Advice on explaining resignation and then termination

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Dawn532

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Two months ago I resigned from my job. I was Director of HR for a mid-sized company. The job became overwhelming for me and with handling all HR for about 200 people in three locations in different time zones I realized I needed a change. I'm married and my husband supported me in this decision and assured me that we would be fine financially even if it took a while for me to find something. I knew it would be hard to explain quitting a job without having another but I felt like I need to do that. Here's the problem:
I resigned on a thursday and was asked if I would be willing to stay to train somebody new. I said yes. The following wednesday I interviewed a woman and the next day she started as a consultant after being hired by my boss who was COO. I was surprised to see her the next morning when I came in. I sat with her and went over what I did and where files were etc and was called to the conference room at noon. I was told that my employment was effectively terminated and that I should leave. My stuff would be mailed to me. I was crushed and shocked. I had worked there for four years and had built good relationships with the staff and owners. It's like they just didn't know me anymore and treated me like I had done something wrong.
They did not fight my UI claim so I assume I am/was fired. I applied to see what they would do.
I have no idea how to explain this to people in new interview oppts. I'm at a loss and try hard to not be emotional but it was such a crappy thing I can't help it. I don't even know if I can use anybody there as a reference so something has to be said. My former boss tells me to just say that it was not a good fit for me and that we didn't see the HR function/value the same.
Any advice on how to handle this? It's 4 years of my life that I have to explain somehow. I got good reviews, raises, bonuses and lots of accolades for the work I did. Now I have nothing.
Thanks
 
Dawn532 said:
Two months ago I resigned from my job. I was Director of HR for a mid-sized company. The job became overwhelming for me and with handling all HR for about 200 people in three locations in different time zones I realized I needed a change. I'm married and my husband supported me in this decision and assured me that we would be fine financially even if it took a while for me to find something. I knew it would be hard to explain quitting a job without having another but I felt like I need to do that. Here's the problem:
I resigned on a thursday and was asked if I would be willing to stay to train somebody new. I said yes. The following wednesday I interviewed a woman and the next day she started as a consultant after being hired by my boss who was COO. I was surprised to see her the next morning when I came in. I sat with her and went over what I did and where files were etc and was called to the conference room at noon. I was told that my employment was effectively terminated and that I should leave. My stuff would be mailed to me. I was crushed and shocked. I had worked there for four years and had built good relationships with the staff and owners. It's like they just didn't know me anymore and treated me like I had done something wrong.
They did not fight my UI claim so I assume I am/was fired. I applied to see what they would do.
I have no idea how to explain this to people in new interview oppts. I'm at a loss and try hard to not be emotional but it was such a crappy thing I can't help it. I don't even know if I can use anybody there as a reference so something has to be said. My former boss tells me to just say that it was not a good fit for me and that we didn't see the HR function/value the same.
Any advice on how to handle this? It's 4 years of my life that I have to explain somehow. I got good reviews, raises, bonuses and lots of accolades for the work I did. Now I have nothing.
Thanks
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There will never be a reason that will satisfy some.

Your former boss' advice is probably the best way to explain your decision to a future employer.

I'd avoid any other excuses or reasons, especially the ones that go to your desire to live on one, and not two incomes.

Some people could take that in ways that you didn't intend it.

More often than not, less is more.
 
I'm not sure from your post if you were approved for UI or if your employer just didn't contest it. If you haven't been approved yet, it will be up to the state to decide if you receive it. You did resign (you just indicated you would stay until they found someone new for your job & explain your job duties to them). You generally don't receive UI when you quit/resign.

Since you did resign - your employer didn't technically fire you, you need to tell prospective employers the truth as to why you left your former job. You can tell them you did stay long enough (at your employer's request) until a new person was hired. You said you resigned because you need a change - tell them that & if you believe you were no longer a fit for HR at that co., tell then that also.

You knew your employer was going to let you go after someone new was hired/trained - they accepted your resignation but asked you to stay on until then which you agreed to.

You can't leave 4 years off your job applications - you resigned after 4 years of working. Employers are going to want to know what you did during those 4 years. Do you have any people you worked with who you can give as a reference who you believe will give you a good reference?
 
I'm getting UI.
How do I explain this in interviews? I did great work for them and the Partners know it. They tried to keep me there and when they realized it wasn't going to happen they basically termed me. The consultant they hired quit 2 weeks later and now they are on to number 2.
It's not really a "they" it's only one person. The partners will forward any info request about me to him. I'm told that so are the senior managers.
I had one interview and learned from my headhunter that they had heard not good things from my company and I was passed on. The second interview I had, I think I just messed up and seemed angry. I am angry.

It's not that we can live comfortably on one salary (hubs) it's that we can make it work. I just don't know how I am going to move on and explain this. I worked with the man who is making all of this happen at a previous company. He knows me. My previous company termed him and I managed his entire exit and made it as easy as possible. I knew he was a problem but thought I could manage it.
 
You only had two interviews. You need to keep trying. If you know people there (or others who don't work there) who will give you a good review/reference, list them as references with phone numbers. Maybe the prospective employer will call them direct & they will talk to the prospective employer.

Good luck.

(If you get an interview, just indicate you wanted a change and/or you believed you were no longer a fit for that particular employer.)
 
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Maybe I'm missing something but I'm not sure why you are so angry. You resigned. They asked you to stay on until they found someone. They found someone and then made your resignation effective as they said they would. Perhaps they could have been more clear about how long they would allow you to overlap with the new employee or handled the notice with more finese but I really don't get how this undermines all the work you did for 4 years.
 
I feel like they turned on me. I even got a bit of a lecture from my boss on loyalty and he seemed very angry. I have never trusted my him and I believe he made me out to look bad to the owners to save face. He did fight to hire me and get the HR dept up and running. I've know him to tell lies before to get out of scrapes. It's not that I think I am/was irreplaceable but I did the best to leave professionally and friendly. I was extremely loyal and a good employee for 4 years. Good reviews, raises, bonuses...

Quitting a job without a new one, biggest mistake ever. I felt like I was getting at least 2 calls a month from headhunters during the summer and fall so it wouldn't be too hard to move on but now I feel like a piranha and I can't use these guys as refs. If I know my boss he has instructed any calls regarding me to go to him. People kind of fear him as he has the owners ears so no doubt they will do so. I have a good relationship with a former owner who left and they told me that she had told the principle owner that she thought I was treated unfairly and the prin. owner responded with "why would you believe anything Dawn says?" That killed me.
I can maybe use the previous co-owner but I only worked with her for half of my time there.
Can I say that I resigned and they chose to terminate my employment immediately? Maybe say it was standard practice? Say that the job had changed and their view of the value of HR was not what I had to offer? ??

I had a fellow HR friend call to verify my employment on friday and she was directed to my boss who would only verify dates and said I was not eligible for rehire.
 
You said your boss gave you a bit of a lecture on loyalty - it might be because you decided to quit the company & after he fought to get you hired. You can't take things too personally & you have to do what you believe is best for you even if that means quitting your job.

It's up to you what you want to tell prospective employers. I would tell them the truth - that you resigned due to needing a change/the HR dept. was no longer a fit for you at that company. Also that they asked you to stay on until they found someone to take your place & when they did, they let you go as planned.

Why don't you go ahead & list the former owner as a reference.

Good luck. It's always best "when possible" not to quit a job until you have another. If your boss is telling prospective employers only your dates of employment & that you are not eligible for rehire, I don't believe that will keep every prospective employer from hiring you. A lot of former employees are not eligible for rehire for "various" reasons & not always because you weren't a good employee.
 
No employer is going to be happy to have an employee quit on them unless it is to breathe a sigh of relief when a difficult one goes. Leaving because you don't like it there doesn't send them warm fuzzy feelings and I would expect your employer to take it somewhat personally. Leaving for a better opportunity is one thing, leaving because you just can't stand the place is another. It sounds like there are hurt feelings on both sides. The best you can do is move on and keep things professional as best as you can.

As for references, and here I speak from experience, I would include someone with whom you worked at this company, but also the names of some professional contacts. Surely you have vendors, colleagues from professional organizations, clients, former co-workers, or others who can vouch for your character and knowledge.
 
I have numerous refs from former employers/bosses; I'm not sure what this company will say though. The chat about my loyalty issues with this company and how they now can't trust me was crushing. I did everything right. The person who stepped in could have just ran with everything I set up. I know I am taking this the wrong way but I am just so shocked that it was handled this way.
The fact that the Sr partner commented "why would you believe anything she says" is overwhelming considering I was nothing but honest and fair. I'm not kidding when I tell you that my boss told me "when the partners object to something just tell them it's a law and they have to follow it; They don't know anything about business."

I almost think I need to see a therapist. Seriously. I feel like damaged goods. If somebody sits in front of me in an interview and can't use their previous company they "quit" as a ref I would be so curious about what really happened. I think I can use the owner who got bought out. I may also be able to use one of her employees who left with her. He was an SVP and both of them were very difficult to work with. I succeeded and gained their respect.
 
If your reaction to being let go upon the hiring of a replacement because you resigned is this extreme, then yes, I would highly suggest seeing a counselor. You left for no reason other than you weren't happy there. Why would your employer be happy about that? I'm not saying you made the wrong decision but how did you think they would take it when you resigned out of the blue because you thought it was such an awful place? It doesn't exactly give the employer a warm fuzzy feeling about you or how you view the business. With your background in HR I'm shocked you don't see this.
 
You also noted your boss fought to get you hired - that could make him very unhappy that you ended up resigning.

It probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist but, of course, that is your decision.
 
Dawn: I had a situation several employers back where I was trying to move an employer into compliance in a number of areas, they were pushing back. It reached the point where I had to play ball their way or do something else, I chose the latter.

When asked to explain the departure I stated that "As a matter of professional ethics I am bound to protect the confidentiality of a former employer's operations and would never air dirty laundry even to get a job". The interviewer still needs an explanation so I added, "However I can say that I found myself in a situation unique in my career of having to make a choice between leaving my job or changing the standards I've always lived by". I let the potential employer know that both my predecessor and successor left the same company within months as well.

Incidentally,this employer did initially contest my UI claim, but when I suggested to the investigator that they ask the employer "would I have been fired had I not resigned?" they responded that I would, so the claim was upheld.

Your situation isn't quite the same but hopefully you can get an idea about how to walk an interviewer around the issue without appearing to dodge it, or trashing the former employer.
Suggestions:
1) I wouldn't focus on the size or the employer, lots of HR pros handle way more than 200 people. Of course we know that our tech systems, processes, and people we interface with can make the job bearable or impossible regardless of the headcount, I'd focus on this instead.
2) It's to your credit that you recognized that you were in a no-win situation and were willing to step down voluntarily.
3) It's also to your credit that you were professional enough to stay to interview and partially train your replacement. I would be sure to mention that the employer requested that you delay your exit, this says that your employer valued your knowledge enough to want you to stay a short time. While it wasn't very professional of them to they ended the extension in the manner that they did, that was their call. Not something I'd mention in an interview.
4) It's important to have a brief, concise explanation on this. Cite your accomplishments and be up-beat about your experience there then move on to the next question.
Good luck in your search.
 
Thanks everybody. All posts in response have been so helpful.
This is so hard to move on from. When I am alone, I practice what I could or would say about my leaving the company and then I get myself into a "talking to yourself rant" - which helps in no way because I get angry at the unfairness and wrong-ness of it all. I have a call at 3 today to see about a contract job.
I'm not giving up but I do tend to get very emotional about the termination and the way it happened. I really hope Karma is real. I should have some decent karma coming.
FTR, I worked for a celebrity publicity PR firm and that in itself is kind of tough due to personalities but I can really handle just about anything except this - maybe now this too which will make me stronger?
Thanks again everybody. You guys are gold.
 
You're welcome & the best of luck to you.
 
Dawn, I'd try to set up a few practice interviews so you can get used to addressing the topic from different perspectives. Networking groups, transition groups and some SHRM chapters may be able to help you with this. A fellow HR pro in your area could also do so, but I usually advise against just using friends.
Good luck
 
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