Can documented alcohol abuse with no police confirmation be used against my ex in court?

[dabears]

Jurisdiction

Wisconsin

My ex girlfriend and I share 50-50 custody and placement. Last night she was taken to jail for domestic battery, threatening another person to withhold evidence from police, and police evasion. This all occurred in front of my 3 year old son, and the parties involved were my ex and her mother. She has a drinking problem and this is not the first time a situation like this has occurred. She has,

1) Assaulted me for holding my son away from her while she was drunk

2) Broken into my apartment and destroyed my things (destroying pictures, decorations, dads USMC flag memorial display, etc.)

3) Went to a strip club blacked out and woke up in a motel room naked with 3 men around her

4) Sent away to a rehab facility 1200 mi away for 1 month

5) Showed up reeking of booze at a parent teacher conference

6) Physical altercation with my mom at my dad's funeral.

7) etc. etc. etc....

I have documented ^ in my phone but police haven't been involved in many of them. Can these incidents be used against her in court? Would denying any of these in court be used against her since she's under oath or is all of this just here say?

 

[adjusterjack]

Obviously, you can "tell" the judge about all of that. How much good it would do you is anybody's guess. The thing is, along with "tell", you would have to submit "evidence" for any of it to make much difference.

Let's take them one at a time.

1) Assaulted me for holding my son away from her while she was drunk

Witnesses? Police report? Arrest? Prosecution? Nothng?

2) Broken into my apartment and destroyed my things (destroying pictures, decorations, dads USMC flag memorial display, etc.)

Witnesses? Police report? Arrest? Prosecution? Nothing?

3) Went to a strip club blacked out and woke up in a motel room naked with 3 men around her

How did you find out about that? The people who told you about it, did they witness it or were a party to it? Will they come to court and testify?

4) Sent away to a rehab facility 1200 mi away for 1 month

Sent away by who? Get the papers, and the admission and discharge documents and/or get her to admit to it on the stand. If she says didn't happen and you have no documents, well...

5) Showed up reeking of booze at a parent teacher conference

Will the teacher, or any other witness, come to court and testify?

6) Physical altercation with my mom at my dad's funeral.

Will your mom testify in court? Will other witnesses?

I have documented in my phone

Documented what? How have you documented anything?

Would denying any of these in court be used against her since she's under oath or is all of this just here say?

You mean "hearsay."

You are free to relate any or all of this in court but if she denies anything and you have no witnesses or evidence besides your "sayso" it might not do any good.

As for last night's arrest, all the prosecution needs is to prove that she did what they accuse her of. Her prior behavior isn't going to affect that. However, if she has a prior criminal record that could affect sentencing.

If your goal is to get full custody of the child in family court, that's another story but you'll still need evidence of, and witnesses to, her past behavior.

Although it's possible after last night, CPS may take the child and determine what to do about custody.

Who has the child now?

 

[dabears]

1) Assaulted me for holding my son away from her while she was drunk

I was speaking to her mother with a phone in one hand and my son in the other as she was slapping me in the face. Evidence? My friend was there and saw the whole thing happen. I'd assume he'd testify. Other evidence (maybe not as useful) are phone records and her mother hearing the commotion over the phone. Other then that I assume her mom wouldn't testify against her.

2) Broken into my apartment and destroyed my things (destroying pictures, decorations, dads USMC flag memorial display, etc.)

I have picture documentation of my trashed apartment and phoned over the police who took a look around and they made the decision write a police report. I have not heard of anything since.

3) Went to a strip club blacked out and woke up in a motel room naked with 3 men around her

I received a very disturbing call from my ex claiming she was raped (she has claimed rape damn near 5 times since she was 18, she is 22 now) I went to the house and her parents, family, and friends were there and eventually the word spread what had gone on. Police were involved in the investigation of the incident but no charges were filed and my ex was pretty much escorted out the police department door.


4) Sent away to a rehab facility 1200 mi away for 1 month

Sent by her parents, they paid for her to go to a rehab center in california. I don't have these documents of her discharge or enrollment. The only thing I physically have are a few pictures of her at the rehab center participating in common rehab routines. I assume it doesn't hold of much value.

5) Showed up reeking of booze at a parent teacher conference

I am unsure, I didn't mention it to the teachers if they thought she had been drinking. I for the most part ignored it while we were in the presence of my sons teacher.


6) Physical altercation with my mom at my dad's funeral.

Yes she will testify, as will other members of my family.

I have documented in my phone

I was told to write down exactly what happened after each incident involving her, alcohol and my son transpired. I have pictures of some of the incidents like her passed out or the aftermath of my apartment being destroyed. These notes are more intended to prevent me from forgetting everything I've seen out of her. I am unsure of what value these will hold in a court of law but it certainly doesn't hurt to have at hand for my sake.


Would denying any of these in court be used against her since she's under oath or is all of this just here say?

Yeah, my fault. I meant hearsay.



Is CPS known to take children even if one parent who shares 50-50 custody and placement is a responsible caretaker? God knows I don't want to lose my son because his mother is a belligerent out of control alcoholic.


Who has the child now?


As of right now my son is at childcare I dropped him off this morning and will head over soon to pick him up. This weekend was supposed to be my ex's time to be with him but since she is in jail until at least Monday, I will be the one taking care of him. Even then I won't feel comfortable leaving him with her alone. She has made a complete mess of her life right now. It appears based on the evidence I can provide I may have a hard time convincing the court that she has had a long line of severe issues as a result of her alcohol consumption.

 

[adjusterjack]

It's almost 3:30 PM in Wisconsin. Any chance you can get to the family court and request an emergency temporary restraining order keeping her away from you and your son pending the outcome of her current arrest?

If not today, then first thing Monday morning.

I think the current arrest alone would probably get it for you. Even if it's for a short period of time (couple of weeks, couple of months) it'll give you some breathing space while you figure out what to do next about custody.