WorriedDad
New Member
I am a divorced single father, I have full custody of my son. I have also been a "daddy" to an amazing 13yr old girl for 12 1/2 yrs of her life. When we were divorced I was not in a position to be able to afford a lawyer, and was always told that I had no chance to take custody of or have visitation with my step daughter. I never pursued the issue since I never dreamed that her mother would ever try to take her away from me, especially since I had custody of her brother, and maintained a decent relationship with each other. Unfortunately over the last couple of years my childs/stepchilds mother has descended into a world of drug abuse, neglecting and abusing her children.
It started when I began to notice that when I would pick the kids up from their mother it appeared that they had not showered, changed their clothes, or brushed their teeth in days. My stepdaughter, being the older one(10yrs old, son was 8 at the time) would tell me how mom would sleep all day, and she was responsible for cooking meals for the other children in the home, and took care of her other younger brother while mom was sleeping.(one yr old baby in the home). I would also hear all sorts of horror stories about drunken people in the home breaking things, and going crazy in front of the children. Their house was so disgusting that I wouldnt even go past the front door. Piles of clothes everywhere, dishes piled 3ft above the sink, boxes of empty beer cans everywhere, and anywhere from 3-5 animals in a tiny townhouse apartment. They were also investigated by Childrens Services when a 3yr old in their care was found wondering down a busy street at 3 a.m. My ex wifes new husband was charged with Neglect and Endangerment, but pleaded guilty to lesser charges, and got off with a slap on the wrist.
Things really came to a head when I began to hear from my stepdaughter and son about mommy and granny smoking weed in the house in front of the children. These kids could describe a "bowl", and what the marijuana looked and smelled like. My stepdaughter began to confide(at our urging) in her teachers at school. Which initiated the Protective Services investigations. They really let those kids down. I called and provided a full report of what I seen and heard from those kids about the house. CPS gave my ex wife two weeks notice that they were coming to inspect the home!! They stood by and watched her mother literally drag my screaming crying stepdaughter out of my home, where CPS had came to interview the children. Then took TWO WEEKS to get around to going to my ex wifes home to interview my stepdaughter. By that time my ex had convinced my step daughter that she was NOT on drugs, told her that I was NOT her real father, and if she told CPS the truth that she would go to a foster home, she would never see her baby brother again, and that her mommy would go to jail. Also she convinced her that I was just trying to ruin her mommies life, and take her away from her, etc etc etc, effectively turning "my lil girl" against me. Never in my life have I felt so sick.
I did what I had to do and took my ex back to court, I filed contempt charges against her for never paying one cent of child support, and violating the parenting plan by using drugs and alcohol around the children. She ended up with visitation every other weekend, with no overnight stays. And am about to file to make those visits supervised.
As my step daughter has gotten older, she has realized what her mom did to her. How she lied to her and turned her against me, because not long after the ink had dried on the CPS investigations ruling that she was innocent, she went back to her old habits of drinking, and drugging in front of her children.
Things have even escalated to the point of physical abuse, and on her 13th birthday her mother provided marijuana to her daughter, and her friends, at her birthday party. A party which my son, and 3-4 other 8-10 yr olds were present, and knew what was going on. My son speaks as casually about "weed" as other people talk about chocolate cake.
My ex was busted when one of my stepdaughters friends went home and told her mother about what had happened at the party. Currently she is charged with five counts of Contributing to Delinquency of a Minor, and is to have no contact with her children until DEC 22nd, which might be when her hearing is. Im not sure what is going to happen then.Also it is my understanding that additional charges of Neglect may follow, and of course their is an active investigation by CPS. My stepdaughter is staying with my EX Girlfriend, who through all of this has maintained a tolerable relationship with my ex wife.(for the kids sake). She is a godsend,(she works with troubled youth) if it wasnt for her, my stepdaughter would have went into states custody, since their is no way her mother would agree to let her come to me.
So, I know this is long, and complicated, but DAMN it feels good to put it all down on "paper". I guess what I would like to know is what you gentlemen think my chances are of getting custody of my stepdaughter. Or if I would be better off petitioning for visitation only. I know stepchild cases are tricky, which is why I included so much information..
It started when I began to notice that when I would pick the kids up from their mother it appeared that they had not showered, changed their clothes, or brushed their teeth in days. My stepdaughter, being the older one(10yrs old, son was 8 at the time) would tell me how mom would sleep all day, and she was responsible for cooking meals for the other children in the home, and took care of her other younger brother while mom was sleeping.(one yr old baby in the home). I would also hear all sorts of horror stories about drunken people in the home breaking things, and going crazy in front of the children. Their house was so disgusting that I wouldnt even go past the front door. Piles of clothes everywhere, dishes piled 3ft above the sink, boxes of empty beer cans everywhere, and anywhere from 3-5 animals in a tiny townhouse apartment. They were also investigated by Childrens Services when a 3yr old in their care was found wondering down a busy street at 3 a.m. My ex wifes new husband was charged with Neglect and Endangerment, but pleaded guilty to lesser charges, and got off with a slap on the wrist.
Things really came to a head when I began to hear from my stepdaughter and son about mommy and granny smoking weed in the house in front of the children. These kids could describe a "bowl", and what the marijuana looked and smelled like. My stepdaughter began to confide(at our urging) in her teachers at school. Which initiated the Protective Services investigations. They really let those kids down. I called and provided a full report of what I seen and heard from those kids about the house. CPS gave my ex wife two weeks notice that they were coming to inspect the home!! They stood by and watched her mother literally drag my screaming crying stepdaughter out of my home, where CPS had came to interview the children. Then took TWO WEEKS to get around to going to my ex wifes home to interview my stepdaughter. By that time my ex had convinced my step daughter that she was NOT on drugs, told her that I was NOT her real father, and if she told CPS the truth that she would go to a foster home, she would never see her baby brother again, and that her mommy would go to jail. Also she convinced her that I was just trying to ruin her mommies life, and take her away from her, etc etc etc, effectively turning "my lil girl" against me. Never in my life have I felt so sick.
I did what I had to do and took my ex back to court, I filed contempt charges against her for never paying one cent of child support, and violating the parenting plan by using drugs and alcohol around the children. She ended up with visitation every other weekend, with no overnight stays. And am about to file to make those visits supervised.
As my step daughter has gotten older, she has realized what her mom did to her. How she lied to her and turned her against me, because not long after the ink had dried on the CPS investigations ruling that she was innocent, she went back to her old habits of drinking, and drugging in front of her children.
Things have even escalated to the point of physical abuse, and on her 13th birthday her mother provided marijuana to her daughter, and her friends, at her birthday party. A party which my son, and 3-4 other 8-10 yr olds were present, and knew what was going on. My son speaks as casually about "weed" as other people talk about chocolate cake.
My ex was busted when one of my stepdaughters friends went home and told her mother about what had happened at the party. Currently she is charged with five counts of Contributing to Delinquency of a Minor, and is to have no contact with her children until DEC 22nd, which might be when her hearing is. Im not sure what is going to happen then.Also it is my understanding that additional charges of Neglect may follow, and of course their is an active investigation by CPS. My stepdaughter is staying with my EX Girlfriend, who through all of this has maintained a tolerable relationship with my ex wife.(for the kids sake). She is a godsend,(she works with troubled youth) if it wasnt for her, my stepdaughter would have went into states custody, since their is no way her mother would agree to let her come to me.
So, I know this is long, and complicated, but DAMN it feels good to put it all down on "paper". I guess what I would like to know is what you gentlemen think my chances are of getting custody of my stepdaughter. Or if I would be better off petitioning for visitation only. I know stepchild cases are tricky, which is why I included so much information..
