Disabled , married to a federal employee and desperately wanting to divorce.

[RageOfAngels]

After much contemplating, I've decided to end a ten year marriage, which involves two school aged boys(9 and 6), a ton of debt, and physical obstacles of my own. The relationship is emotionally detrimental to not only myself but the kids and I've come to the conclusion the only way to fix things is to dissove what's left.

While there are the obvious issues to deal with; the financial dent a divorce will make, custody of the children, etc, a few other concerns have surfaced.

What if the other party contests it? I want the divorce, I've bought it up in the past and his response was" you'd be nothing without me" I'm legally blind and continuing to lose my sight and living off disablity. I have no access to any of his accounts,checking or credit cards. It's always been 'his money', never joint.

Can someone be forced in staying in a marriage?

I found out that I signed a quit claim unknowingly, did i really sign away all my rights to the property?

Can he going after half of 634.00 I recieve a month from SSDI and what I make from my part time job in which I make about 300.00 month?

Can he use my sight loss against me regarding custody of the kids? I will not use them as pawns in this, in fact he may see them whenever he wishes to. I'm not trying to be malicious, I just can't be married to this man anymore.

Will I be responsible for half the debt he's ecrued over the years, considering he had once used a cash advance on a credit card to gamble?

Here's to finding some clarity, thank you
R-O-A

 

[Rings]

I am not a lawyer, but I did have a nasty divorce and a custody battle for two children so I may be able to offer some advice and answer some of this for you.

Debt is generally split. However, if everything is in his name then it is technically his responsibility to pay the debt according to the creditors. All of our credit cards were in my husbands name and I was a card holder so if he files bankruptcy, then they will come after me for the money. Until this happens, I was told by a bankruptcy lawyer not to worry about it until someone is trying to sue me and then if I do get sued, I can file bankruptcy before the court date and that will elimitate their ability to sue me for it.

As for the custody, he can use your disability in court to try to prove you unfit to care for the children, but it's a hard case to win for a man. Even if he did win custody, then you would be entitled to visitation rights. If you try for 50/50 split custody then the courts will typically grant you that because it means you are willing to share the kids. The courts look at what is best for the children and parents who share is what is best for the children.

He cannot actually take any of your income, but if he wins full custody then you may have to pay child support (depending on how much you make as opposed to how much he makes) The courts use two types of child support charts A & B - These charts are based on which parent has the most over nights with the children. Each state varies. Chart A typically is used for a full time parent (full custody) whereas chart B is based on 50/50 custody. They pretty much make sure that each parent is contributing the same amount of money to the kids and that is why child support is factored even if you don't want to pay or receive... the courts will over ride whatever you want for the better interest of the kids.

You cannot be forced to stay married. If he does not want the divorce, then he does not have to go to court, but you will still be granted the dissalousion of marriage and it is in his better interest to show up or else you may get custody if he is not there to make any choices for himself.

I hope this helps some. *hugs*