does name change = adoption?

[Insomniac]

My husband has 2 kids by his ex. About a year ago she changed the kids last names to her new husbands last name. Does this equal a step-parent adoption? I've been searching the internet for hours but can't find any definite answers. I did read the actual law codes for step-parent adoption in VA, and they kept saying "adoption and name-change", not "adoption OR name change". They way it was worded made me think it was the same thing, but I'm not sure. Anyone else been through this?

I found this on another legal site:

"What if the Biological Parent Consents to the Step-parent Adoption?
The step-parent adoption process will be easier if the biological parent consents. In doing so, the biological parent will give up all rights and obligations to the child, including the right to visitation and to make medical and educational decisions, as well as the obligation to pay child support."

My husband isn't allowed to see them anyway. (no, he was not a bad parent. in va, all the mom has to do to get full custody is put an ad in a newspaper saying she is going to court over it. she lives in a diff. town so obviously my husband didn't know about this court date, where it was decided that he wasn't allowed to see them and could be arrested if he tried) I have read that he can petition to have it lowered in the case of a financial hardship, which we are definately having. However, any time he tries to bring this up in court the judge tells him to shut up, it's not his problem that there are no jobs in our town, if he asks to have it lowered again that it will be raised, and if he opens his mouth again he will be put in jail. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Someone please help so my husband and I can actually have a life one day...

 

[Proserpina]

My husband has 2 kids by his ex. About a year ago she changed the kids last names to her new husbands last name. Does this equal a step-parent adoption? I've been searching the internet for hours but can't find any definite answers. I did read the actual law codes for step-parent adoption in VA, and they kept saying "adoption and name-change", not "adoption OR name change". They way it was worded made me think it was the same thing, but I'm not sure. Anyone else been through this?

Nope. A name change is NOT the same as an adoption. An adoption needs to be completed through the courts.

I found this on another legal site:

"What if the Biological Parent Consents to the Step-parent Adoption?
The step-parent adoption process will be easier if the biological parent consents. In doing so, the biological parent will give up all rights and obligations to the child, including the right to visitation and to make medical and educational decisions, as well as the obligation to pay child support."

My husband isn't allowed to see them anyway. (no, he was not a bad parent. in va, all the mom has to do to get full custody is put an ad in a newspaper saying she is going to court over it. she lives in a diff.

That's completely inaccurate. If he wasn't properly served, your husband had the right to contest ANY custody decision which took place without his knowledge.

town so obviously my husband didn't know about this court date, where it was decided that he wasn't allowed to see them and could be arrested if he tried)

Again he could have contested the decision. He CAN still go to court and request visitation or a modification.

I have read that he can petition to have it lowered in the case of a financial hardship, which we are definately having. However, any time he tries to bring this up in court the judge tells him to shut up, it's not his problem that there are no jobs in our town, if he asks to have it lowered again that it will be raised, and if he opens his mouth again he will be put in jail. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Someone please help so my husband and I can actually have a life one day...

So....Mom has remarried, correct?

Why doesn't Dad just ask Mom if she wants her new husband to adopt the kids?

Or is Mom of the opinion that she'd prefer to keep keeping the child support coming in?

 

[irish223]

My husband has 2 kids by his ex. About a year ago she changed the kids last names to her new husbands last name. Does this equal a step-parent adoption? I've been searching the internet for hours but can't find any definite answers. I did read the actual law codes for step-parent adoption in VA, and they kept saying "adoption and name-change", not "adoption OR name change". They way it was worded made me think it was the same thing, but I'm not sure. Anyone else been through this?

I found this on another legal site:

"What if the Biological Parent Consents to the Step-parent Adoption?
The step-parent adoption process will be easier if the biological parent consents. In doing so, the biological parent will give up all rights and obligations to the child, including the right to visitation and to make medical and educational decisions, as well as the obligation to pay child support."

My husband isn't allowed to see them anyway. (no, he was not a bad parent. in va, all the mom has to do to get full custody is put an ad in a newspaper saying she is going to court over it. she lives in a diff. town so obviously my husband didn't know about this court date, where it was decided that he wasn't allowed to see them and could be arrested if he tried) I have read that he can petition to have it lowered in the case of a financial hardship, which we are definately having. However, any time he tries to bring this up in court the judge tells him to shut up, it's not his problem that there are no jobs in our town, if he asks to have it lowered again that it will be raised, and if he opens his mouth again he will be put in jail. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.

Someone please help so my husband and I can actually have a life one day...

Service by publication is used when the location and whereabouts of the other party are unknown. If your husband had retained an attorney after he lost his visitation, he may have had it changed. Were his parental rights terminated as well?

A change in name is not the same as a step-parent adoption. A child's name can be legally changed without the adoption, though it could also signify that an adoption took place. However, it is required that the father be notified of either before the hearing (unless his parental rights were terminated.)

It's hard to believe that the mother could claim that she doesn't know his location (in order to use service by publication), if he's paying child support.

ETA: I'm slow.....

 

[Insomniac]

she knew where she could find him or reach him on the phone. I'm not sure about the rights being terminated. He had a court date for the child support, and after it was over the ex told him she wanted to change the kids last names. He didn't want to fight with her anymore so he just went signed the paper to let her do it. So there wasn't a hearing or anything like that. He just signed a paper but they didn't give him a copy of it, so I'm not sure what exactly he signed.

 

[Insomniac]

I don't think she would do that if she knew he wouldn't have to pay anymore. It's interesting though, for someone that needs money as much as she says she does, she paid $200 to change both children's names...

 

[irish223]

The kids were not adopted, but your husband did give his consent to change their names.

He should retain an attorney if he wants to try to lower his child support payments.