J
JFNY
Guest
- Jurisdiction
- New York
I'm currently being threatened by two separate women who say they have pictures of us together. Both are threatening to tell my wife. How do I make it stop?
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army judge
Super Moderator
You can't make these women do anything, or stop them from exposing your allegedly adulterous acts.
If, however, you KNOW you haven't committed sexual acts with anyone other than your wife, ignore these women. Why? They can't hurt you.
If the women possess pictures that illustrate you in a compromised position, I suggest you discuss your options with a good divorce attorney. You need to do whatever it takes LEGALLY to preserve as much of your assets as allowed under the laws of your states.
This should be a lesson to you to change your philandering ways. Sex isn't all that great compared to paying someone for many years that will no longer be involved n your life. If you sex means that much to you, when you're divorced, don't ever remarry.
adjusterjack
Super Moderator
It's not blackmail or extortion all they are doing is threatening to tell your wife without an "or else" in there somewhere.
NY Penal Code Section 155.05 Larceny:
(e) By extortion. A person obtains property by extortion when he compels or induces another person to deliver such property to himself or to a third person by means of instilling in him a fear that, if the property is not so delivered, the actor or another will:
(v) Expose a secret or publicize an asserted fact, whether true or false, tending to subject some person to hatred, contempt or ridicule;
Depending on what they want of you, their threats might not be the crime of extortion or blackmail at all.
What's the "or else"?
Betty3
Well-Known Member
You probably cannot make them stop. If they decide to tell - they are going to tell.
You title your thread blackmail. Why do you believe blackmail is involved.
You title your thread blackmail. Why do you believe blackmail is involved.
adjusterjack
Super Moderator
Yes, could be.
There are three levels of harassment in the NY Penal Code that might apply. Take your pick.
New York Penal - Article 240 - § 240.25 Harassment in the First Degree - New York Attorney Resources - New York Laws
New York Penal - Article 240 - § 240.26 Harassment in the Second Degree - New York Attorney Resources - New York Laws
New York Penal - Article 240 - § 240.30 Aggravated Harassment in the Second Degree - New York Attorney Resources - New York Laws
Of course, if you call the police on these women, that'll virtually guarantee that your wife will get the pictures.
Maybe you'd be better off ignoring these women, block their calls and emails and hope they just get tired of bothering you.
On the other hand, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You might be toast no matter what you do.
I don't really want to file charges. I've certainly learned my lesson but want to know what I can do should the women pursue this. I just want them to go away so I can work on fixing things with my wife.
Also, I thought it was illegal to film someone when they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
Also, I thought it was illegal to film someone when they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
adjusterjack
Super Moderator
OK.
I have no idea.
Then, for the moment, ignore them, block their calls and emails and see how that goes.
It's not that simple. It has a lot to do with the contents of the photos or video and the circumstances under which they were taken.
Start with NY Penal Code Section 250.40. At the bottom of the page there are links to the successive sections:
New York Penal - Article 250 - § 250.40 Unlawful Surveillance; Definitions - New York Attorney Resources - New York Laws
However, if you aren't willing to file a police report, knowing the statutes aren't likely to do you any good unless you just want to send them copies with a warning to back off and destroy the pictures.
army judge
Super Moderator
Nothing can stop the pictures from being released.
The law, much like you, is only able to react.
The pictures could be mailed ANONYMOUSLY to your wife.
The pictures could simply be posted ANONYMOUSLY on power poles, community bulletin boards, abandoned buildings, your front lawn, your wife's car windows, tacked to your front door in the dark of night, simply strewn about the neighborhood, sent via ANONYMOUS SPAM emails or texts, or other endless ways.
If that occurred, the state might be able to prosecute someone.
You might be able to sue someone.
However, that simply adds more fuel to the publicity fires.
Your wife learns more naughty secrets, or will hear more salacious accusations.
You have many options.
Ignoring these critters seems the weakest, but its by far the most powerful.
Do you remember what a stain on that little blue dress did to Bill Clinton?
He was a sitting president, who ended up being impeached over that stain and an accusation.
If I were you, I'd come clean.
Yes, your wife might divorce you.
Yes, your life could change.
But, you would no longer live in fear.
The lesson here is thousands of years old.
It's what our mothers and fathers told us when we were five years old.
Behave yourself, don't break the rules, tell the truth, don't fall victim to temptations.
I feel your pain, mate.
I feel your confusion.
The law can't prevent anyone from being harmed.
The criminal law can only prosecute and punish.
The civil law can only reward you with money.
Ray Donovan served as former President Ronald Reaan's Secretary of Labor. His reputation was destroyed, even though he was acquitted of the crimes.
This is how Secretary Donovan reacted to his acquittal:
''It's a cruel thing they did to me,'' Mr. Donovan said as he left the courthouse in the South Bronx with his arm wrapped around his wife, Catherine, as they prepared to return to their home in Short Hills, N.J.
''After two and half years, this nightmare is behind us,'' the 56-year-old Mr. Donovan said earlier in an impromptu news conference in the corridor just outside the courtroom. ''The jury has reawakened my faith in our system of justice. It was shattered here for nine months.
''The question is, should this indictment have ever been brought? Which office do I go to to get my reputation back? Who will reimburse my company for the economic jail it has been in for two and a half years?''
Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, had his reputation sullied, too. He, too, was acquitted.
Here's their stories:
DONOVAN CLEARED OF FRAUD CHARGES BY JURY IN BRONX
Senator Ted Stevens: An Innocent Man
I wish you well, but don't expect the police, the courts, or anyone to protect you. The lesson here for all of us is to behave ourselves. Following their rules is the only way to keep the wolves from eating us alive.
adjusterjack
Super Moderator
There is nothing you can do to prevent these women from telling your wife of actual behavior you did commit. You cheated. The law is not going to protect your secret. Had they made it up, you would have recourse. Since it is truth, it is something you have to live with.
Personally, you should tell your wife. No matter how upset she is, I guarantee it will be better for her to find out from you rather than some random women. Not to mention you put her health in jeopardy. She needs to see her doctor and get tested. You should as well. Get yourself into counseling while you are at it.
Personally, you should tell your wife. No matter how upset she is, I guarantee it will be better for her to find out from you rather than some random women. Not to mention you put her health in jeopardy. She needs to see her doctor and get tested. You should as well. Get yourself into counseling while you are at it.
shrinkmaster
Well-Known Member
You have a personal issue here rather than a legal one. The link in my signature line will take you to a forum (hosted by this site)where you can discuss parenting and relationship issues. There you may find others who have had similar situations and may offer advice
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