Child Legal Name Change

[Williamd]

I divorced from my wife 9 years ago. We have two children (age 14 and 10)My ex-wife remarried then divorced her second husband after 6 months. She was pregnant when she divorced him. Her child with him is now 4 years old. About five months before I remarried, my ex started using my last name again. I do not believe she legally changed it, I still pay may child support to her under her last married name. I heard she was trying to change her youngest child's last name to MY last name (so this child will "match" last names with my two children). I have not seen any publication of name change intent in our local newspaper, but tonight - at a church Christmas program -- my ex's youngest child was listed in the program with my last name. Is she legally able to use my last name and is she legally able to call her youngest child by my last name? I am very much opposed to this and so is my new wife. My ex was convicted of a felony embezzlement during the last year of our marriage. Last year she plead guilty to a misdemeanor charge of truancy/child educational neglect. She dragged my name through the mud once already. Her picture and name was all over our local news in our very small community. I was glad when she remarried, moved away and was no longer linked to me in my community. Now she is back. I want nothing to do with her! I only want to have my kids in my life. Can she legally start using my name? Can she give my last name to a child I am not the father of & never will have as part of my life or family? Having her last name as mine and the same as my children implies to the community that I am her father. This is completely false! Please help us! We would value your advice.

 

[Duranie]

I am not sure there is anything you can do to keep her from using your name or giving the child your name. The child though should have the last name of the father, or whatever last name mom was using at the time of birth. Does this father know she is changing the childs name? I know it must be a hassle to tell everyone that is not your child but you might want to talk to an attorney to see if anything can be done to keep her from doing it.

 

[Williamd]

Thank you for responding. The child has had her father's last name since birth. As far as we know, the father pays child support but will have nothing to do with the child (which is very sad) because he hates my ex-wife and wants nothing to do with her either. We believe that her father would not oppose a name change, because he doesn't acknowledge the child. It just doesn't seem right that she could take my last name back and then change her childs name, so they all "match". I would think it would be more confusing to this little girl as she grows up. I would think that she will feel bad as she gets older, probably wondering why she never came to "Dad's house" for visitation like her older sister's did and probably wonder why "Dad didn't love her as he loved her two sisters". Seems as if it would be confusing that she uses my last name but I am not even related to her nor have any kind of relationship with her or her mother.

 

[Williamd]

Is there any more advice on this question? We are really hoping to find out how we can keep her from using our last name for a child that is not related in any way to us.

 

[WhirledPeas]

It's an unusual question. I think you're out of luck though. The only two people that can choose a child's name in this case are her parents. Names aren't copyrighted, typically. I could change my son's name to Elvis Jr. if I wanted to and my ex agreed.

 

[Williamd]

It's an unusual question. I think you're out of luck though. The only two people that can choose a child's name in this case are her parents. Names aren't copyrighted, typically. I could change my son's name to Elvis Jr. if I wanted to and my ex agreed.

Thank you for your insight. Yes this is an unusual question. I was really hoping that we could legally block her from doing this. Do you think I should contact the child's father (who lives in another town) and inform him that she's calling his daughter by my last name - as if she is mine (hoping he will say "no way") -- or should I just let it go and proceed to explain to everyone that this child is not mine and my ex is just "different"? I wish their was some kind of copyright on a name. The way I view it: A man only has his good name. This name is passed on through generations. When you marry, you share it with the woman you love. When you have children, you pass it on to your own children. It seems a shame that if someone takes your good name, smears that name in the media, has an affair then chooses to leave with your children, takes another man's good name, and years later decides she wants the world to think she is somehow connected to her first husband --it's a shame. She is the person who chose not to be married to me. In my mind, she chose not to be known as my wife with my last name. It just doesn't seem that she has the right to call herself by my last name, as if we are still connected somehow. My views may not seem important to anyone else, but given all of the frustration and crazy behavior she has pulled over the last 9 years, I am really having a hard time with the latest antics.