death of spouses and notifying estranged adult children

[JROBBINS]

Jurisdiction

Oklahoma

My husband is much older than I am, he is 72 and I am 49. He has 3 estranged adult children and 2 sisters. We both have all paperwork in order wills, power of attorneys, and llc's. Am I legally obligated to notify his estranged adult children or have a formal funeral or post an obituary? Can I just quietly and privately take care of business? And when I pass away if I have already paid for and made all nessacery arrangement does anyone have to notify my children of my death if I do not want them notified?

 

[army judge]

Am I legally obligated to notify his estranged adult children or have a formal funeral or post an obituary?

No, neither would he be to do that for you.

My father-in-law died at age 101!!!

You just might predecease him.

If you want something to happen upon your death, entrust it to someone who won't fail you, or hire an attorney to see it through on your behalf.

Can I just quietly and privately take care of business?

Yes, you may.

When I pass away if I have already paid for and made all nessacery arrangement does anyone have to notify my children of my death if I do not want them notified?

Notifications can be withheld, if you hire the right person or law firm to do it your way.

 

[adjusterjack]

I agree with Army Judge.

But I have to add: being estranged from family is a tragic thing, especially from one's children.

I don't know you or your situation and maybe you have good reason, but I've seen it in my own family and no good comes of it.

Maybe it's time to make the first move toward reconciliation.

 

[hrforme]

Personally, I will say that there is nothing worse than being sent a funeral program the week after the funeral for a grandmother who was special in the earlier part of my life. Yes, she and my dad were not all that close (she was his stepmom), but she was the only grandmother that I knew and she was very very kind to me over the years. Her children decided not to notify my father or the rest of us although we had kept in some contact over the years -- even paid some bills for her when her money ran out. At least some of my siblings and I would have liked to pay our last respects. Sad that they didn't allow us that opportunity.