To whom may be reading this,
My name is Jan and I live in Florida. I have 2 children(ages 18 and 17), I was forced to move here to llive with my parents because of a previous breakup that left me broke and broken.My children decided to stay behind with their father, at the time I still had custody of my son(my daughter had gone to live with him yrs prior), I was promised as long as I do not press for anymore suport, he would not ask for anything from me,that between his pay and now the extra 1,000 per month back the kids would be well taken care of. Well, I am very sadned to say that Has Not been the case.
IN the last few years I have been diagnosed with medical condtions that make me unable to work or at least not enough to support myself and pay child support ordred. The promise that was made to me was broken about 4-5 yrs ago, I was taken to court and My ex husband was awarded 400hundred a month support. He had told me right up until we walked in te court room that he was only going to ask for 50 dollars a month ,which would be enough to help with their school lunch money, I said absolutely, I can and will do that, byt I cannot afford anymore.Well to my surprise, he asked for whatever he could and because I couldn't provide documentation(at that particuar time) about my medical conditions, he was awarded the amount. The judje took it upon himself to calculate what a waitress makes in atlantic city(i did not work in the city) and has it that I would be making 400hundred in salary PLUS tips, there is NO waitress job that pays that much an hour,so I left there ordered to pay a lump sum within 2 weeks, I managed to make it in 1 month.Now that I have moved to florida, the order for support was of course sent down here to the child support disbbursment unit, to whom I have been making my payments to , but only 100hundrd per month, I had my license suspended a few months back due to al the arrears and now I was just sent a warrent for my arrest from Nj. I MUST tell you that my ex IS NOT supporting the neccessities to my children, he makes well over 800hundred or more per week and never has food in the house, and now all utilities are turned off except electric. My son called me crying because he was hungry and felt guilty doing it because he knew it would make his father mad, I immediately sent him food to the house from a pizza place to get him something right away and then my mother and I spent over 200hundred sending non-perishible food to their house which has been the only food in their house for over 2 months.he does not take them to the doctors, dentists,hair cuts,etc, and their clothes are so old and dirty that they look like they are dressed from good will. My mother sends them money as much as possible, and has been the one giving me the 100hundred to send each month, now, with this warrent I need to know that if all the arreaers are paid(i owe over 6,000.00), will they suspend the warrent and re issue my drivers license? In order to pay anything , my mother will have to take out a loan to help me, my father has since died and my mom is very limited finacially, but has what she needs to survive and if necessary, to have my children live with us. I have just within the last month started a work from home job selling gourmet candles, it is not going well, I had a customer stiff me on payment of 500hundred which was money I was planning to send as child support. I can't stress enough how much I love my children and what a horrible father they have. the kids are with him for one reason...he lets them do whatever they want, and my daughter is in desperate need of councleing and or medication, I belive she is Bi-polar, as is her father. He will not address her emotional issues and therefore she is left struggling and has basiclly given up on her future and she is only 18.I want my kids with me more than anything in this world!! The love and attention thay get from me and my mom is so much more and more important than the reason they are staying with their father.I cannot convince them to give it a chance by moving here. I was told he threatned them that if they left to come here that they could NEVER go back!! he has corrupted their mind and has involved them in ALL this court and fighting and threats and police etc, now they are afraid to say anything to me and will never go against their father because of his theats. I have wanted to get d.yf.s. involved many times but my kids told me they would never forgive me,but now, with all that is happening at that house I as a mother have to protect my children and any cost.They were just here for a week visit in july and wanted to stay longer but their father forbided them too. I was told I better send them home with school clothes because he can't afford any. I would have gotten them clothes anyway. I had gotten more done for them in one week than he does in a year. they got clothes, haircuts, shoes, school supplies etc, and if they stayed long enough, they could have gone to the dentist and doctors.
So, to end this endless drama, I am asking, if my mother gets this loan, and pays the entire amount owed, do I have to go to jersey as the paper from the sheffis dept states, and will it suspend the warrent and will i get my license returned? then , I need to apply for a reduction in support, because I will only wind up back in thi s position if they won't lower the amount. My mother has letter to every doctor I see, hospital, etc, that she is my sole sourse of support, and I am sure she will write it for the courts as well. I am in need of 3 different surgeries, plus i also suffer for clinical depression and anxiety.I am hoping that one of my doctor's will write a letter stating I am unable to work, but here in florida, it is very hard if not impossible to get any assistance, disability, medicaid ,etc. I have tried, and if I don't qualify, who does?? I would do anything for my children and it makes me sick that I can't go out and get the job(s) I need to make enough money, so I am doing what I can, as usual, I haven't been given the chance to make enough withthe candle sales before I recieved this notice. the notice states...I must go to the court clerks office to take care of this matter, well, I live in florida and if I had the money to go there, I would have used it to make a payment, and second, theyhave to somehow understand or make arrangements for people that live out of state.AM I right or wrong?
I thank you for taking the time to rewad my story, I know ,it a bute, but very serious, I just need to know that I will be ok if I pay and , will they expect the entire amount of arrears? ANy help/info you can provide would mean the world to me. I am a good person and a great mom, I just got handed a rawl deal, twice and then became ill, I can't help my situation, but I love my babies and want this to all go away , and try to make the best out of what I have, and hopefully some day have my children with me again. This is a mean, vindictive,manipulative, spitefull man and he is making it impossible for me to have a relationship with my kids and now , even if I could work, I don't have a license to get to work.
Thank you so much and I look forward to hearing back from you!!
Sincerely,
Jan Fichetola
the court orderd my ex that he is not to say anything despariging against me, name calling,etc, he is not abiding by that and has now made it a normal way of life for them, that it's ok to speak to a parent in such a way. that is totally unacceptable!!
My name is Jan and I live in Florida. I have 2 children(ages 18 and 17), I was forced to move here to llive with my parents because of a previous breakup that left me broke and broken.My children decided to stay behind with their father, at the time I still had custody of my son(my daughter had gone to live with him yrs prior), I was promised as long as I do not press for anymore suport, he would not ask for anything from me,that between his pay and now the extra 1,000 per month back the kids would be well taken care of. Well, I am very sadned to say that Has Not been the case.
IN the last few years I have been diagnosed with medical condtions that make me unable to work or at least not enough to support myself and pay child support ordred. The promise that was made to me was broken about 4-5 yrs ago, I was taken to court and My ex husband was awarded 400hundred a month support. He had told me right up until we walked in te court room that he was only going to ask for 50 dollars a month ,which would be enough to help with their school lunch money, I said absolutely, I can and will do that, byt I cannot afford anymore.Well to my surprise, he asked for whatever he could and because I couldn't provide documentation(at that particuar time) about my medical conditions, he was awarded the amount. The judje took it upon himself to calculate what a waitress makes in atlantic city(i did not work in the city) and has it that I would be making 400hundred in salary PLUS tips, there is NO waitress job that pays that much an hour,so I left there ordered to pay a lump sum within 2 weeks, I managed to make it in 1 month.Now that I have moved to florida, the order for support was of course sent down here to the child support disbbursment unit, to whom I have been making my payments to , but only 100hundrd per month, I had my license suspended a few months back due to al the arrears and now I was just sent a warrent for my arrest from Nj. I MUST tell you that my ex IS NOT supporting the neccessities to my children, he makes well over 800hundred or more per week and never has food in the house, and now all utilities are turned off except electric. My son called me crying because he was hungry and felt guilty doing it because he knew it would make his father mad, I immediately sent him food to the house from a pizza place to get him something right away and then my mother and I spent over 200hundred sending non-perishible food to their house which has been the only food in their house for over 2 months.he does not take them to the doctors, dentists,hair cuts,etc, and their clothes are so old and dirty that they look like they are dressed from good will. My mother sends them money as much as possible, and has been the one giving me the 100hundred to send each month, now, with this warrent I need to know that if all the arreaers are paid(i owe over 6,000.00), will they suspend the warrent and re issue my drivers license? In order to pay anything , my mother will have to take out a loan to help me, my father has since died and my mom is very limited finacially, but has what she needs to survive and if necessary, to have my children live with us. I have just within the last month started a work from home job selling gourmet candles, it is not going well, I had a customer stiff me on payment of 500hundred which was money I was planning to send as child support. I can't stress enough how much I love my children and what a horrible father they have. the kids are with him for one reason...he lets them do whatever they want, and my daughter is in desperate need of councleing and or medication, I belive she is Bi-polar, as is her father. He will not address her emotional issues and therefore she is left struggling and has basiclly given up on her future and she is only 18.I want my kids with me more than anything in this world!! The love and attention thay get from me and my mom is so much more and more important than the reason they are staying with their father.I cannot convince them to give it a chance by moving here. I was told he threatned them that if they left to come here that they could NEVER go back!! he has corrupted their mind and has involved them in ALL this court and fighting and threats and police etc, now they are afraid to say anything to me and will never go against their father because of his theats. I have wanted to get d.yf.s. involved many times but my kids told me they would never forgive me,but now, with all that is happening at that house I as a mother have to protect my children and any cost.They were just here for a week visit in july and wanted to stay longer but their father forbided them too. I was told I better send them home with school clothes because he can't afford any. I would have gotten them clothes anyway. I had gotten more done for them in one week than he does in a year. they got clothes, haircuts, shoes, school supplies etc, and if they stayed long enough, they could have gone to the dentist and doctors.
So, to end this endless drama, I am asking, if my mother gets this loan, and pays the entire amount owed, do I have to go to jersey as the paper from the sheffis dept states, and will it suspend the warrent and will i get my license returned? then , I need to apply for a reduction in support, because I will only wind up back in thi s position if they won't lower the amount. My mother has letter to every doctor I see, hospital, etc, that she is my sole sourse of support, and I am sure she will write it for the courts as well. I am in need of 3 different surgeries, plus i also suffer for clinical depression and anxiety.I am hoping that one of my doctor's will write a letter stating I am unable to work, but here in florida, it is very hard if not impossible to get any assistance, disability, medicaid ,etc. I have tried, and if I don't qualify, who does?? I would do anything for my children and it makes me sick that I can't go out and get the job(s) I need to make enough money, so I am doing what I can, as usual, I haven't been given the chance to make enough withthe candle sales before I recieved this notice. the notice states...I must go to the court clerks office to take care of this matter, well, I live in florida and if I had the money to go there, I would have used it to make a payment, and second, theyhave to somehow understand or make arrangements for people that live out of state.AM I right or wrong?
I thank you for taking the time to rewad my story, I know ,it a bute, but very serious, I just need to know that I will be ok if I pay and , will they expect the entire amount of arrears? ANy help/info you can provide would mean the world to me. I am a good person and a great mom, I just got handed a rawl deal, twice and then became ill, I can't help my situation, but I love my babies and want this to all go away , and try to make the best out of what I have, and hopefully some day have my children with me again. This is a mean, vindictive,manipulative, spitefull man and he is making it impossible for me to have a relationship with my kids and now , even if I could work, I don't have a license to get to work.
Thank you so much and I look forward to hearing back from you!!
Sincerely,
Jan Fichetola
the court orderd my ex that he is not to say anything despariging against me, name calling,etc, he is not abiding by that and has now made it a normal way of life for them, that it's ok to speak to a parent in such a way. that is totally unacceptable!!
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