Custody,and name changes

[Anna34]

I got a divorce a few years ago. I have 3 children ages 11,10 and 8 with my ex husband. There is no set custody on the children but the live with me and have been for the past 3 years. I lived in North Carolina with my ex husband. I have since moved to pennsylvania with my 3 children. I want to apply for custody of my children. I am unsure if filing for full custody is better for us or revoking my ex husbands parental rights is better. I filed for a protective order for myself and my 3 children against my exhusband during the time of the divorce. I was granted a 1 year for my self and the children in North Carolina. He was making statements to me infront of the children that he was going to burn our house down with us in it. The court gave me temporary custody and my ex husband visitation with supervision. He has not seen the children in 2.5 years, he does not call them,write them or have any contact with them and refuses to. He has filed the children the past 3 years even though they dont live with him. Is it possible to revoke his parent rights based on abandonment? My son who is 10 has my ex husbands first name for a middle name. It upsets him very much and he would like to change it. Is it possible to change the middle name with out involving or getting permission from my ex husband as well. He currently has a child support order threw the courts in NC with me. He is current on his child support. I have since remarried last year. The children would like to have my current husbands last name. If I am able to revoke my ex husbands rights can I change my childrens last names with out affecting their child support. Currently I use the child support on things such as clothing, dance classes for my daughter,karate for my oldest daughter, karate for my son,. I use none of it on houshold expenses. Even though I dont need it really for bills I feel it is owed to the children for years of verbal abuse from their biological father. I thank anyone who can help me with these questions very much.

 

[irish223]

You may be able to terminate his rights, but IMO it will be difficult to prove abandonment since you were the one to move away. Did you have permission from the court or from your ex? If not, it wasn't a good idea to move out of state with the children. Even if he never tried, the move will likely be seen as negatively affecting his visitation.

If you are able to terminate his parental rights, then your husband can adopt and you can change their names. Until then, the father would have to agree.

Also, the child support obligation ends when parental rights are terminated (except for arrearages, which don't apply in your case.)

 

[Anna34]

I got permission from him to move out of state. And permission from him to record the conversation. I have a tape recording of him and I discussing it. He stated on the tape he did not care if I left the state or not as he had no desire to see the children. He also stated he had no time to see the children and that his lifestyle had changed. I also consulted with my lawyer before I left the state. He had 18 months of refusing visitation even though I offered my weekends, and other days, including holidays to him. I recorded phone conversations with him giving me permission on the tapes to do so.

 

[irish223]

If your lawyer okayed it, then ignore the first paragraph of my post. The other 2 paragraphs still apply.

 

[Duranie]

If Dad terminates his rights and your husband adopts them, you can do whatever you want. Doesnt make sense to cry abandonment when you are the one that moved away and asked for a protective order. He pays hild support and you will need his consent for a name change.