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Divorce/Separation

Discussion in 'Divorce, Separation, Annulment' started by EJASHLEY, May 25, 2002.

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  1. EJASHLEY

    EJASHLEY Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My husband and I got married in August of 2000. My husband is 26 years older than I. We had one child together and he is 4 years old. At the present time we are not getting alone and I am thinking about separation. I told him wanted a divorce and he told me that I he wasn't going to give me one. Right now I am currently going through mental abuse sometimes physical. He wants me to let him know where I am going, what time I will be home, I have to call him and let him know. However, he is talking about taking my son away from me. My husband tells me that I will not survive without him. I am tired of all the abuse. He is legally blind.....diabetic, previously had prostate cancer. He is on disability and receives a check every month. What I am trying to get at is I don't love him anymore and want to move on with my life. I have two other daughters from a previous marriage. My kids are very upset and confused and I don't want them to be in this type of environment. They don't want to live here anymore. I hope all this make sense. Where do I start in the State of Delaware?

    :(
     
  2. jmacgregor

    jmacgregor New Member

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    I'll start by asking you why you married this person in the first place, but I don't really want an answer. However, I can give you some guidance in getting out of your situation.

    First, define "mental abuse". Physical abuse is a whole other story, usually leaving physical remains or evidence. This is very easy to document and use in court. Once physical damage is documented, I would think mental/emotional anguish would be very easy to associate.

    Steps to take:
    Document everything!!! Use quotes, times and dates. Photograph any physical damage and then re-photograph every 24-hours to note damage/recovery progress. This is important if a medical professional is called in to physically evaluate you. If you go to an Emergency Room for care of injuries sustained by your husband, the ER is required by law to offer assistance and protection to you and your children. Law enforcement will be notified and the option to press charges will be at your disposal. If you choose this route, I would advise the ER of your circumstances and request their code of abuse privacy (every hospital is required to have one). The will deny your husband knowledge of you being there...supposedly. At this point you might also file for a restraining order or an order of protection as assault and battery charges are quickly released from jail. These are very evasive means and should be considered very carefully for many reasons.

    More discrete means and also less evasive means are available. After you prepare your documentation, seek professional advise from a women's shelter, Dept. of Social Services, or any other organization in your area that deals with abused women and children. Your visit to any of these places will be documented and taken very seriously as an attempt to elude further damage. Such organizations are your key to a quick divorce in your situation. However, even though these tools are at your disposal, I have to advise that abuse of these tools is your first step toward losing your children.

    How your husband will take your children:
    Based on your description of his medical condition, I would find it hard to believe that any reasonable judge would find a blind man with terminal medical disabilities suitable to care for a 4 year old much less support a child (or 3) adequately on a disability income alone. Then again, the odds of a man gaining full custody of the children are generally not in his favor.
     
  3. EJASHLEY

    EJASHLEY Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thanks for the input......it helped to gear me in the right direction.
     

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