Concerned Father

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VeryConcerned14 said:
I have joint custody of my daughters, their mother has a boyfriend who she is making my daughters call dad. Is she allowed to do that?
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She's neither allowed or prohibited.
If it concerns you, you'll have to tell it to the judge.
Good luck.
 
Courts take this up all the time it tends to fall under parental alienation. Bring this up to other parent and if not resolved then take it to court.
 
This falls under the heading of what is called co-parenting. First discuss the issue with her as an adult. If you are not satisfied, seek a court court order prohibiting the action. You could even try for one forbidding overnight guests of the opposite sex or any sex.
 
army judge said:
She's neither allowed or prohibited.
If it concerns you, you'll have to tell it to the judge.
Good luck.
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Thank you everyone. I'm trying to ignore the nonsense because she is trying to make me take her to court to spend money on attorneys and court fees. My ex had started her nonsense when she found out I was engaged to my current wife and it got worse when we got married. She is constantly talking bad about me to my daughters, she constantly harasses me about very petty things. Does it ever end???
 
The court can order the other parent to not undermine your relationship with child. Will it ever stop? When your EX (and possibly you) let go of your anger over the failed relationship yes
 
Yes it does show that in the court order but she still does it . Last year she even kept the kids on my weekend a couple of times and I made the police reports but it seems like nothing happens . She continues to play her games with my kids and it seems like never ending. I mentioned it to my lawyer and hers and all they did was advise her she can't do that but nothing was done. Now I see when I get my kids she is micromanaging them when they are at my home. She sends them text messages telling them to ask me for all kinds of things she wants me to buy them. I just don't know what to do. It seems like she is just harassing me for no reason sometimes just to annoy my wife.
 
VeryConcerned14 said:
Yes it does show that in the court order but she still does it . Last year she even kept the kids on my weekend a couple of times and I made the police reports but it seems like nothing happens . She continues to play her games with my kids and it seems like never ending. I mentioned it to my lawyer and hers and all they did was advise her she can't do that but nothing was done. Now I see when I get my kids she is micromanaging them when they are at my home. She sends them text messages telling them to ask me for all kinds of things she wants me to buy them. I just don't know what to do. It seems like she is just harassing me for no reason sometimes just to annoy my wife.
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Your best bet is let the kids receive the text messages, don't interfere with that.
If the kids ask for a doll or a plastic car (whatever kids ask for these days, LOL), you decide whether to buy it.
After all, they're your kids and you love them, but its your call, pops.
As far as her shenanigans, grin and bear, don't let her even suspect it annoys you.
You could pursue this, but it'll make a big man (and a guy trying to be a good dad) look small before a judge and your kids.
If you ignore these little things, she'll eventually stop.
Remember, there were very clear and convincing reasons you wanted a divorce.
Just keep doing you and being a better dad each and every day.
Trust me, the kids see through now, or one day they will, that's the day it'll all prove worthwhile.
 
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"It seems like she is just harassing me for no reason sometimes just to annoy my wife." People do it all the time and there is very little you can do except hope and pray that she will grow up. Kids are smarter than people give them credit for and her actions will alienate the children from herself. In the meantime, reassure your kids that you are their real Dad and don't play the same kind of games. Give them your time, love and affection.
 
I have tried it's like a plague. It's been going on for 4 years now. And Ofcourse I am a good father I do my part. I don't even interfere that her boyfriend lives with her or anything. My daughter is the one that brought up she is being told to call her mother's bf dad but her mother wouldn't like it if my daughter were to call my wife mom. It seems when my kids come over they are brain washed to misbehave and are cold to my wife but then when they leave they are ok but then it starts all over again. I've talked to them and they have cried that their mother talks bad about me but it just seems like nothing can be done.
 
You are the parent. You set the standard for acceptable behavior in your home. You can't make the kids like your wife but you can expect they treat her and all other adults respectfully. If they misbehave, you deal with it like a parent. You don't use your ex as an excuse for poor behavior nor do you let the kids use this as an excuse.

If your ex violates the custody agreement, you take her to court. You don't call the police and waste their time. They are not employed to settle your marital disputes.
 
I do my parenting. What I am saying is that everything I do with my kids when I have them gets completely lost when they come back from their mother. It seems she is confusing them. Yes we have went to court and spent thousands in attorney and court fees. No I never called the police because of this. The only time I filed police reports and had the police go to her house is to get my kids on my days that I am supposed to have them. She has hid my kids from me 3 times last year. I didn't even get them on my holiday either. I don't call the police for petty issues to waste their time. I was advised to file police reports so when I do take her to court for these actions everything is documented.
 
As I said I do my part. She is the one with the issues. It seems she is doing stuff on purpose so I can take her to court and spend another $6000 on nothing. It's obvious she started this ever since I got remarried. We have been divorced for seven years. Things were not like this before I was remarried.
 
Ok maybe I missed my point. I understand this is or you believe its all her fault I get it. You take issues to court and even ask for costs if you can. In mean time you and her both need to learn to "co-parent". The court will likely order you both attend and show proof you completed parenting classes
 
I completely understand that about the coparenting. it just seems the only way to take care of this is constant paying out attorneys and court fees. It is not something I want to do again. Last year I spent over $6000 on this and right after she started her crap again.
 
Bad behavior, bad manners, spite, immaturity etc are impossible to legislate. No matter what is said or done in court or in writing, no one can prevent her from telling the kids whatever she wants to in private. How are you going to prove it. And if the judge says you cannot say xyz to your children, then she will say abc. For example, if you get the judge to tell her she cannot make the kids call someone else "Dad", then she can just make the kids call him "Papa, or Father." She'll find a way around. What people here are suggesting is that you just need to try your best to counteract her behavior as best you can. It stinks and it's very sad for the children. But again, you can't legislate immaturity.
 
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