Bio father wants to sign his rights away..

Discussion in 'Use of the Law Forum & News' started by Lwoliva78, Jul 14, 2014.

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  1. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    And I apologize to AJ also as you said this is a touchy subject I've been dealing with for the last 2+ yrs and i get pretty defensive when it sounds like someone is trying to make mom sound terrible. She is a great loving mom and we have a child I our own whom she adores and all she was trying to do was better herself by joining the military and thought that her mom was there to help not take advantage of the situation.


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  2. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Once again I suggest the parenting and relationship forum (sister site to this one) for help from other parents and the like. You can get some legal issues discussed but its not the site focus. Everyone there is friendly and helpful and have likely dealt with anything you might or have faced. Its not about counseling or therapy. Its your peers sharing stories and advice no judgement
     
  3. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    You never did answer exactly how custody was given to the grandmother. Was it done through the courts? Did mom simply agree and write some personal letter giving grandma permission?
    Was it custody or was it guardianship?
    Did the father agree to any of this at the time or was it done without his knowledge?

    Regardless of the answer to all of these questions, the chance that you could be awarded custody is essentially zero. Adoption is the only way it would happen and that doesn't seem to be remotely close to happening.

    Mom needs to discuss all of this with a lawyer to understand her options and the consequences of previously giving up custody. If there is any way for her to undo the mess her attorney can help her through it. Dig up any previous court orders regarding custody and carefully read through them.
     
  4. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    Because it's a military thing. It's NOT the same as you might expect.

    The only way a single parent can enlist (NG and Reserves notwithstanding) is if they do not have custody of the child. For this reason, either the FCP or the actual court order will suffice (depending on how savvy the recruiter is or isn't).
     
  5. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    This is what a few of us are confused about:

    Grandma has custody.

    Mom isn't fighting too hard, by all accounts....but you want custody? There isn't any chance of that happening. Mom can go to court and try, but not you. You're what's called a "legal stranger", and you do not have standing to even file in court.

    Now. I'm willing to go a bit further, if we can all remain polite. But this is what we need to know:

    1. How long has Grandma had custody?
    2. Was this done through the courts, or what?
    3. Dad's involvement isn't really a huge issue right this second...but it might be. Was he notified during the custody switch?

    Let's start there.
     
  6. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Ok thank you all again.. Grandma has had custody since baby was 9 months old but at the time mom was still living with grandma and baby (good old delayed entry)...

    When the baby turned maybe a year and a few months after military fell thru is when grandma decided that she wasn't goin to give mommy back her baby..

    It was all done thru the courts and bio dad had no idea. Hope this all helps..

    My question is that can bio dad legally waive his rights to be the father and make me the "dad on paper"? Or am I just setting myself up for failure?


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  7. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    I am not even certain the custody ruling was legit if Bio Dad was not aware or involved
     
  8. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    The only way for you to be Dad on paper is if:
    1. You marry Mom, stay married for a year or so and adopt Princess.
    or
    2. Mom and Dad both give up their parental rights and you adopt Princess as a single parent.

    But the Granny problem has to be solved first, and Mom will have to take care of that. You have no say in that matter. Mom will more than likely need an attorney to handle that for her.
     
  9. Lwoliva78

    Lwoliva78 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Hmmm... Is there a way to have the whole thing dismissed if we can prove the real dad had no idea this all happened?

    And exactly what granny problem?


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  10. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Possibly but Mom (not you) needs to discuss this with a Lawyer
     
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  11. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    Stop stop stop - please, just for a second.

    EVEN IF Dad wasn't properly served - and I'm not convinced of that at all - Mom can't argue that point now. Or, she can explain to a judge how trampling over Dad's rights was fine when she needed something, but now it's no longer fine.

    Mom would, in my opinion, be extremely foolish to pull that one. And even if she did, the court isn't going to automatically void the whole thing. This is not about technicalities now - this is about best interests.

    Is it in the child's best interest to be taken from her primary caregiver?

    Really?

    The court will call this "playing games", and it will not end well for Mom.
     
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