Custody/Child Support

[Shinako]

*sigh* Here goes...

I am a 21-year-old mother of one two-year-old daughter. Her father and I separated a little over one year ago. We were never married, but he is on her birth certificate as the father. We live in the state of North Carolina, and there is little I know about my rights and whatnot. First off, I don't know if I should take the father to court to set the custody. I have custody of my daughter and have had custody of her since August of last year but not because we went to court or anything, just because the father is no longer living in the household. I am worried that I should take him to court for custody, because I don't know legally what he can do since we have not been to court to establish custody that way. There is a lot that worries me. He hasn't seen our daughter since early February of this year and does not keep in contact, he has actually done everything in his power to avoid me and her especially since I took him out for child support. So, to clarify, my first question is whether or not I need to take him to court over custody and what his rights are as of now with me having not taken him to court.

My second question regards child support. He has two jobs, but one is "under the table" and he claims that he only has one job. He was ordered to pay $102 a month, but he only pays $23.54 a week which amounts to $94.16 a month. This makes me irate, because I feel like past his not seeing our daughter he is also cheating her out of the things she needs. I need to know if there is any way I can have his support increased. Also, I make little to no money, myself, and I need to know if there is any way I can get a lawyer or take him to court based on my low income. I am currently unemployed and we are basically living off of the $23.54 a week plus government aid. I'm just really frustrated, nervous, and depressed over all of this and would greatly appreciate any help. Thank you for your time. Wish me luck.

 

[Duranie]

Why don't you have a full time job? You should not be on government aid for this long. You also have a duty to support your child. You cannot force him to see the child but he has to pay child support. I do not know why he was ordered to pay such a low amount of support. If he is working full time you should be entitled to more Cs but you are not going to be ablee to prove the second job. Until there is an order from the courts you do not have to allow visits. You can take him to court for custody sure but since he doesn't see the child anyways what is the point?

You need to get some type of employment. You probably qualify for child care assistance and you can always take dad back to court for a % of day care of see if family can help you out babysitting while you work.

 

[Shinako]

I am currently seeking employment through the employment security commission and I am going through the steps to receive financial aid with college. There is a lot that goes behind my situation (region, no family help growing up, gas prices affecting job hunt and ability to make it to areas where there are jobs). The best luck you can have around here with jobs is temp or part time employment at minimum wage, so I feel that the best way for me to get a step up is college.

 

[Duranie]

College is a great idea but you are going to at least have to work part time. Lots of people do it and you jave to havesome sort of income except for the small amontof child support you are getting. First things first is goodle your states guide;ines to find out why your ex got an order to pay so little CS. You probably even qualify for legal aid. I would be asking him for 50% of daycare expenses. Even if you pay your mom to babysit that counts.

 

[jesbrumfield69]

i just want to warn u that i was in the same boat and my baby daddy took her and i had to see her on his terms bc there wasnt an order. if u ever feel like he is a threat DO NOT LET HIM GET HIS HANDS ON HER!!! i am still in a custody battle so know u r not alone, its a long long long road. i will b prayn 4 yal. pray for us 2.