Child Custody

[ADSHEPPARD]

My husband and I have joint custody of his two girls, ages 7 and 13. Our house is the house where they get discipline. They are supposed to have visitation with their mother, but the 13 year old never goes there, instead she goes and stays with her 28 year old sister, who lets her do anything and everything she wants. The 28 lets her date (13 year old has already "made-out" with a 17 year old boy) and the older sister does not seem to think that is a problem. She also drinks and smokes, goes out etc when she is with her. The 7 year old is dropped off at her grandparents house by the older sister.. 7 year old never sees them until Sunday when it is time for them to come back to our house...

My question is, we live in Alabama and the 13 year old has decided that she wants to move in with her older sister. The older sister has a very bad reputation (sexually) and usually has a different guy living with her every six months to a year. The 13 year old, when she comes home from her sisters, is near impossible to be around, smart mouth attitude etc. She is becoming a compulsive liar. She lies about everything now, even when you know she is and confront her, she goes nuts!!!!

My husband and I do everything for these girls. Their mother only pays $70 a month child support and does nothing more.

Any help with this would be GRATEFULLY appreciated!!! We are about at our wits end... I am afraid of what she might lie about to try to convince whoever for the reasons she wants to live there other than the obvious no rules situation. 13 year old or 7 year old have never been spanked, abused in any way at our house but they are disciplined, grounded, no TV, etc.

PLease help!!!!!!

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

No judge in any state will allow a 13 year old to decide where they want to live.

Since it appears the father is concerned about this living situation, what has he done to avoid the 13 year old going to stay with the 28 year old (you cannot do anything as you are considered to be a legal stranger in this situation)?

Gail

 

[ADSHEPPARD]

He claims he does not like it, but cannot do anything about it.. I honestly think he does not want the confrontation. He has a problem sometimes with discipline and usually I am the one doing it, sometimes without his back up. He has been told by another lawyer that since he has the main custody, that he does have control of where she goes and when she goes, etc.

 

[WhirledPeas]

So there you have it. You've got a husband who will knowingly let his 13 y.o. enter an unsafe sexual situation because his interest in avoiding confrontation takes precedence. Meanwhile, you have no legal rights.

Providing literature regarding the penalties for statutory rape to your older step-daughter and husband might get some attention.

Seriously consider whether or not you'd like this man to father your own children.