Child Custody

[KrimsonDiva]

My husband and I want to gain custody of his daughter because she is not living in the most desirable conditions. We are really concerned about her lifestyle and academics. Our funding is low and we want to know the most effective and affordable route to take.

 

[irish223]

The most affordable is to do it yourself, pro se. The most effective is to retain a lawyer.

Check online for your state's code and court procedure. There may be forms available online, as well. If not, you will have to visit the court house.

Keep in mind that in order to change a custody order, you will have to prove a significant change in circumstance that affects the best interests of the child. Better living conditions will usually not qualify.

 

[KrimsonDiva]

Thanks IRISH223. There are a lot of factors that weigh heavy on this situation. That was just a couple of issues. Have you seen any success with those that decide to do it themselves?

 

[jacksgal]

If your going to do this pro se then start documenting stuff now. Dont document petty things as judge is just going to frown at you. You might seek a consultatin with an Attorney some grant free intial consultations

 

[KrimsonDiva]

What types of things do we document? (Just so I can have an idea) What advice would you someone that wants to do it on their own? (Other than documenting) Are certain things that we need to know?

 

[jacksgal]

I really cant say as I do not know what is going on. Anything you feel is abusive, neglectful would fit. Complaining that CP drives a Volkswagon and you drive BMR wont fly. What is it that undesiriable and is it harmful to the child?

 

[KrimsonDiva]

There are many times when she does not have food to eat. She is left alone by herself or with other small children. Her physical and medical needs are not always met. Just to name a few.

 

[jacksgal]

Depending on her age being left alone or watchiing younger siblings may not be issue but others are. Start documentiing

 

[KrimsonDiva]

She is under 11 and has been left with children that range from 4 to 1 month. Only one of the 4 children was a sibling. Is that something that to worry about?

 

[irish223]

You can document her school attendance, talk to her teachers about your concerns, take her to the doctor, etc. If she doesn't get her regular medical and dental exams, document that (and take her yourself). It's hard to prove that she isn't getting regular meals, but you can always note things she says in a journal. If she isn't kept clean, her teachers can tell you about that too.

Be very careful that you don't ASK her about any of your concerns. Just document what she tells you.

Also, this is really not any of your business, legally. Don't get involved, other than to make notes. This is between your husband and his ex. Judges frown on step-parents who overstep.

 

[KrimsonDiva]

Thanks Irish223. I know exactly where I stand in this. I am not trying to overstep my bounds. I am here to support him in any way (mentally, physically and spiritually) that I can. I am trying to gather information for him to use as he is going through this process. I know that this is between he and his ex and at the same time, I'm not going to let him go through this alone either.

I will make sure that he does those things that you all have recommended and continue looking for a reputable attorney.