Different state custody question

[thetimmmber]

Hello, My name is C.W. I am going to censor names on this public site - because this is the internet. I need some legal advice/help. Me and my ex-boy(L.C.) friend have a son together, A.C. We are no longer together - I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he is currently living in Colorado. When A.C. was born neither of us had a job, so we joined Calworks. Part of the terms of Calworks is that when one of us got employed that we had to pay back the money they gave us each month. L.C. just got a job. Now he is very angry because the state of California is garnishing his paychecks and he is making very little. His new girlfriend is going to have his baby very soon. He is now threatening that he is going to take me to court, to get custody of A.C.. He has not been in A.C.'s life at all. He has only spent a few months with him (A.C. is now 3 years old). He is extremely unstable. Bouncing from job to job, history of drug abuse - as well as, unfortunately, undocumented domestic abuse. He is a convicted felon. Even though I am not employed - A.C. and I live with my boyfriend who loves, supports and takes great care of both of us. At least that no employment is more stable than his erratic employment history. My boyfriend has been a first grade teacher for 5 years. A.C. is always well fed, well clothed and taken care of by people who love him dearly. He enjoys spending nights with my mother and grandmother frequently. We will be enrolling him in one of the best respected private schools in the Bay Area when he is 4. I am not opposed to L.C. seeing A.C. - just due to his past, and his present situation (new baby on the way) I do not think he could provide A.C. with a situation as good as he has here. I do not want him to be granted sole, full physical custody of A.C.. My mother is currently only allowed to let a certain amount of people live with her, who are written on her lease. L.C. stayed with at her house with me for about 6 months - and, against my mother's wishes, had mail sent there with his name on it. This will get my mother is quite a bit of trouble with Housing. Is this a technicality that could get us caught up?
What should I do?? Is it unwise to represent myself in court? What do I need/should I have with me if I do choose to represent myself? If I want to file for sole, full custody - does Levi have to be present? I spoke to one lawyer, as he told me that when he practiced Family Law that in this situation the person filing for sole custody had to be in the state the child is currently living. Is that true? I would greatly appreciate any help, advice anyone can offer me.

 

[Duranie]

First of all Dad still has rights, and you chose him to be the father regardless of his criminal history. The fact he is expecting another child or job hopping is not relevant. Also if your mother had people living with her that she was not supposed to that is also irrelevant and if they lived there, she is still responsible for what happens neither you or her can blame Dad for that. Dad is likely not going to get custody but he is entitled to visitation. time to co-parent with Dad. He may have to establish paternity first. You living with your boyfriend and having a young child is not ideal either.

So Dad is very unlikely to get custody since he lives out of state but he will likely get some visitation. You can ask for supervised at first.

 

[thetimmmber]

First of all Dad still has rights, and you chose him to be the father regardless of his criminal history. The fact he is expecting another child or job hopping is not relevant. Also if your mother had people living with her that she was not supposed to that is also irrelevant and if they lived there, she is still responsible for what happens neither you or her can blame Dad for that. Dad is likely not going to get custody but he is entitled to visitation. time to co-parent with Dad. He may have to establish paternity first. You living with your boyfriend and having a young child is not ideal either.

So Dad is very unlikely to get custody since he lives out of state but he will likely get some visitation. You can ask for supervised at first.

Thank you very much for your reply!

You do not think past criminal record, or showing signs of employment instability and financial weakness is relevant?

I was reading some information the court put on their website, and it states if both parties can not come up with a situation they are both happy with, the court will decide who gets custody based upon what they think will be the best situation for the child.

I know the father has rights, and as I stated before I have no problem with father seeing the child...but taking him away, to get back at me (for Calworks garnishing his paychecks)? Not so much.

 

[Duranie]

Stop listening to him. He can threaten all he wants but he is dreaming if he thinks he is going to get custody. And his criminal record may not matter, honestly because you had a baby with him anyways. Unless it involves kids, the courts may not care about that. Show your willingness to co-parent and that will get you far in court.