A Father's Rights

[CS1974]

I am an expecting father, who is no longer with the mother to be. As such she is threatening to move out of state before she gives birth. Also as retaliation for the two of us splitting she plans to sign another man's name on the birth certificate and give my child his last name. What can I do if anything to stop her from fleeing the state (NY)?
This will be my first child and she knows being separated from my son/daughter will hurt me (limiting the time I can spend with them). All of this is happening because I refuse to give her another chance at a relationship. I have emails and text messages to which she has stated what she plans to do as well as her telling me, if I come around her or call her she will file an order of protection against me. Now I have never threaten or physically touch her in any misappropriate way. I feel somewhat of an underdog because she is a NYC school safety officer and being so she has alot of NYPD friends. What can I do?



There is one thing I did forget.....because of her age (36 and the fact she is high risk) she does have to take an amniocentesis test at 16 weeks. Now I am not sure but I do believe they can do a DNA test off the fluid, the real question is how would I get access to the fluid to do a paternity test? Especially if NotSunkYet is correct and I need to stay away from her to protect myself from getting an false order placed against me.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

You are not married to this woman, correct? If so, until paternity has been established there is no legally determined father in this relationship.

Gail

 

[BayState]

I am an expecting father, who is no longer with the mother to be. As such she is threatening to move out of state before she gives birth. Also as retaliation for the two of us splitting she plans to sign another man's name on the birth certificate and give my child his last name. What can I do if anything to stop her from fleeing the state (NY)?
This will be my first child and she knows being separated from my son/daughter will hurt me (limiting the time I can spend with them). All of this is happening because I refuse to give her another chance at a relationship. I have emails and text messages to which she has stated what she plans to do as well as her telling me, if I come around her or call her she will file an order of protection against me. Now I have never threaten or physically touch her in any misappropriate way. I feel somewhat of an underdog because she is a NYC school safety officer and being so she has alot of NYPD friends. What can I do?

While I don't disagree with Gail it MAY be possible to file now for paternity with a RO preventing her from leaving the state without the courts permission. It's MAY be possible. You should consult with a VERY good Family Law Attorney and see if NY State Statutes would allow this.

 

[Duranie]

Almost impossible to keep this woman from leaving the state. As an unmarried father where paternity has not even been established, you have little to no rights. No court is going to order a DNA test in utero due to the risks it presents. You might want to see if you state, and the state she is moving to has a presumptive fathers registry. You need to get on that. Also after the baby is born you have every right to serve her to establish paternity. You might want to consult with an attorney.

 

[NotSunkYet]

I am an expecting father, who is no longer with the mother to be. As such she is threatening to move out of state before she gives birth. Also as retaliation for the two of us splitting she plans to sign another man's name on the birth certificate and give my child his last name. What can I do if anything to stop her from fleeing the state (NY)?
This will be my first child and she knows being separated from my son/daughter will hurt me (limiting the time I can spend with them). All of this is happening because I refuse to give her another chance at a relationship. I have emails and text messages to which she has stated what she plans to do as well as her telling me, if I come around her or call her she will file an order of protection against me. Now I have never threaten or physically touch her in any misappropriate way. I feel somewhat of an underdog because she is a NYC school safety officer and being so she has alot of NYPD friends. What can I do?

CS1974,

Keep in mind; I am not in the legal profession at all. This is what I've learned. Firstly, the Mother of your child sounds a bit immature but a lawyer (one that you will most likely be made to pay for) will straighten her out quick or even her friendly neighborhood Social Services Government Employee. If it isn't a top priority to her at the moment, it will be soon after delivery… Child Support. Make sure that you get on any putative registry that there may be in your state if you indeed want to assert your parental rights. Don't let someone tell you there is no such thing or that you don't have to sign it until after the child is born or whatever. Find out for yourself what the laws in your state and the state she is threatening to move to are and get a lawyer well versed in Family Law. Please, make sure that once the child is born that DNA testing be performed ASAP. You sound like a loving father that any child would be lucky to have but don't let yourself be strapped into 18+ years of child support for a child that may not be yours.

Being the unwed father of an unborn child you have fewer rights, which isn't saying much, than a wedded one. If she succeeds in getting another man to sign-on as the father and he is not willing to be such he will be on the hook for 18+ years of Child Support. Unless he of course is savvy enough to timely order paternity testing and then only if a miracle happens in the Family Law Court that allows him to bow out. Basically, courts don't really care who the father is they just care that they have a paycheck to garnish. And to that end they take the mothers word for it, no questions asked.

So in essence, she is threatening you with a get out of financial jail free card. Not too smart on her part. The state has every financial incentive to get a male name on that birth certificate so that it can start child support garnishments. It's called Title IV-D of the Social Security Act.

If this is your child and you want to be a part of your child's life, you have a fight on your hands and the Family Law System is there, waiting for you to pump tens of thousands of dollars into their coffers. You must choose your attorney very wisely; make sure your attorney is well versed in Father's Rights. You are behind the 8-ball before you even begin. And don't let the moniker, "in the best interest of the child" fool you. The Family Law Industry, and that is what it is, an industry, is there for one purpose, to make a profit and they do, to the tune of billions annually, off of our nations children and feuding couples.

The courts will look oddly at you being a man that wants a relationship with his child. They think of you as nothing more than a paycheck with 'visitor' status, not a parent.

So again, find and pick wisely a family law attorney that can give you a track-record of protecting Fathers Rights.

Oh, and lastly do not go near her at all, even if she contacts you and asks you to meet her. One of the very successful custody ploys that is used by women is to file for and get groundless Orders of Protection. You will be labeled a criminal and be made to pay thousands of dollars to attend Anger Management Classes. It's all part of the Industry.

I wish you well and pray even more that you find the right road to this very troubling situation.

 

[irish223]

While I don't disagree with Gail it MAY be possible to file now for paternity with a RO preventing her from leaving the state without the courts permission. It's MAY be possible. You should consult with a VERY good Family Law Attorney and see if NY State Statutes would allow this.

It is possible to begin a paternity action prior to birth in NY. Here are links to get started:

http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/familycourt/paternity.shtml

http://www.courts.state.ny.us/forms/familycourt/pdfs/5-1.pdf

I also agree that you should have an attorney.

 

[CS1974]

looking for a good lawyer now