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Can a minor remove an order of protection setup by their parent/legal guardian after they turn 18?

Discussion in 'Protective & Restraining Orders' started by Cole, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. Cole

    Cole Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My girlfriend's father has set up an order of protection against me against her will. I've never received any legal documents or notification of this until I was threatened to go to jail by school's officials for hanging out with her, not fully understanding this was even in effect. She lives in an abusive household and the motives behind her father setting one up are to remove anyway she can get support/help from me and others. Her father has kicked her out multiple times and then proceeded to call the police on her claiming she's a runaway which eventually led up to her serving 6 months of probation. She was notified by her probation officer this afternoon that even after her probation is over, the order of protection will still stand and claimed that the only way it will ever be removed is if the person who set it up removes it, her father. I am wanting to know if there is any way for her to remove this order of protection after she turns of legal age since she involuntarily has this against me? Can I do anything about this myself?

    Extra Information (Not Important/regarding the question generally): We both want her out of that house after she turns 18, as when I say "Abusive household" I mean emotionally, physically, and is mentally abused on a daily basis. She's lived with this all her life and I simply want to help her and do what's best for her. After she's 18, the plan was for her to move out of the house and come with me to get away from him to proceed to unironically get an order of protection against her father for her. If any more details are needed I can provide them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019
  2. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    If she's being abused, contact the authorities. Your "help" is not helping.
     
  3. Cole

    Cole Law Topic Starter New Member

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    We both have. We've notified the school, called cops multiple times, got Department of Children Services involved, and once I've had audio of him absolutely laying into her and beating her till half her arms and legs were swollen. What he did/does every time is he calls the authorities first and claims that she abused him/started it and says he fought back out of self-defense. Her father has a close friend who works as a policeman and every time there's an issue he calls him out to handle it which saves her father from getting into any trouble. School authorities have told her to gain any video/evidence she can get. She's technology deprived and has no access to communication so after her father realized I was trying to help her prove that he is abusive, he set up the order of protection which rendered her without a cell phone I got her and she can't call/seek help from the law or any friends. Let alone gain any evidence that any of this goes on. "Contacting the authorities" was our first option, it's gotten to the point whereas I said, she's on probation because she tries to seek help every time this happens by claiming her father is abusive. I have literally been there in front of the cops and told them what happened, showed the video, audio proof of some of this and they brushed me off and sent me back home. This is our second option. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be reading this.

    She isn't just someone I'm just "trying to help" because I feel sorry for her or just met her yesterday. I'm going to help her because we love each other equally. She's always explaining that I'm all she has and I cannot simply help but attempt to do something here. I'm just trying to gain information as to what She or I can do to solve our current problem to proceed in the future. From your response perhaps you think I'm trying to be overly involved but there is quite literally nothing else I, nor she can do because of this predicament she is in.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2019
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    It is in YOUR best interests to OBEY all lawful court orders.


    Yes, of course you can.

    You can OBEY the lawful orders of the court or risk being arrested for violating same.

    =============================================

    In what year were you born?
     
  5. Cole

    Cole Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Okay. Is it normal to not receive any notice or papers regarding an order of protection? I don't understand it much and just want insight on this. As well as the answer to my main question. I'm not wanting to hear about how it'll affect me, I just want to know if she can she drop the order by herself voluntarily after she turns 18? Can I get into trouble if she tries to contact me via phone, text, or in-person? I'm not particularly interested in my interests but I just need the answer of whether or not she can drop it when she turns of legal age.
     
  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Many people run, duck, and hide to avoid being properly served.

    Other people are transients and the sheriff is often unable to locate the person to serve him or her.

    All you need to understand, served or not, is that it is in YOUR best interests to OBEY all lawful court orders.

    She can ask the court to recall the order.

    Only the judge who issued the order can recall it, or an appellate judge, if the case is appealed.

    Yes, and so can she.

    That said, it is best that you FORGET this person and avoid her like she is the walking plague if you enjoy being among those of us who enjoy being free people.
     
  7. Cole

    Cole Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Okay, thank you for answering all of it. More help than anyone else I've tried to ask. All I wanted to know if she has the ability as a legal adult to remove the order in the future or at the very least attempt to. I'm in the clue about most of this regarding the order and by all means, I know that It isn't anything to play around with. It's just that the way it's carried out in the situation is, (in her perspective and mine), is unjustified and ridiculous even. I haven't done anything to her beforehand to have this filed against me and barely even knew her father before he started hating me after I witnessed one of his beatdowns on her. Excuse my language here but to be frank, it's a giant clusterfuck of a situation that nobody really understands nor cares.

    Thanks for the help.
     
  8. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    The rights minors in our society possess flow through their parent(s) or legal guardian(s).

    That is why her parent went to court and sought the order of protection against you.

    If you are an adult, pretend you are Superman and minors are YOUR Kryptonite.

    (In the fictional word of the comic book, TV, and film character Superman) an alien mineral that has the property of depriving Superman of his powers.)

    (Something that can seriously weaken or harm a particular person or thing.)

    If you think of yourself as a hunter or fisherman, you can't keep a fish that is below the legal catch limit in inches. If you are a hunter, you can't legally kill and keep a deer fawn or any protected species.

    Good luck, and mind your Ps and Qs.
     
    Cole likes this.
  9. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Agree with Army Judge. Until she is 18 you avoid her like the plague. Otherwise you can go to jail for violating the order.

    Once she is 18, you continue to avoid her until SHE goes to court and gets the order rescinded. Then you can live happily ever after.

    It would be a good idea for you to go to the courthouse and get a copy of the case file and the order so you can figure out how it came about and how long it's good for.
     
  10. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    Just to add, even discussing this with her and trying to "help" her likely violates the restraining order and puts you at risk of being arrested.
    Just curious, do you know for certain an order was issued or were you just told there was one? You might try and verify this with local law enforcement or see if the court will give you a copy so you can be clear what the terms of the order are.

    She apparently already knows her options and just needs to keep reporting incidents to her probation officer, law enforcement, school officials, or sucks services. She doesn't have to record anything. They will investigate.
     
  11. Disabled Vet

    Disabled Vet Active Member

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    What age are the both of you now?
     
  12. Cole

    Cole Law Topic Starter New Member

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    After school today I'm going to contact the county's circuit court and see if they can find anything on mine, her, or her father's record about it. I'm not sure if that's the right place to call but perhaps they could redirect me to where I can look it up. She's 16 and I am at 17 years right now. My Birthday is in January, she's in March. I have looked up our public records and I don't see anything about restrainment orders but I don't know if that shows on a record. The court did mention to her that the order of protection is apart of her probation and we had been assuming it would end after probation is over. However, her probation officer said it's not apart of probation and was filed separately by her father. Until I know for sure I'm obviously going to assume there is one but could it be attached to her probation by any chance? Regardless I'm going to attempt to find out later in the afternoon today more about this.
     
  13. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    At 16 her parents OWN her and she does nothing but breathe without their say-so. With or without an order of protection, restraining order, whatever it's called in your state, if you know her parents want you to stay away, you stay away. When I have more time I'll explain some of the perfectly legal things her parents can do to her if they catch her with you, restraining order or not, that will make her life a living hell - and yes, I do mean worse that it is already. If she is being physically abused, she should call CPS or the cops every single time it happens (the law cares diddly about "mental abuse" or "emotional abuse" since what some kids call mental/emotional abuse is called good parenting in other circles. That may not be the case here, I grant you, but it goes that the law won't care beyond the physical). Otherwise, as long as she is even one minute under 18 what they say goes.
     
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  14. Disabled Vet

    Disabled Vet Active Member

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    Your best bet is simple.... Stay the heck away from her. Getting criminal charges at your age will effect your life forever. Schools, Jobs, Loans, Renting etc..... will become issues. If you honestly love her as you stated. You will stay away because you don't want to see her struggle in dealing with issues caused by you being in her life at this point. She just needs to know there are a lot of places that will help her in the home. You're not one of them.
     
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  15. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    If you are 17 a restraining order against you would have been accomplished through your parents. If they have no knowledge of it then it probably doesn't exist.
    It is possible that she was given instruction from probation to have no contact with you. That would be very different.
    Either way, if you care about this girl you will leave her alone. Restraining order or not, he parents can keep her away from you and your attempts to maintain contact will make things harder for her.
     
  16. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Then your relationship with her is over, finished, kaput.

    Even without the restraining order she violates her probation by being in contact with you. If her parents get wind of the contact they will take out a restraining order that's guaranteed to last until she is 18.

    There is no way that you win this.
     
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  17. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    And at this point did you receive a copy of the restraining order signed by the judge?

    After she turns 18, you or she can apply to the court to lift the order. Since that won't happen for more than another year and a half, I suggest you move on with your life.

    No, but neither is it unheard of.

    That depends on whether her attempts are successful and what you do in response.
     
  18. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Okay, now that I have a little more time, here are some of the things her parents can do to her if they don't like her behavior or who she is seeing, all of which are completely legal and for which she will have no recourse:

    They can take the door of her bedroom off its hinges, remove everything from her room and leave her with a mattress on the floor and two changes of weather-appropriate clothing of their choice. They can lock and/or alarm all the doors and windows so that she cannot leave the house without their knowledge. They can confiscate all her books, games, electronics and other possessions; if she needs a computer for school they can require that she use it in the living room under their supervision. They can put a keystroker on the machine so that they can see what she is doing on it. They can ground her from now until her 18th birthday, allowing her out of the house only for school and religious services, if religious services are a part of their family. They can escort her to and from school and if they so choose, even attend classes with her. If she has a job, they can force her to quit it. If she belongs to any clubs or meetings, they can force her to quit them as well. They can essentially sentence her to two years of sitting in a chair with her hands folded, wearing clothing that they pick out for her, doing nothing other than school, and the law will look the other way because it will all be completely legal.
     
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  19. PayrollHRGuy

    PayrollHRGuy Active Member

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    And when they make her believe they are going to do pretty much 1% of what CBG wrote the next words out of her mouth will be, "Cole who?"
     
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  20. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    At 17, every love seems forever. At 25, not so much.
     

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