This is a complicated and frustrating situation. My husband has primary physical custody of his two children; their mother does have visitation rights. He pays for everything (childcare, healthcare,etc), but is currently taking him back to court to get money for gas when she has the kids (!!!). She was mad because we moved, though it was only a few towns away, and she now has to drive further to bring the kids to school when she has them - even though she has very few child-related expenses.
We fear that she may try to get the custody agreement changed as well. My husband worked very hard to gain custody, and is scared of mother-biased courts. At the time of the custody settlement, the mother was a recovering drug and alcohol addict and had made many questionable and/or irresponsible parenting decisions. She is clean and sober now, and in AA, and also (supposedly) seeking treatment for bipolar disorder.
In all honesty, there was recently an incident where my husband and I got into a fight at our home (unfortunately while the kids were home), and the kids told their mom when they saw her the next day. She talked to the police, and although they determined that the kids were in no immediate danger, we're worried about how this looks. We'll do whatever it takes to make sure it never happens again - take an anger management course, whatever - just to make sure he retains custody.
We believe we're more stable than her - we own our home; we're married; both have good jobs; the kids are in one of the best school systems in the country. Their mother hasn't had a steady job in over a year - probably longer. We want what's best for the kids, and we truly believe that means keeping things the way they are. Their mother sees them at least 3-4 days each week, so it's not like she doesn't have ample access to them.
What factors might a judge consider in determining whether or not to change the existing agreement (i.e. what kinds of extenuating circumstances, changes in situation)? How likely is it that
We fear that she may try to get the custody agreement changed as well. My husband worked very hard to gain custody, and is scared of mother-biased courts. At the time of the custody settlement, the mother was a recovering drug and alcohol addict and had made many questionable and/or irresponsible parenting decisions. She is clean and sober now, and in AA, and also (supposedly) seeking treatment for bipolar disorder.
In all honesty, there was recently an incident where my husband and I got into a fight at our home (unfortunately while the kids were home), and the kids told their mom when they saw her the next day. She talked to the police, and although they determined that the kids were in no immediate danger, we're worried about how this looks. We'll do whatever it takes to make sure it never happens again - take an anger management course, whatever - just to make sure he retains custody.
We believe we're more stable than her - we own our home; we're married; both have good jobs; the kids are in one of the best school systems in the country. Their mother hasn't had a steady job in over a year - probably longer. We want what's best for the kids, and we truly believe that means keeping things the way they are. Their mother sees them at least 3-4 days each week, so it's not like she doesn't have ample access to them.
What factors might a judge consider in determining whether or not to change the existing agreement (i.e. what kinds of extenuating circumstances, changes in situation)? How likely is it that
Last edited:
