Custody for Dad please! Need advice

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Txcetaf

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My fiance (dad) would like to get custody of his daughter. I play the role of the stepmom in this scenario, and we would greatly appreciate advice on the following:

1.) How likely is it that he will get custody?
2.) What can he do to prepare?


Here's the background. We're in Texas. Mother has had custody since their separation (were never married) for 6+ years. Mother's past has been hazy but gotten better. She refused to give him visitation for several years, he had to go to Child Visitation Enforcement constantly, they had mediation… it was lengthy. Mom literally did not believe she had to abide by the orders, thought it was "How and when I decide". For ~ 3 years now he's been getting his standard visitation, but mom still defies a visitation here and there (maybe down to 5 incidents a year).

Daughter is now 11 yrs old and wants to live with us. The reason we want custody unfortunately falls along the lines of "she's a bad parent" with less hard facts. Mom has remarried and had 2 kids, and Daughter is used as a caretaker. She's been left alone with a baby since she was 9. (Certainly occasions where CPS could have been called, but dad refused.) Mom is emotionally abusive (our opinion), and often emotionally blackmails her child. Mom just consistently does not place her Daughters interests before hers. Not to mention that Daughter's childhood is not being nourished. I suppose that's the short version.

:confused: I'm unsure about how "the facts" would play out in court, and how successfully Dad would be able to establish himself as a better parent. Dad has large corp. good steady job. Mom owns some flea market stands – only works them on weekends. Mom has had DWI and some other blip for no car insurance, nothing major we know of. Dad is clean.

Dad is very concerned about the retaliation that Mom could lay on Daughter upon any upset.

Thanks!
 
This is Dad's fight you need to remove yourself from it outside of gathering info for him. Next he would need to seek a modifcation of custody order and without evidence that Mom is being abusive, harmful, neglectful etc the judge would have no reason to change order. You should be collecting information at this point an dif need be file CPS reports. Use caution doing so as excessive reports or reports over minor issues will work against Dad not in favor. Do not tell the child of your plan and keep her out of it. If anything if she askes to move in merely tell her if your Mommy says ok. When that wears out then you can tell her Dad, not you, are working on it but it might take some time. Dad, again not you, should also consult an Attorney
 
Do not tell the child of your plan and keep her out of it. If anything if she askes to move in merely tell her if your Mommy says ok. When that wears out then you can tell her Dad, not you, are working on it but it might take some time.

I strongly disagree with this. She should not be involved in this, PERIOD.
If she asks if she can live with Dad, tell her no, and if need be, tell her the judge says she is to live with mom and spend time with Dad and you.

For one, she should NOT be asking Mom to move. And I doubt that Mom would say yes, don't you agree? Even if Mom did agree, and they filed an agreement, the child should not know about it until and unless it was official.

I don't think Dad has much against Mom. He would need to prove abuse/neglect and that's very hard to do, especially without documentation from a neutral party (cps, teachers, counsellors, etc).

Their employment, or lack thereof, isn't important. Bad parenting is not a reason to change custody unless there is neglect/abuse. Maybe Dad could file to get more parenting time.
 
I'm not worried about how to handle the situation with Daughter. Sadly, she is the one that constantly says things to us about her living situation. And mom doesn't help. Even though it is getting more challenging as she is getting older and wiser, we deal with it gracefully. (We do not build up animosity towards mom, or anything horrible). Thank you for your concern.

The replies that Dad does not have much against Mom are disheartening, but not surprising.

What about Daughter's age? I keep reading:

The court may modify an order ….if modification would be in the best interest of the child and:
(1)the circumstances of the child, a conservator, or other party affected by the order have materially and substantially changed …
(2)the child is at least 12 years of age and has filed with the court, in writing, the name of the person who is the child 's preference to have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child;

I know that exclusively this isn't enough for Dad to get her, but does it give him something to stand on?

Thank you:)
 
Not a lawyer!

I amnot sure where you are from but in GA, the age does matter. My husband was told by his lawyer as long as the child is almost 12 they will listen to her, well probably will. You really need a lawyer. They will tell you if you stand a chance or not. If there have not been any big changes in circumstance probably not. Call local lawyers and get in for a consultation. They will tell you right then if they think it is worth fighting. If they tell you it is in the bag and it will be no problem, find another one. Even if a lawyer thinks it is doo able it is no way easy. Goodluck. We are going through it right now.
 
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