hi, thanks for your help. i live in clark county (las vegas). my husband has taken off to new york and i receive no child support for our 4 year old son. i do everything myself. he is very immature and irresponsible. my son is well provided for by me. i know what is best for him and that is to be with me full time which he currently is now because his father took off. im afraid he's going to come back and fight me for our son after abandoning him. is him taking off and going to new york grounds for abandonment and sole custody?? what is my next step? thanks
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Abandonment?... sole custody?
- Thread Starter jmmax46
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WhirledPeas
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At this point, your husband has equal rights to the child and could come and take him at any point. You could try for sole physical custody, you're likely to get it as you've been the primary caretaker. (How long has this been the case?) You're unlikely to exclude him completely from having a right to a relationship with his child after he comes to his senses (if he does), but you can ask. If he doesn't reply to the legally served paperwork, you may get what you ask for. If he does, he'll likely get regular visitation.
A separate matter is child support which you can request as well. The two matters are seen separately in the eyes of the law.
A separate matter is child support which you can request as well. The two matters are seen separately in the eyes of the law.
we seperated (not legally) back in march 08. i have been with my child and been providing everything for him since. he never helps out with the child. never gave money for food, clothing, and other reltaed expenses. he left for new york in september so i have had my son by myself now for 3 months. i get no help from him at all. he has abandoned us here. how do i get sole physical custody? or what other steps should i be taking?
WhirledPeas
New Member
To obtain custody and/or child support, you must file for it at county court. The clerks office can guide you to the paperwork you need and there may be additional services available to you. If your county court has a website, you may find additional resources there as well.
WhirledPeas
New Member
Yes, you'll be required to legally serve him with the paperwork. Yes, you'll need to appear before the judge. If your husband chooses to appear, he can, if not, the judge may enter a ruling without his input.
well what if i argue to the judge that he abandoned his son and how do i know he won't do it again to my child? im looking to get as much physical custody as possible very very limited visitation for his father perhaps even supervised. my son wants to be with me and will cry if he has to go with his dad, does that have any say in court (he's 4 years old)?
WhirledPeas
New Member
If you go into court sounding like you want to punish dad for "abandoning" you by limiting contact, it won't go well. Judges tend to favor parents who provide primary care AND who facilitate the other parent's involvement when deciding on where the child will primarily reside.
Something much more detrimental that what you've mentioned would likely have had to occur for dad to get limited visitation at this point. Simply leaving and then coming back could be construed as a vacation, he had to work, he needed a break from you, he had a sick mother, who knows.
And no, four year olds don't get to decide where they live, they're four. In my opinion, if dad wants to reunite with his child at some point, your job as mom is to help your son see that as a good thing. After three months, your son still knows who dad is. Limited, supervised or graduated visitation is for abusive parents or for kids who don't know who their parents are, not for little boys who don't need any more barriers between them and their dad.
Does it suck? Yes. Will it break your heart? Absolutely. But it must be done. If a much longer time goes by and he never shows up, you'll have a different problem and it won't get any easier on your son.
Something much more detrimental that what you've mentioned would likely have had to occur for dad to get limited visitation at this point. Simply leaving and then coming back could be construed as a vacation, he had to work, he needed a break from you, he had a sick mother, who knows.
And no, four year olds don't get to decide where they live, they're four. In my opinion, if dad wants to reunite with his child at some point, your job as mom is to help your son see that as a good thing. After three months, your son still knows who dad is. Limited, supervised or graduated visitation is for abusive parents or for kids who don't know who their parents are, not for little boys who don't need any more barriers between them and their dad.
Does it suck? Yes. Will it break your heart? Absolutely. But it must be done. If a much longer time goes by and he never shows up, you'll have a different problem and it won't get any easier on your son.
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