My jurisdiction is: Not sure
My parents divorced in 1981 when I was 8 and we were living in KY. We then moved to MT. My mother had custody of me and my 2 brothers, and my father had visitation. It was a very acrimonious divorce- my parents could not stand to be in the same room with each other or talk to each other.
I missed my father a lot and kept asking when I could go live with him.
When I was nine, my mother took me aside and said the reason I could not go live with my father was because he had sexually molested me, and that I had gone into shock and suppressed the memory of it. I know now this is what is called parental alienation, but at the time in 1982 being 9, I was in no position to understand what was going on. Even then, I did not quite believe it had happened, but since it was my mother telling me this, I could not quite disbelieve it either. I remember being sent to some child psychologists shortly afterward who were probably trying to figure out if I had symptoms of sexual abuse. But I kept missing my father and eventually when I was 13 and kept asking, I was able to go live with him. It took me most of the rest of my life to piece together what had happened, and my father has never abused me.
I am now the age my mother was when she lied to me, and I simply cannot understand how she could have done that to me. To have your own mother act so destructively toward you when you are just a kid is something so unbelievably damaging to the child. I cannot even talk to my mother anymore because she just wants to act like nothing ever happened, and I am the one living with the results.
I now live in DC and she lives in PA. My father lives overseas. I have recently begun, through therapy and reading, to understand that what happened to me should never have happened. I want to do something about it, but am not sure what. Sue my own mother? Not sure I want to go through that. And it's been so long.
But a lot of the literature I am reading on PA paints it as a crime against the alienated parent. But the real damage is done to the child, who has no recourse at the time to do anything. I did not have any rights then. Do I have any now? I think it would be helpful to send a message to a parent that is engaging in PA behavior that their child has rights too.
My parents divorced in 1981 when I was 8 and we were living in KY. We then moved to MT. My mother had custody of me and my 2 brothers, and my father had visitation. It was a very acrimonious divorce- my parents could not stand to be in the same room with each other or talk to each other.
I missed my father a lot and kept asking when I could go live with him.
When I was nine, my mother took me aside and said the reason I could not go live with my father was because he had sexually molested me, and that I had gone into shock and suppressed the memory of it. I know now this is what is called parental alienation, but at the time in 1982 being 9, I was in no position to understand what was going on. Even then, I did not quite believe it had happened, but since it was my mother telling me this, I could not quite disbelieve it either. I remember being sent to some child psychologists shortly afterward who were probably trying to figure out if I had symptoms of sexual abuse. But I kept missing my father and eventually when I was 13 and kept asking, I was able to go live with him. It took me most of the rest of my life to piece together what had happened, and my father has never abused me.
I am now the age my mother was when she lied to me, and I simply cannot understand how she could have done that to me. To have your own mother act so destructively toward you when you are just a kid is something so unbelievably damaging to the child. I cannot even talk to my mother anymore because she just wants to act like nothing ever happened, and I am the one living with the results.
I now live in DC and she lives in PA. My father lives overseas. I have recently begun, through therapy and reading, to understand that what happened to me should never have happened. I want to do something about it, but am not sure what. Sue my own mother? Not sure I want to go through that. And it's been so long.
But a lot of the literature I am reading on PA paints it as a crime against the alienated parent. But the real damage is done to the child, who has no recourse at the time to do anything. I did not have any rights then. Do I have any now? I think it would be helpful to send a message to a parent that is engaging in PA behavior that their child has rights too.
