DCS

[LCC591213]

Jurisdiction

Tennessee

I don't know who else to turn to. I moved down to Tennessee to help my son get his daughters back. They should never have been taken from him and his wife. They claimed they dropped dirty on their drug test because my son's pills were not in a bottle, but he could provide a prescription for each and every pill that showed up on the drug screening. They took the girls and put them in foster care anyways and then tried to find what they could on my daughter in law to say she was a bad mother. Neither one of them are or were bad parents, they love their children they took care of their children and would die for their children. Yet their have been made to jump through all kinds of hoops and even when they have done that they were told they didn't jump high enough. This whole thing has been about my daughter in law unfortunately and it's wrong. Now they are saying that since it is almost a year since this has gone on they could possibly try to sever their parental rights. They need help, their Court appointed lawyers have sat back and allowed DCS to do whatever they have wanted. They say they are doing what is in the best interest of the children, but being apart from their parents for a whole year was not in their best interest. That's a whole year of their lives they can never get back, a whole year of birthdays, holidays,and school events, not to mention the trauma the youngest two went through the first couple of months they were taken from their parents. They have been in therapy for some time to overcome this whole thing. And probably will need therapy for quite a while after this is over,if it ever ends. At this point I will take any advice or help that anyone can give us.
Thank you
Desperate for help

 

[army judge]

At this point I will take any advice or help that anyone can give us.

If a person dislikes their FREE, TAXPAYER funded attorney; the person is free to hire an attorney of their choice.

Very few attorneys will offer pro bono assistance in child custody matters.

A few will do such pro bono work.

Therefore, you need to start searching your county, surrounding counties to see if you can find an attorney willing to do this at no cost, or low cost.

Google, Bing, Yahoo, Duck Duck Goose, etcc. stand ready to help you seek that which you desire.

 

[adjusterjack]

They claimed they dropped dirty on their drug test because my son's pills were not in a bottle, but he could provide a prescription for each and every pill that showed up on the drug screening.

These things don't just happen out of the blue.

Why did CPS get involved in the first place?

Why did your son and his wife have to have drug tests in the first place?

There is either a lot you don't know or a lot you just aren't telling.

 

[ElleMD]

First, you need to realize that is not the sum total of the story. DCS does not have the time or resources to go around randomly drug testing perfectly loving and capable parents and finding foster placements for children simply because their father kept his Rx in something other than the original container. Nowhere in this country is DCS so flush with willing foster parents that they can remove children for no good reason.

Whatever the real story is, your son and DIL need to be completely honest and upfront with their attorney. If they are not, there isn't much the attorney can do to advise them.

 

[LCC591213]

These things don't just happen out of the blue.

Why did CPS get involved in the first place?

Why did your son and his wife have to have drug tests in the first place?

There is either a lot you don't know or a lot you just aren't telling.

Their oldest daughter started all this. She was put into foster care claiming that her mom hit her. But she did this at 16 years old while she was falsely told by an adult she trusted that she could choose her foster family. She did this as a way to hurt her mom in the first place. And things snowballed from there. There's no more to the story than that, those girls should never have been taken out of that home. They were basically taken and then an investigation was done. But true enough they would not have been under a microscope if not for the oldest. Who regretted her actions once the youngest three were taken out of the home.

 

[ElleMD]

It still takes more than a spanking to get a child removed, even if true, let alone children who were not. Finding placements for 4 kids is not easy and not something that would happen based on one kid in the family lying about getting spanked.

 

[LCC591213]

It still takes more than a spanking to get a child removed, even if true, let alone children who were not. Finding placements for 4 kids is not easy and not something that would happen based on one kid in the family lying about getting spanked.

Well it happened, I know for a fact that my son and daughter-in-law did not abuse nor neglect my granddaughters, if I would have thought that was true I would have gotten custody and brought them back to Michigan. They did nothing to deserve their children to be taken from them. And believe or not sometimes it does happen.

 

[adjusterjack]

I know for a fact

No, you don't know anything "for a fact." You weren't in their house 24/7. You have no idea what was going on other than what they tell you.

About the only way you can "help" them is foot the bill for a private attorney if they don't like how the free attorney is working out. Otherwise you have no standing to be in the middle of their legal issues and it would be best for you to let them handle it by themselves.

 

[LCC591213]

No, you don't know anything "for a fact." You weren't in their house 24/7. You have no idea what was going on other than what they tell you.

About the only way you can "help" them is foot the bill for a private attorney if they don't like how the free attorney is working out. Otherwise you have no standing to be in the middle of their legal issues and it would be best for you to let them handle it by themselves.

 

[LCC591213]

I am afraid that you are wrong this has been about their drug test that they tested positive for medication they're prescribed and they both have been spot on every drop they've had in a year and I've been down here with them since September of last year so I'm aware of everything that goes on. They are keeping those girls in foster care to give the state money for having them there and there is no OTHER REASON!

 

[army judge]

They are keeping those girls in foster care to give the state money for having them there and there is no OTHER REASON!

The state doesn't want anyone's children.

Heck, no one wants children not their own, and many don't want the children they bred.

There is no money to be made in raising your own children, much less the children of other people.

Thank God there are people who genuinely do give a damn about helping children at risk.

In this case, I'd be asking the state how I can help.

I'd also be grateful that the state stepped in to keep those innocent kids from suffering because another pair of breeders failed to attend to their family properly.

 

[LCC591213]

The state doesn't want anyone's children.

Heck, no one wants children not their own, and many don't want the children they bred.

There is no money to be made in raising your own children, much less the children of other people.

Thank God there are people who genuinely do give a damn about helping children at risk.

In this case, I'd be asking the state how I can help.

I'd also be grateful that the state stepped in to keep those innocent kids from suffering because another pair of breeders failed to attend to their family properly.

You have no idea what you are talking about. Those children were well taken care of and should never have been removed from their home.

 

[ElleMD]

The state does not receive money because the kids are in foster care. The state does get some funding to run its programs from the federal government, but it is not a set rate per capita. It costs the state money to deal with your family. A lot of money. They have zero incentive to want to inflate the number of children served.

Think about it logically. If every time a child in TN got a spanking they and all of their siblings were put in foster care very few kids would actually live with their parents. It is rare anymore to meet an adult who isn't on a Rx for something or other. Drug testing is expensive. No way could the state regularly drug test every parent who takes some sort of medication, and no way are they going to keep paying to test someone who repeatedly shows they are only on the meds they are prescribed.

 

[LCC591213]

The state does not receive money because the kids are in foster care. The state does get some funding to run its programs from the federal government, but it is not a set rate per capita. It costs the state money to deal with your family. A lot of money. They have zero incentive to want to inflate the number of children served.

Think about it logically. If every time a child in TN got a spanking they and all of their siblings were put in foster care very few kids would actually live with their parents. It is rare anymore to meet an adult who isn't on a Rx for something or other. Drug testing is expensive. No way could the state regularly drug test every parent who takes some sort of medication, and no way are they going to keep paying to test someone who repeatedly shows they are only on the meds they are prescribed.

DCS has been testing my son for almost a year now and counting his pills and his tests and counts have been spot on and yet he still has supervised visits and there's talk of terminating his parental rights. So I find it hard to believe that they don't have an agenda for leaving my granddaughters in foster care. You don't know the whole story so I find it difficult to swallow some of the opinions I am getting on here. I asked for advice to help me help my son get his daughters back not opinions on what they probably did wrong. THEY DID NOTHING WRONG

 

[ElleMD]

If you don't tell us the whole story, we don't know it. Your best bet is to take the whole story to a family law attorney you pay for.

 

[army judge]

You have no idea what you are talking about. Those children were well taken care of and should never have been removed from their home.

You're right, I'm just another dummy on the internet.
However, child Services did have the power to take control of the children.
Thank God Almighty and Child Services for protecting those precious babies.

 

[leslie82]

Their oldest daughter started all this. She was put into foster care claiming that her mom hit her. But she did this at 16 years old while she was falsely told by an adult she trusted that she could choose her foster family. She did this as a way to hurt her mom in the first place. And things snowballed from there. There's no more to the story than that, those girls should never have been taken out of that home. They were basically taken and then an investigation was done. But true enough they would not have been under a microscope if not for the oldest. Who regretted her actions once the youngest three were taken out of the home.

It takes more than a child saying "my parents beat me" to get them removed from their home. First off, spanking and corporal punishment are legal in all 50 states. The only stipulation is generally that it has to be reasonable and can't cause injury. So there is no way that CPS just came in and took the kids with no evidence of neglect or abuse. They just don't do that. I'll give you an example: My ex mother in law called CPS on one of her daughter's because she doesn't like her son in law (for good reason). She was told about cars going to and from throughout the night at their house and had seen him verbally abuse her granddaughters (who are his stepdaughters). She denied it when I first asked her but admitted to me later yeah she called. Guess what happened? CPS went and talked to the girls, talked to the mom and stepdad. Nothing happened to those kids. There was no evidence of neglect or abuse. I have been told that in my state if there are no obvious signs of neglect or abuse they will close out an investigation pretty quickly.

So you aren't getting the entire story because CPS will not take a kid or kids out of home simply because one of them says "my parents beat me."

Why did they get drug tested? They don't just do that. My ex sister in law and her husband never got drug tested (and he probably should have been). There is so much more that I don't think you are aware of in this situation.

 

[leslie82]

DCS has been testing my son for almost a year now and counting his pills and his tests and counts have been spot on and yet he still has supervised visits and there's talk of terminating his parental rights. So I find it hard to believe that they don't have an agenda for leaving my granddaughters in foster care. You don't know the whole story so I find it difficult to swallow some of the opinions I am getting on here. I asked for advice to help me help my son get his daughters back not opinions on what they probably did wrong. THEY DID NOTHING WRONG

Oh it seems that you don't know the whole story. Ever think your son or daughter in law could be lying to you? People on here who have explained to you how things work with foster care or drug testing. They don't just randomly go in and take kids or drug test. They also don't just take every kid who says "I get spanked" or "I get beaten." They investigate and have to find evidence of neglect or abuse.

Also the state doesn't just take away parental rights for little things. I would definitely go talk to my son again and find out what he's not telling me if this happened to my kid.

Oh and you asked for advice and got it - people need the REAL story to help you. If you don't like it go talk to a lawyer.

 

[cynthiag]

I have to agree with everyone else here who is saying that CPS just doesn't come in and take away kids and threaten to terminate parental rights, as well as continually drug test, based upon one instance of a kid saying something like "my mom hit me".

I've know several people who have had CPS called on them more than once by an ex who thought they could get them in trouble; the kids were interviewed and the adults were interviewed and the cases were closed very quickly. No one from CPS ever suggested even one drug test for the parent(s), much less taking the kids from the home.

And if the original issue supposedly was the fact that the 16-year-old said her mom hit her, then why does it sound as though at this point they are concentrating solely on the father as being the issue? Something doesn't add up here.

 

[shrinkmaster]

I belong to a "Parenting forum" Parent Nook Forums - Index page hosted by this site! There we have discussions on issues not unlike yours. You are free to use this forum to see if other parents had similar situations and how they dealt with them. However based on what I know of children's services there is more to this than you likely know. I understand we want to think the best of our children but sometimes they make poor choices. I am NOT saying these two are bad parents or even did what they are said to have done just that it "might" be even somewhat true. You have no real recourse as you are not legally involved. HOwever ask the parents of this other forum they may have some insight