Bio father wants to sign his rights away..

Discussion in 'Use of the Law Forum & News' started by Lwoliva78, Jul 14, 2014.

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  1. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I hope I am posting this question correctly if not I apologize..

    I'll make a long story short.. My girlfriend gave her mom custody of her daughter to join the military, since then she refuses to give custody back to my girlfriend.

    The bio father has never been in the picture and refuses to be a part of his daughters life.
    She calls me daddy and looks at me like her father figure.

    Now dad wants to sign his rights off to me as her father.

    Could I then petition for the courts for full custody of my "daughter"?

    I live in NC


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  2. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    Short answer: Only if Mom is willing to give up her rights too.
     
  3. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    So if they both gave up their rights I could legally take her away from the grandparents to live with me?


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  4. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    Getting what you are asking for is very unlikely.
    Adoption is what you should be looking in to, but that has it's own hurdles.
    Assuming custody was granted to the grandmother by the court you really have no chance of anything if grandma isn't on board, and even then chances are slim.
     
  5. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    Is Mom STILL in the military? What's the actual goal here? Are the parents listed on Mom's FCP? (family care plan)
     
  6. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    And this is going to likely shock the living hell out of Mom...but when she gave up custody to her Mom, did she realize that she did so PERMANENTLY? As in, "you can't just give up custody so you can enlist as a single parent without custody...."?
     
  7. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Are you the baby's bio-dad?
    If you're just the bio-mom's BOO, you are wasting your time.
    Bio-dad, read on, if you care to learn more.
    Have you established paternity?
    I suggest you speak with a couple family law attorneys in your county.
    The initial meeting is free, and you'll learn what steps you have conquer to get something.
    If you're bio-dad, you must first establish paternity.
    While the state is assisting you with establishing your paternity (legally), your legal child support will be determined.
    You won't get custody (in the foreseeable future), but you are eventually entitled to visitation.
    You also need to know what will happen to baby, should the grandmother get ill, or even die.
    Forget custody,m because what you need to be concerned with is what's bets for baby.
    Then you want to be actively involved in baby's life.
    To do that, you start with teeny, tiny, steps.
    You made things more complicated for yourself (as far as being in baby's life) by not getting involved with the placement of baby when bio-mom dumped the child with her mom.
    No criticism, simply stating facts.
    But, it seems you now have an awakened sense of fatherhood, and I commend you.
    But, custody shouldn't matter as long as you know baby is safe, you're paying for baby's essentials, and you're attempting to be involved in baby's life so that baby knows what a real dad is and does.

    Here, this is the IL state agency where you can get the ball rolling:


    http://www.childsupportillinois.com/

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2014
  8. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I appreciate everyone's time in answering my questions. This is my first time in this forum and I already have to set some things straight.

    To "army judge" thank you for ur answer but I must say that u seem to be a little insensitive and borderline rude with ur reply. I am more than just bio moms "boo" as you put it, we have lived together for about 3 yrs and share all responsibilities like a couple should. #2.. No I am NOT the bio dad as my question clearly states the bio dad has never been involved and verbally admitted he wants nothing to do with his daughter EVER, and is willing to sign his rights to me CUZ I HAVE BEEN THE DAD HE HASNT.

    And finally number #3... Bio mom didn't "dump" her daughter off to grandma, she was trying to better her life since bio dad wasn't around and decided to join the military... THE MILITARY told her the only way she could join is if she gave up custody. Not knowing that grandma would use this opportunity against her later in the future she agreed to give grandma custody.

    Thank you again.


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  9. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    No mom isn't in the military. The actual goal is that mom wants her daughter back and grandma isn't giving up custody. We are just at our wits end trying to figure out how to get her back home with us where she belongs.

    It seems like everything we try fails and grandma makes sure of it.


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  10. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    How did this "custody" change take place? Was it a court action was it custody or temporary guardianship? What was terms etc of this change and where was it done?
     
  11. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Mom (child's mom) wanted to join the military but since dad wasn't around since birth the military aka the recruiter told her the only way she could join is if she gave custody to someone else... Not knowing that her mother would be a class a b!@@@ she gave custody of her daughter to her mother.

    After some medical complications and not being able to join the military, now grandma doesn't want to give the daughter back. This is all taking place in Fayetteville, NC.


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  12. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    How was Mom able to give away custody without Father's consent of did he consent? If Mom "gave away" custody she no longer has custody she didn't loan the child she gave child away. She gave away her parental rights!
     
  13. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    As this is an emotional issue for you, OP, I'm going to ignore your tirade (for the time being).
    If you engage in one more outburst; rest assured, you won't remain.

    Okay, moving on, OP, this is a legal site.
    If you seek sensitivity, warmth, and feeling; you can simply excuse yourself now.
    I'm sure their are many, many "BOO" support sites, and "SHACK SUPPORT SITES" all over the internet.
    This, ain't one, OP.

    You have no standing in the custody of your GF's child.
    Even if you married her, you'd have no standing.
    The considers BFs and GFs legal strangers.

    As it appears mom gave up more than custody, there's very little she can now do.
    It might be possible for mom to do what I suggested to you (before you explained your position), and that is seek visitation.
    Possible doesn't mean YES, it means POSSIBLE.
    To be very clear, everything is POSSIBLE, and POSSIBLE is another way to say HOPE.
    Finally, you are BOTH free to visit a few attorneys in your county.
    As I said previously, most attorneys offer the fist consultation without charge or obligation.
    Therefore, it costs nothing but time, and you will better be able to sort out your rights.

    Again, good luck!
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2014
  14. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    AJ this is sensitive subject for OP and his complaint on your post really wasn't that bad lighten up.

    I agree you have no legal standing on this issue and from your post it seems Mom gave away her child and thus has no more parental rights. However if Dad was not on board for this or did not consent he (not you) may be able to take action.
     
  15. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you shrink master for ur support in my matter. I'm not here for boohoos or shoulders, just here for some answers.

    Idk why AJ had it out for me from the start but I didn't come here to be threatened of being banned from this forum.

    All I wanted to do was help my "boo" regain custody of her child even if it meant me taking full responsibility and risking myself being put on child support if I lost trying to get custody from the grandma.

    The real dad is a loser just trying to get off of paying child support and I thought this could be a legal way to attain custody. Both the mom and dad are willing to give me full rights and I thought I could use that to get her back from the grandparents and stay with us permanently.

    I apologize for any inconvenience this simple question may have caused anyone and now Mr. Or miss AJ can ban me.

    Thanks again to all who ENJOY being in this forum to help others.


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  16. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    You have issues here besides legal ones. May I suggest a sister site to this one on parenting and relationship issues. I can say that abusive posts, attacks or rude replies are dealt with there and swiftly. Link in in my signature line
     
  17. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Wow.. I have never met a more judgemental bunch of people in my life...

    I hope you all aren't actual lawyers because if so god help our constitution.

    Now I have issues? And I need parental and relationship counsel? You all don't know me and America ad the rest of the world would be lucky to have millions more dads like me who are willing to take care of other low life's deadbeat dad's children.

    You all treat me like I'm some kind of douchebag.

    Don't worry about banning me I will excuse myself as I never wan to be associated with any people of ur morals.


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  18. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Yes there are issues (although not serious at moment) your relationship will change if you adopt or raise this child. You also can get parenting advice from real parents on coping with situations you WILL face. You r situation is not normal you want to raise a child not yours and currently has no relationship with Mom or Dad that is a lot to take on! I was offering you a place to get some helpful suggestions. I was not attacking you. You stooped down to the same level (even lower) that person you complained about. If this is how you react to a simple forum (By the way AJ is a lawyer and former Judge) how are you going to raise a child with issues of their own? Once again I was offering you a place wher eyou can talk to your peers over the relationship and parenting issues you will face I was not attacking you!
     
  19. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    By the way I have raised step children I know what your in for. One was a REAL problem child! I have done well as both a Father and Step Father as many here on this site will attest to. So I am the kind of Dad you hope to be.
     
  20. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I really do apologize SM.. And I know what your saying about raising kids that aren't my own but I have basically seen this little girl grow up for the last 2 yrs and she is only 3.

    I was only looking for a way to help my girlfriend because she is so distraught about not being able to have her daughter with her and not just for visitation.


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