Custody of Unborn Child

[Marc7585]

My name is Marcus, I am 23, I serve as a budget analyst with the DoD for a command of the U.S. Army and I live in Davenport, IA. My ex-girlfriend and I recently learned of her pregnancy and we planned to move in with each other in Iowa. At that time we both believed that it was in our child's best interest to be raised by two parents in one household. We both thought that we would work out and that this decision was a good one. Somewhere down the line that changed, she recently told me that she had no use for me and that she will no longer move to Iowa. She told me that she will "let me know how the kid is doing".

No formal agreement of moving in with each other outside of our word was made, the decision to move to Iowa was made because the job I have is more stable, she stated that she believed a "child should know their father" and a mother shouldn't take that away, I agreed to do any and everything for my child both before and after the birth.

I was wondering what steps should I take to get custody of my unborn child. I don't want to be pushed out of my child's life and I want to fight for it. I believe that I can provide a better house and a better life for a child because 1. I have a thriving career 2. I live a sedentary lifestyle and have time to raise a child and 3. I am more responsible than the mother.

All advice/help on this subject will help.

 

[irish223]

Until the child is born, the only thing you can do is list yourself as the father on the Putative Fathers Registry in your state.

I also would not plan on getting primary custody of a newborn unless you can prove that the mother is unfit, and nothing you've posted suggests that. You may be able to get joint physical and legal custody. However, if you're moving out of state and the mother isn't, then you'll probably end up with a long distance parenting plan.

 

[Marc7585]

Well she currently lives in Arizona and I live in Iowa, she previously decided that she would move. For me, it would'nt make sense financially.

 

[Duranie]

You caanot do anything until the birth and paternity is established.

I would not count on custody. It is virtually impossible to get custody of a baby unless the mom is on drugs or homeless, and she abuses the child. You certainly have rights to visitation though once paterntiy is established. You will likely be paying child support as well.

 

[irish223]

Well she currently lives in Arizona and I live in Iowa, she previously decided that she would move. For me, it would'nt make sense financially.

It's unfortunate for you, but her previous decision to move is/will be irrelevant to the custody issue. It may be relevant to transportation costs related to visitation.