Can I give up one child and keep the other?

[D3xica08]

Can I willingly give up parental rights to one of my children without risking the other one?
My youngest teenage daughter has just become too much to handle. She is disrespectful, ignorant, mean, rude and has recently been arrested for shoplifting. I've been doing my best to work with her for years. We've been in and out of counseling since 2003 with no change. It is beginning to affect my physical health now. I have headaches a lot, always nervous and on the verge of tears. It has stressed me to the point of vomitting blood on more than a few occassions. I'm a single mother and paternity was never established for my youngest daughter, so the fathers rights will not come into question. My concern is that my older daughter will be taken too if I admit that I can no longer deal with the youngest one.

 

[Duranie]

so where is the youngest daughter going to go when you abandon her? Are you going to make her a ward of the state? What you are describing is part of being a parent. You do not dump your child because you no longer can handle them. have you spoke to social services to see what options you have in getting her into perhaps maybe a boot camp for troubled teenagers? I suggest you start googling options in your state instead of terminating your rights. You have not stated where this child is going to do once you do that.

 

[jacksgal]

Children are not items to be discarded when they no longer work as you want! This could easily blow up in your face and cause problems keeping other child! It also sends a very unpleasant message to remaining child. What you need is what Duraine describes. You dont take out your children like the garbage!

 

[D3xica08]

more indepth explanation

By the way your reply reads it seems you need some background before you go passing judgement on me like I'm trying to 'abandon' my child. This girl has the ability to make completely sane people lose control. She has absolutely no respect for me as her mother or as a human being. She has made it clear that I am nothing to her but a place to live and eat. I have tried every 'legal' kind of punishment. Grounding doesn't work, because as soon as I go to work she is out of the house and doesn't come home until 8 or 9 o'clock at night. I have taken away every electronic device she owns. All she has in her room is her bed and clothes. There isn't anything else I can take away. She is manipulative and vengeful. She has threatened that if I spank her she will call the cops and tell them I abuse her. There is no fear for her, she knows I can't do anything more to her. She is obsessive and demanding. On the occassion that I attempt to go out to the movies or visit my boyfriend at his house she will purposely get stranded somewhere after dark or forget her key at home when she leaves (without permission) so that I have to come home. If I don't she threatens to call the police and tell them that I refuse, which can be seen as neglect.
She ridicules and demeans both me and her sister. She is constantly calling us fat, ugly, stupid bitches. She doesn't clean up after herself or contribute to the family in any way. She has even threatened to stab me in my sleep so I have put a lock on my bedroom door to make sure she can't get in at night. She hasn't gotten physically abusive yet, but with the steady progression of verbal and emotional abuse toward me and her sister it could only be a matter of time.
Her recent trouble with the law isn't her first, but they let her off easy with 25 hours of community service. She has had 2 assault charges in the past but they were both dropped, once for attending counseling and the other because we moved. I have consulted the local agencies including Protective Services. They advised the same thing, that it would be considered abandonment. But what about her sister and I? Are we just supposed to endure the abuse, and to what extent before it becomes hazardous to our health? With all of the foul treatment I have described, if it were coming from a man I would have endless resources to help me out of an abusive relationship, but because it is coming from my child I'm just supposed to take it? To make matters more baffling, if I was 30 years older I could get help because I would be considered elderly. It isn't about abandoning her, it's about saving the rest of the family.

 

[Duranie]

Have you tried contacting a talk show for help? Honeslty they have incorrigable teens on shows like Oprah, Maury and they haul them off to bootcamps. You need to beg someone for help.