This is my situation. I am 18 and my ex-girlfriend had our baby 1 month ago. I was at the birth and signed the birth certificate. We have had visitation issues so I have already went to court and file the paper work for paternity and order to show cause. We go to court on April 1st. My question is I am on probation for a fight I got into and a juvenille dui I got almost 1 year ago when I was 17 and before she was pregnant. Since then I have gotten in no trouble and am almost done with all of the required programs for the offenses. Her mother is telling her I will not get any visitation or rights because I am on probabation. I was wondering if anyone knows if that is true. I love my son and have done everything right since the day I knew she was pregnant. Any help would be appreciated. I don't have the money for a lawyer so I have been searching websites for advice. Thanks in advance.
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Child custody
- Thread Starter daddy0927
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This is my situation. I am 18 and my ex-girlfriend had our baby 1 month ago. I was at the birth and signed the birth certificate. We have had visitation issues so I have already went to court and file the paper work for paternity and order to show cause. We go to court on April 1st. My question is I am on probation for a fight I got into and a juvenille dui I got almost 1 year ago when I was 17 and before she was pregnant. Since then I have gotten in no trouble and am almost done with all of the required programs for the offenses. Her mother is telling her I will not get any visitation or rights because I am on probabation. I was wondering if anyone knows if that is true. I love my son and have done everything right since the day I knew she was pregnant. Any help would be appreciated. I don't have the money for a lawyer so I have been searching websites for advice. Thanks in advance.
You didn't list you state so that you could get state specific advice...but I will say that I don't know of any state that would deny visitation in your situation. If the mother of the child was aware of your past and still chose you to be daddy of her child, she really can't use your past to prevent visitation/custody.
Please make sure you file for joint custody and joint LEGAL custody. Joint Legal will give you equal say in matters pertaining to your child, such as Medical and Education.
Stop listening to mom and her mom. You might get supervised visits for a while, that is normal with an unmarried couple and a newborn. Plus you hve no parenting experience.
Can your parents help you with an attorney at all? It would be better to have one but you might want to google some fathers rights groups in your area for advice. Also I would be signing up for parenting classes. That will help you too. Start googling them.
Can your parents help you with an attorney at all? It would be better to have one but you might want to google some fathers rights groups in your area for advice. Also I would be signing up for parenting classes. That will help you too. Start googling them.
I live in california and I did file for joint physical and joint legal custody. I know I will probably not gt over night visits for awhile. I just want to be able to see my baby without his mother telling me she will bring him and then doesn't and using him against me when she wants to. I really don't understand why me not having parenting experience matters. I know it does but it is still unfair. The baby's mother did not have any parenting experience either. It really is not fair to fathers.
ohiogranny
New Member
With unmarried parents who are not together, the graduated visits are more a means to get dad and baby to know each other. Try to aim for short, frequent visits to establish the bond.
Do take a parenting class and possibly infant CPR. Court aside, both are good to have.
And kudos for being such a responsible (young) parent.
Do take a parenting class and possibly infant CPR. Court aside, both are good to have.
And kudos for being such a responsible (young) parent.
ohiogranny
New Member
Call the courthouse and ask them. She may not know she has to respond but it's up to her to find out.
I can't believe this is happening. The babies mom brought the baby over yesterday for about a half hour. She went home and called the cops and said I pushed her, which I didn't. I did not touch her at all!! The police came over did not arrest me but took my statement and said they would submit it to the district attorney and they would review it. . There is nothing on her because I did not touch her. Can she seriously just accuse me of this with no proof. I am really concerned because the court date is in a monty and I know she is doing this to make it harder for me to get visitation.
I can't believe this is happening. The babies mom brought the baby over yesterday for about a half hour. She went home and called the cops and said I pushed her, which I didn't. I did not touch her at all!! The police came over did not arrest me but took my statement and said they would submit it to the district attorney and they would review it. . There is nothing on her because I did not touch her. Can she seriously just accuse me of this with no proof. I am really concerned because the court date is in a monty and I know she is doing this to make it harder for me to get visitation.
I know an attorney/GAL and a family court clerk (California) from another legal board...I have asked them to come here to advise you.
Try posting your situation on this site:
http://forum.freeadvice.com/register.php
Perhaps they will have some additional advice to offer you...
http://forum.freeadvice.com/register.php
Perhaps they will have some additional advice to offer you...
Thank you. I am devastated over all of this and now I was served with a temporary restraining order and not onlyis she saying waht she said last week butis saying I acted violently during her pergnancy and would not let her leave my house on numerous occasions.. I can not believe someone can get away with just lying and making things up. I am getting alot of witness statements that she was at my house 90% of the time and coming and going freely. I just can not believe all of this. All I wanted was to be a father to my son.
ohiogranny
New Member
When you have your hearing to dispute this, don't just take statements/affidavits from your witnesses - subpeona them to appear in court. You can't cross-examine a piece of paper. And make sure you mention that this came about right after you filed for your rights. You can mention this in your custody case too. It will not look good for her.
When you get your parenting time, make sure to take someone with you as a witness, or ask the court to order that the exchanges take place in public or a local police station, to prevent these kind of allegations being made.
When you get your parenting time, make sure to take someone with you as a witness, or ask the court to order that the exchanges take place in public or a local police station, to prevent these kind of allegations being made.
Thank you. I am devastated over all of this and now I was served with a temporary restraining order and not onlyis she saying waht she said last week butis saying I acted violently during her pergnancy and would not let her leave my house on numerous occasions.. I can not believe someone can get away with just lying and making things up. I am getting alot of witness statements that she was at my house 90% of the time and coming and going freely. I just can not believe all of this. All I wanted was to be a father to my son.
You are very Welcome!! I really do recommend that site for child custody...There is an incredible Attorney/GAL along with many other Professionals of the Family Court System.
Your situation reminds me of a "woman" (and I use that word loosely!) that was determined to limit her child's father from having any quality time with their child. She was posting under numerous names, from varying states, to see where she could move to that would have the most restrictive NCP time.
I could peg her "style" of writing and would alert other members to not respond...The child's father stumbled onto the site and recognized one of the user names and started P.M.ing me...Many of the members gave him advice and direction.
Today he has full custody of his daughter and Mom is MIA...She was arrested in a motel room for assaulting her common-law husband (in front of the 2 year old child) and after a short court hearing, Dad was awarded full custody and permission to take the child to his home state.
People that behave in this way mostly self-destruct...Your job is to perceiver so that you can be there for your child so that Mom doesn't destroy the child's life as well...
Try the other site...And the best of luck to you!!
Bay
Thank you for all the help. I have not had a chance to join and write about the situation on the othe we site but I have read thru it. I filed all of the paperwork for a response today. Plus, she keeps calling me!! I am not talking to her and she calls and lets the baby cry on the phone!! I really wish there was a way I could prove it.
Okay my question is tomorrow will be 30 days from when I filed the court and she was served. I still have not gotten anything from her. I am suppose to be served with the court papers when she responds to the court right??
Okay my question is tomorrow will be 30 days from when I filed the court and she was served. I still have not gotten anything from her. I am suppose to be served with the court papers when she responds to the court right??
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