Bad father

[alw51800]

I have a 5yr old son who hasn't seen his dad for about 2-3 months. Before that he seen him like every other weekend. I was never married, I left him after 2yrs of being physically abused. We came up with a verbal agreement for him to pay me $200 a month for child support. He's way over do. The only way he would ever give me the money is if I had sex with him, of course I didn't. I don't feel my son is safe with him. He is a major alcholic, he does drugs and I've seen him punish my son by hitting him in his stomach and knocking the wind out of him. Do I have the right to keep him away from him if I feel its unsafe? Or do I have to go to court to settle all this crazyness?

 

[carney]

Unfortunately if you go to court they will grant him visitation with the child and it wont matter if he does drugs, etc... You can't do anything about getting child support unless you go to court or the child support office and again if you do that he will get visitation. If you feel that he is a danger to the child and right now is not having anything to do with the child just have no contact with him and don't worry about getting child support. Sometimes it's best to leave everything else alone if it means keeping your child safe. The courts don't usually help you keep a child from the father unless he has been convicted of child abuse and sometimes they still make the child visit the father in jail. If you can live without the child support, just don't have contact with the father and go on with your life. If you want the child support you can go to the child support office and they will establish what he will pay and they can go after him if he doesn't pay. Keep in mind though that they don't always pay even though they are threatened by the child support office. My ex owes $17,000 in back child support and doesn't care if they take him to court or take his drivers license away.

 

[carney]

You may want to take the child to child services so he can tell them that his father hits him. They may find out if other abuse is going on too. Again they won't keep the father from visiting but they may help you get supervised visitation for a little while. A friend's husband was convicted of child pornography and the courts were still going to let him visit with their child. Fortunately he wasn't a citizen of the U.S. and they deported him and he's not allowed to come back for 10 years. He still has rights to his child though because they never took that away but at least there is no way he can do anything about it out of the country.

 

[Duranie]

Has paternity been established?

If he punched the kid why in the heck did you not call police or CPS?

Unless there is a CS order he does not have to pay anything.

I think you need to decide if you really want him to see the child. If you file for child support he most definitely will want to see the child.

It sounds to me maybe life is better when he is not aroundd so determine if dealing with him is worth it.

If paternity was not established and there is no visitation order you do not have to allow visitation.

 

[decaf]

Go to Supervised Visitation Network website at www.svnetwork.net for information about supervised visitation. They also list providers in your area.

Decaf

 

[CanadianMama]

You do NOT have to allow visitation with this man if there is no order in place. do you feel that he has the will (and the capacity) to hire a lawyer and take it to court? If not, then don't worry about it.....but on a side note, I also wouldn't ask for child support. Let the father be.....and lay low with the child.
In the meantime, make documents about EVERYTHING. How often he visits or calls, what the visits are like, things that your son has said, things that you've witnessed etc. Write it all down, so that you don't forget. Include dates. It might be hearsay, but at least you have it.