Can I get an order of protection that includes my son?

[newsinglemom]

Since my recent thread, which you may not have read, things have gotten hairier. My ex now says he may pursue kidnapping charges even though HE locked ME and my son out of our house. Can I get an order of protection against him which will include my son? He is not listed on the birth certificate and my son has my last name.....I'm pulling my hair out here

 

[presutin]

File the order of protection for you and your son and get yourself an attorney who will stop your ex cold on his tracks.

 

[newsinglemom]

Thanks for your response. So I take it there is a way to add my son? I would be devastated if he found some loophole to take him away. I can't afford an attorney, so should I take this as an empty threat? Sorry to bother you, but another response would be greatly appreciated, even if u told me to f--- off. Thank you

 

[CdwJava]

You really need to keep things in the same thread - most of us are not going to hunt around over several threads to see what the story is.

First, what state are you in?

Second, he locked you out of a house that WHO pays the rent/mortgage on? Who is named on the lease/mortgage? Have you ever paid anything towards the lease/mortgage/household?

Third, kidnapping generally requires the taking of the child when you have no lawful right to do so, so assuming you do not have a court order preventing you from having your child with you, this is a bogus threat.

Fourth, on what grounds do you plan to ask for an order of protection? Has their been any domestic violence or threats against you or the child? Have these incidents been reported to the police?

Fifth, have you sought formal custody through the courts? If he beats you to it and sues for paternity and custody, you could lose the child to him if he has grounds.

Please respond back when you can.

- Carl

 

[newsinglemom]

Carl-
Sorry, but I am a novice and didn't realize I had a "thread" to keep.
1. I am in Illinois.
2. He recently re-financed the house through his mother. Of course, I participated in the payments, but my name is not on the mortgage. I paid the bills....in my name.
3. I assumed it was bogus, but all the same it is a scary and intimidating threat. The worst a mom could imagine.
4. He has physically restrained me before...the one time I was allowed to enter the residence to retain some property. I had to leave before gathering most of my belongings because he followed me around the house demanding a "notorized statement that I would not seek child support or you will be sorry". He grabbed me as I was attempting to leave the house, but let go when he realized neighbors were outside. He has never made a physical threat against my son, but maintains the attitude that I will never see him again. The police, as of yet, have never been involved because he assures me that the law is on his side and that is rather intimidating to me.
5. No I have not sought formal custody because I really never thought it would be necessary. I always thought we could be civil, but apparently that is not the case. In the end, I just want to make things as simple and easy as they can be for my son....without the drama.
Thank you for your response. I really appreciate that you have posed questions to me that most avoid. It really opened my eyes, and whatever happens I can be assured that once upon a time someone was willing to listen.

 

[CdwJava]

Carl-
Sorry, but I am a novice and didn't realize I had a "thread" to keep.

It's just that it is hard to track when you have info spread over three or more threads ... either you will be forced to constantly repeat the information, or people who might be interested in responding will decide not to because of that difficulty.

He grabbed me as I was attempting to leave the house, but let go when he realized neighbors were outside.

It would have been beneficial had that entire incident been reported to the police. As it is, if he denied it ever happened, it's effectively moot. It's pretty hard to get a protective order without some proof (witnesses or injury) of threats or actual violence.

The police, as of yet, have never been involved because he assures me that the law is on his side and that is rather intimidating to me.

The law should be neutral. They may not be able to act in favor of either of you, but it is certainly not on "his" side.

No I have not sought formal custody because I really never thought it would be necessary. I always thought we could be civil, but apparently that is not the case.

I hope that you will now seek that custody ruling.

Good luck.

- Carl

 

[newsinglemom]

You have been most helpful and I will not continue to bother you with situations I should have controlled from day one. I can't continue to be intimidated by someone who has no control over me, and I feel for the single parents out there in a similar struggle. Thanks again and I hope all those who receive comments from you consider your opinion and expertise. Maybe I am naive considering legal matters, but any advice could be beneficial.