custody help

[cccmom]

I received papers for a custody hearing from my ex husband we have been divorced for 3 years, our son is 16 and has not gone for his every other weekend visits on about a month. Our daughter is 9. The papers i have say the reasons he wants custody is because i have unpaid bills, the man im living with who has custody of his 2 children has previous convictions of DUI, but so does my ex.
He says that now that he is remarried and has a 5-bedroom house he should have custody.
The only thing that i have ever done wrong is not paying my bills on time most being medical bills i have never had srs called on me my home is clean my children taken care of. They both say they wont go they say they will run away, my son says he wants to talk to the judge; i have trouble getting them to go for a weekend let alone making them live there. If i thought for one second that my children would be happier there i wouldn't fight this, but they wont be and i cant stand the thought of them being unhappy
I would be thankful for any suggestions. and one more thing, he did this within a week after i took him to court for more childsupport.

 

[Mom2Girls]

He has to prove you are unfit and it is in the best interest of the child to take full custody. If you know that is not your situation then be brave and see it through. It is kind of obvious it is retaliation since you had him in court for child support recently...

But then again, you ex is married, is this just a boyfriend you are living with? I doubt it makes that much of a difference...I hope it does not get messy. I am not an expert by far but I do know that they won't just take your kids unless they find you or the home environment unfit in some manner....

 

[jimmysgirl]

your kids dont get to decide they arent seeing dad

I received papers for a custody hearing from my ex husband we have been divorced for 3 years, our son is 16 and has not gone for his every other weekend visits on about a month. Our daughter is 9. The papers i have say the reasons he wants custody is because i have unpaid bills, the man im living with who has custody of his 2 children has previous convictions of DUI, but so does my ex.
He says that now that he is remarried and has a 5-bedroom house he should have custody.
The only thing that i have ever done wrong is not paying my bills on time most being medical bills i have never had srs called on me my home is clean my children taken care of. They both say they wont go they say they will run away, my son says he wants to talk to the judge; i have trouble getting them to go for a weekend let alone making them live there. If i thought for one second that my children would be happier there i wouldn't fight this, but they wont be and i cant stand the thought of them being unhappy
I would be thankful for any suggestions. and one more thing, he did this within a week after i took him to court for more childsupport.

if dad has court ordered visitation, you MUST make them go, or face contempt charges, and done enough times, they will be living with dad and visiting you.untill they are 18, they have no say in the visitation matter. that may be one reason why dad filed for custody, because you are letting your kids call the shots( which they shouldnt be doing, and you have NO business letting them do) instead of obeying the court order and making them go. would you let them stay out all night, or not go to school, or skip doing their homework? would you let your son stay the night at his gf's house? you need to start putting your foot down, and stop letting your CHILDREN( because that is what they legally are untill they are 18) run the show.:no:

 

[calalily]

Unpaid bills will not get him custody, but violating his visitation rights may. It does look good for him that he has a five bedroom house and is married. Do the kids have their own bedrooms or at least only sharing a room with one other child? If your daughter is the only girl she should have a room of her own and vice versa, if your son is the only boy he should have a room of his own. Explain to your children that by law they have to go visit him or you may lose custody. The judge may ask them who they want to live with, but the judge will decide what he feels is in their best interest. Do you have a lawyer to represent you? I would get one if you don't. AND whatever you do, do NOT say bad things about your ex to the children no matter what. If the judge hears from the kids that you are bad mouthing the dad it will go against you and he will probably ask them.