15 year old daughter kept by her father in the U.S.

[Ikbenhetbeu]

Jurisdiction

North Carolina

My 15 year old daughter left last week to the United States to visit her father. I live in Belgium and that's the country of her main residence. He has visitation rights. He called me yesterday to inform me if I do not come to the U.S. to pick her up, she will not come back. He knows that I cannot afford an expensive airline ticket and hotel. What should I do?

 

[army judge]

My 15 year old daughter left last week to the United States to visit her father. I live in Belgium and that's the country of her main residence. He has visitation rights. He called me yesterday to inform me if I do not come to the U.S. to pick her up, she will not come back. He knows that I cannot afford an expensive airline ticket and hotel. What should I do?

I suggest you contact your Belgian law enforcement agencies and see what help the criminal justice system can offer you in Belgium.

I won't say anymore at the moment, because you're still processing what happened.

I am sure this is all very upsetting, so contact the police in your city and see what they suggest.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

I suggest you contact your Belgian law enforcement agencies and see what help the criminal justice system can offer you in Belgium.

I won't say anymore at the moment, because you're still processing what happened.

I am sure this is all very upsetting, so contact the police in your city and see what they suggest.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

I already contacted some lawyers in North Carolina to see how I can get help. Could he keep her there against her will? She clearly sated that she wants to come home.

 

[army judge]

I already contacted some lawyers in North Carolina to see how I can get help. Could he keep her there against her will? She clearly sated that she wants to come home.

You don't want me to answer that.

Please, Please, Please, report this to the police in Belgium.

You can visit the US Embassy or US Consulate and ask one of the embassy officials about what help might be available to you.

Contacting lawyers at this point in the US will be a waste of money and time.

Work within the laws of Belgium FIRST.

One question, if I may.

Is your daughter's father an active duty member of any US Military force?

If so, do you hold legal guardianship of the child?

What country granted the guardianship?

Were you and the father married when the girl was born?

How did the man in the US go about establishing his paternity?

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Last thing, if you are the legal guardian, and you were not married when the child was born, it could speed things up if you cam to the US.

Otherwise, this could take a very long time to resolve the way you to resolve it with your child back in your country in your home.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

You don't want me to answer that.

Please, Please, Please, report this to the police in Belgium.

You can visit the US Embassy or US Consulate and ask one of the embassy officials about what help might be available to you.

Contacting lawyers at this point in the US will be a waste of money and time.

Work within the laws of Belgium FIRST.

One question, if I may.

Is your daughter's father an active duty member of any US Military force?

If so, do you hold legal guardianship of the child?

What country granted the guardianship?

Were you and the father married when the girl was born?

How did the man in the US go about establishing his paternity?

You don't want me to answer that.

Please, Please, Please, report this to the police in Belgium.

You can visit the US Embassy or US Consulate and ask one of the embassy officials about what help might be available to you.

Contacting lawyers at this point in the US will be a waste of money and time.

Work within the laws of Belgium FIRST.

One question, if I may.

Is your daughter's father an active duty member of any US Military force?

If so, do you hold legal guardianship of the child?

What country granted the guardianship?

Were you and the father married when the girl was born?

How did the man in the US go about establishing his paternity?

--------------------------------------------------


Last thing, if you are the legal guardian, and you were not married when the child was born, it could speed things up if you cam to the US.

Otherwise, this could take a very long time to resolve the way you to resolve it with your child back in your country in your home.

He is retired military and working as a DOD civilian. I have main custody and he has visitation rights established by a Belgian Court Order and registered at the Cumberland county court house. We were married for 17 years and divorced 5 years ago. Our daughter is 15 years old.

 

[army judge]

He is retired military and working as a DOD civilian. I have main custody and he has visitation rights established by a Belgian Court Order and registered at the Cumberland county court house. We were married for 17 years and divorced 5 years ago. Our daughter is 15 years old.

As suggested, contact Belgian Police first, see what the cops say can be done.

Retired military, might as well as have never been military, because that takes away certain quick solutions that could have helped you.

The quickest way for you now is to come to the US, go to the sheriff, show the sheriff your papers, ask the sheriff to meet you where the girl is being held, go there, have the sheriff seize the child, give the child to you, get on a plane back to Belgium, and never allow the child to travel internationally again without you being present.

Now, there might be a few wrinkles, so start contacting Belgian police, US Embassy or consulate, and working on getting that airline ticket.

The longer you wait, the harder it will be to resolve it in your favor.

You might try trickery, and tell the kidnapper that you would gladly come to the US if he sent you the money to buy a ticket in Belgium, becaue tickets to the US are cheaper when bought outside the US.

Then you try to get money for the child's ticket to quickly return to Belgium.

 

[ElleMD]

This is one for your consulate office. They can guide you as to what remedies are available. It varies country to country. If it is just a matter of him not putting her on a transatlantic flight alone, borrow the money if you must as any other remedy to enforce your order is going to cost more than a plane ticket.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

This is one for your consulate office. They can guide you as to what remedies are available. It varies country to country. If it is just a matter of him not putting her on a transatlantic flight alone, borrow the money if you must as any other remedy to enforce your order is going to cost more than a plane ticket.

He has a tendency of blocking my contact with her. I have been trying to reach her for a day now and cannot get in touch with her. How many days do I have to wait until I contact the authorities?

 

[army judge]

He has a tendency of blocking my contact with her. I have been trying to reach her for a day now and cannot get in touch with her. How many days do I have to wait until I contact the authorities?

You shouldn't wait another hour.
Contact the US Embassy, US Consulate, and Belgian Police ASAP on Thursday, during the business day.

 

[ElleMD]

Foreign police are not going to be any help as they lack jurisdiction in the US, just as the police in the US cannot act in other countries.

Be;lgium and the US are both subject to the Hague Convention for child abduction. As part of that, the government must have an office which assists in these matters. I don't know which office it is in Belgium but the embassy or consulate can help coordinate with the DOJ here. They do not enforce all parts of a custody agreement such as how often you must have contact by phone, or how travel is arranged, but if he really and truly will not return the child, and she is under 16, you do have recourse.

 

[army judge]

The local police can contact Interpol, who can coordinate with US authorities in assisting with the child's return to the legal guardian or parent.

It's just one step in what will be an involved process.

 

[ElleMD]

This isn't how it works for countries part of the Hague Convention. The local police simply can not do anything meaningful here.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

This isn't how it works for countries part of the Hague Convention. The local police simply can not do anything meaningful here.

I contacted a lawyer in Fayetteville NC and he said he could not advise me because "there is a conflict of interest". What does this mean?

 

[ElleMD]

Perhaps he knows your ex or has represented your ex. A lawyer in NC isn't going to be much help either. You have a court order in Belgium. US courts can not enforce your order, nor can a US attorney act in Belgium. You need to contact the agency in Belgium who handles child abductions, assuming your ex is actually abducting her and not just insisting you participate in retrieving your daughter.

HCCH | Full text

Any person, institution or other body claiming that a child has been removed or retained in breach of custody rights may apply either to the Central Authority of the child's habitual residence or to the Central Authority of any other Contracting State for assistance in securing the return of the child.

In the US, that is the National Center For Missing and Exploited Children. Belgium has an equivalent agency. Not being from Belgium, I don't know what that is, but you should be able to find out fairly easily. The Embassy/consulate can put you in touch with the US agency. The only thing the local police might be able to do is tell you the name of the agency in Belgium, though they are far from the only source of that information and the officer you speak with may not know the answer.

 

[army judge]

This isn't how it works for countries part of the Hague Convention. The local police simply can not do anything meaningful here.

Maybe, maybe not, I don't mean to be contentious.
Some of the information I share with our posters, Elle, is to keep them engaged.
I've learned that the busier people are when trouble arrives, by being active it lessens the immediate mental toll.

That said, I've also learned that some people want to hear advice from as many people as possible.

It's by no means accurate, but its the way I operate.

I'm sure you have your own method of dispensing information, too.

I don't see information dispensed by ten people as a competition.
Hopefully, those with issues can mine a valuable nugget in all that is said here.

For my part, I'm neither pleased or displeased by the actions of others.

The only time I take notice is if information shared is just patently incorrect.

Otherwise, live and let live, posters can choose to act or ignore on anything I say.

 

[army judge]

I contacted a lawyer in Fayetteville NC and he said he could not advise me because "there is a conflict of interest". What does this mean?

Try contacting the nearest US consulate, or the US Embassy.

Oops, the US doesn't have a consulate in Belgium.

Call the US Embassy, do it Friday.

Forget contacting anyone in the US, until you've reached out to the US Embassy, and the Belgian Government:

Government of Belgium: Useful links - OECD

Here you go:

Contact Us | Brussels, Belgium - Embassy of the United States


Home | Brussels, Belgium - Embassy of the United States


US Embassy Brussels | Facebook

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

Try contacting the nearest US consulate, or the US Embassy.

Oops, the US doesn't have a consulate in Belgium.

Call the US Embassy, do it Friday.

Forget contacting anyone in the US, until you've reached out to the US Embassy, and the Belgian Government:

Government of Belgium: Useful links - OECD

Here you go:

Contact Us | Brussels, Belgium - Embassy of the United States


Home | Brussels, Belgium - Embassy of the United States


US Embassy Brussels | Facebook

Thank you.

I contacted his brother in law through a private message through Facebook. I told him I was "contacted by ... and he threatened to keep our daughter in the US and asked if he could reason with him" Can my ex use this statement against me claiming defamation? He already made false accusations against me 5 years ago so he could get custody of our daughter and it was dismissed by the judge. My ex has been going to the extreme to make my life very difficult, he's very controlling and he will not shy away from accusing me of anything. Could I have to go to court over this and can I be held in the country? I'm almost sure that he contacted a lawyer already.

 

[army judge]

No, you won't be held in the US based on coming here to collect your child.

At a time like this, start thinking ONLY of the reunification of your family.

Stop thinking about the male, alleged to be her father.

Stop thinking of yourself.

Think only of your child.

Your MISTAKE was trusting the vile human being who purports to be a father and allowing your child to travel to the US alone (at 15 years of age) to visit a man she barely knows.

In the future, simply say no to him.

Better yet, stop taking his lousy support money, stand on your own two feet, raise your child.

It should have been obvious to you 14 years ago that this BUM was never going to be the husband, lover, DECENT HUMAN BEING, or father to your child you wanted in your life.

Stop wasting your time communicating with the DEADBEAT, KIDNAPPING, BULLY, and ABUSER and ANY of his family and friends.

Getting your child back won't be simple.
It won't be easy.
It will take the assistance of two governments, and the courts.
It won't happen quickly.
So, have some patience.
This will take time.
Ast comment, you might never see your child until she's an adult.
Yes, that's horrible.
But, it might be a fact that that you'll be dealing with for three or four years, or even MORE years.

Never allow any child to travel anywhere alone.

Good luck.

 

[Ikbenhetbeu]

No, you won't be held in the US based on coming here to collect your child.

At a time like this, start thinking ONLY of the reunification of your family.

Stop thinking about the male, alleged to be her father.

Stop thinking of yourself.

Think only of your child.

Your MISTAKE was trusting the vile human being who purports to be a father and allowing your child to travel to the US alone (at 15 years of age) to visit a man she barely knows.

In the future, simply say no to him.

Better yet, stop taking his lousy support money, stand on your own two feet, raise your child.

It should have been obvious to you 14 years ago that this BUM was never going to be the husband, lover, DECENT HUMAN BEING, or father to your child you wanted in your life.

Stop wasting your time communicating with the DEADBEAT, KIDNAPPING, BULLY, and ABUSER and ANY of his family and friends.

Getting your child back won't be simple.
It won't be easy.
It will take the assistance of two governments, and the courts.
It won't happen quickly.
So, have some patience.
This will take time.
Ast comment, you might never see your child until she's an adult.
Yes, that's horrible.
But, it might be a fact that that you'll be dealing with for three or four years, or even MORE years.

Never allow any child to travel anywhere alone.

Good luck.

Hello, thank you for your advice but may I remind you that there is a court order in place that would put him in contempt of court when he holds her back?