child custody in California

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lovinglife

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California

One child, age two years and three months. Father signed an AOP at the hospital. Was not involved until 21 months old. Has begun to see child between 12 to 20 hours per week. He lives about 40 minutes aways without traffic.

Recently began to threaten court (which is fine.) He says that he is going to get one or two full days during the week and weekend time as well. The thing is that he works full time about 1 1/2 hours away from his house. He does work from home somethimes but it is not an all the time thing. I am a SAHM and attend school at night. He wants our child at his house during the day so that his girlfriend can spend time with our child =(. Obviously I am not ok with that. So a couple of q's?

1) Is he likely to get full days during the week even though he is working?

I fear that he will lie and say he always works from home on certain days so he can have our child during the day when in reality he wont be there and even if he is he will be working and the GF will be caring for the child. I don't mind him having a midweek visit when he is done with work.

2) Is it likely that I can have a very strong no third party interference placed into the parenting plan? Also that the father must do the pick up and drop off and no people besides blood family members can be present during pick up and drop off unless mutually agreed upon?

The father has no family in the state. The reason that I ask is because his GF is a constant problem. I call to check on our son and she starts screaming at me in the background. Calling me names and saying that my child is her's, etc. Our child comes home saying ***** hates mommy. Our childs father allows that and says that our child has two mothers and I need to get use to that. Of course I have no hard proof of this. I can only imagine how she would act during pick up and drop offs.

Thank you!!!!!
 
Well, one of the pains of divorce or having a child with someone who you aren't married to is dealing with the new love interest. Unfortunately if she isn't violent or unfit, you are going to have to put up with it to a certain extent.

Even the point of "having 2 mommies" while that is a horrible concept to the natural Mom it is in fact true that when your child is over there, she is going to be a step mom to your child. Now all of this doesn't mean you are defenseless.

First, make it clear to the court that there has been verbal fighting between you and the GF. If she is unfit, show it, but just being the girlfriend won't do that. The judge can make an order that there be no violent displays around the child and that no one is to speak ill of the other around the child. You can't of the father or gf and they can't of you. It is possible that pick ups can be limited to blood relatives but it isn't likely that a judge will bar the gf from being there.

A Judge will make it clear that if the GF is confrontational, especially in front of the child, that he/she will do something about it.

Go in with the idea that you are going to make peace with the situation unless there is a danger to your child. If the judge sees that your attitude is peaceful and theirs isn't, your case will get much stronger.

You need a child support order, and a very strong parenting plan/exchange order. I would engage an attorney, it will be very much worth the money.
 
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