hopefuldad
New Member
In order for you to get a full and accurate understanding as to what has transpired in the past 14 years, I will give you a brief (as brief as possible) history of my relationship with my daughter since she was born.
Born in FL in 96; she was conceived in PA when I was 17 and her mom was 15. At that time mom was "temporarily" living with her father but was then forced back to FL to live with her mom, which is why my daughter was born in FL. Mom lived with her parents, child's grandparents until my daughter was 3. She had alot of issues back then; she was a runaway, used drugs, alcohol and had a lot of issues with the law. Once mom got her own place it wasn't but a ferw short months later when CYS were called and she was found unfit. My daughter was placed in temp. care of grandparents for a few months until I received full custody in PA. At this ime my daughter was 4 years old.
Mom and grandparents all moved to PA once I was granted custody. Mom was only permitted supervised visits, but eventually filed and got visitation. I had custody from 8/00 thru 9/04. Most of the time my daughter was in my care things were great. It was in 04 that I became addicted to pain pills. Grandparents were fighting for partial custody. I was accused of theft and placed in jail. These charges were all eventually dropped as they were not true, but during this time my daughter was placed in temp. custody of grandparents since my wife was not the biological mother (even beside the fact that my wife had heped raise her for the past 4 1/2 years).
Non the less, it became a 3 ring circus. It was a custody battle between mom, grandparents and I. Mom had married and she and her hubby were also drug addicts, there drug of choice was cocaine. Unfortunately for me, she was better at hiding her addiction and received physical custody in 05. Our court order stated that I have partial custody and that we would mutually agree on visitation dates and times because we felt that we were responsible enough to do so. I honestly believed mom would work with me. She didnt, really. I was able to see my daughter when it was convenient for her. I went along with it because I couldn't afford to go back to court.
In 05 shortly after mom got physical custody I moved 130 miles away. It was a decision my wife and I made in order to better our lives. We have lived here since then and our lives have never been better. We are clean, I have my own business, my wife has had the same job for 4 years, we have 3 other children together, my oldest son is a straight A student and excels at everything, we are very active in our church and our community. I have to admit, when we first moved it was financially difficult for me to make the drive frequently to see my daughter. I did when I could and almost always on Holidays. The visitation was "acceptable" until May 09. I had a falling out with mom. She always wanted to control everything and I got tired of being dictated as to what I could say to my daughter and so on and so forth. Finally what broke the camels back was in Nov. when I received a text stating that I would not be permitted to see my daughter over the holidays. We exchanged some heated words and mom ended up blocking all of my lines of communication. I told her I was done and I would be filing to have visitation at my home. Prior to that mom would only allow me to visit in my old hometown. From that point things went down hil drastically. I have been completely alienated from my daughter. Mom allows the child to read all correspondence between us. She has made my daughter believe I am a horrible person and my daughter refuses to come to my home. I did file for a modification to the order since it was so vague and mom has denied me all but 1 visit since the order was place (which she originally agreed to). I am also permitted "reasonable" phone calls every Wed. at 8, I have not had a "reasonable" conversation yet. Mom sits in the background telling my daughter what to say. She mocks me and is very ignorant. She talks to me in a way that no child should be permitted to talk to an adult. I do have texts saved in my phone from her which show the way she is treating me.
I am at my wits end and am very hurt! My daughter and I had no problems just less than a year ago. Now she hates me. I know it is because she does not want to come to my house. She has even told me that if I would drop it she wouldn't act this way. I feel that I have a right to visit where I live. This whole situation is insane. My daughter's mother is abusing her mentally by the damaging things she has put in my daughter's mind. The latest excuse is that she is "afraid" of me. My current wife and I had a really bad argument when my daughter lived with us. I have never even laid a finger on her, or anyone else for that matter. But I believe my daughter's mother has told her that if she says she is afraid she won't have to come with me. It is all a lie and obviously there were never any issues in the past.
I have filed contempt papers, but I am very curious to know how I can expect this to play out. Will I be denied my rights as a father? When I am able to prove what her mother has done, will the courts stll believe that it is in her best interest to be with mom? At this point I would rather see her in foster care because her mom is mentally abusing her and she doesn't even realize! I am sorry for giving you so much info, I just wanted to make sure you have all the info!
I also would like to add that mom's husband recently signed his rights away to his 14 year old daughter to a prior relationship. The reason they say is because the child was miserable at their house. I don't know if this has any pertinence or not. Also, mom and step dad both have a lengthy history in the courts. Step dad beat mom one time, but my daughter doesn't know that. In fact, my daughter knows nothing about her mom, yet her mom feels the need to inform my daughter about every mistake I have ever made. She also discusses the child support with my daughter. Mom also told daughter that if she doesn't want to come she won't have to. (Ok...I'm done rambling...sorry!)
Born in FL in 96; she was conceived in PA when I was 17 and her mom was 15. At that time mom was "temporarily" living with her father but was then forced back to FL to live with her mom, which is why my daughter was born in FL. Mom lived with her parents, child's grandparents until my daughter was 3. She had alot of issues back then; she was a runaway, used drugs, alcohol and had a lot of issues with the law. Once mom got her own place it wasn't but a ferw short months later when CYS were called and she was found unfit. My daughter was placed in temp. care of grandparents for a few months until I received full custody in PA. At this ime my daughter was 4 years old.
Mom and grandparents all moved to PA once I was granted custody. Mom was only permitted supervised visits, but eventually filed and got visitation. I had custody from 8/00 thru 9/04. Most of the time my daughter was in my care things were great. It was in 04 that I became addicted to pain pills. Grandparents were fighting for partial custody. I was accused of theft and placed in jail. These charges were all eventually dropped as they were not true, but during this time my daughter was placed in temp. custody of grandparents since my wife was not the biological mother (even beside the fact that my wife had heped raise her for the past 4 1/2 years).
Non the less, it became a 3 ring circus. It was a custody battle between mom, grandparents and I. Mom had married and she and her hubby were also drug addicts, there drug of choice was cocaine. Unfortunately for me, she was better at hiding her addiction and received physical custody in 05. Our court order stated that I have partial custody and that we would mutually agree on visitation dates and times because we felt that we were responsible enough to do so. I honestly believed mom would work with me. She didnt, really. I was able to see my daughter when it was convenient for her. I went along with it because I couldn't afford to go back to court.
In 05 shortly after mom got physical custody I moved 130 miles away. It was a decision my wife and I made in order to better our lives. We have lived here since then and our lives have never been better. We are clean, I have my own business, my wife has had the same job for 4 years, we have 3 other children together, my oldest son is a straight A student and excels at everything, we are very active in our church and our community. I have to admit, when we first moved it was financially difficult for me to make the drive frequently to see my daughter. I did when I could and almost always on Holidays. The visitation was "acceptable" until May 09. I had a falling out with mom. She always wanted to control everything and I got tired of being dictated as to what I could say to my daughter and so on and so forth. Finally what broke the camels back was in Nov. when I received a text stating that I would not be permitted to see my daughter over the holidays. We exchanged some heated words and mom ended up blocking all of my lines of communication. I told her I was done and I would be filing to have visitation at my home. Prior to that mom would only allow me to visit in my old hometown. From that point things went down hil drastically. I have been completely alienated from my daughter. Mom allows the child to read all correspondence between us. She has made my daughter believe I am a horrible person and my daughter refuses to come to my home. I did file for a modification to the order since it was so vague and mom has denied me all but 1 visit since the order was place (which she originally agreed to). I am also permitted "reasonable" phone calls every Wed. at 8, I have not had a "reasonable" conversation yet. Mom sits in the background telling my daughter what to say. She mocks me and is very ignorant. She talks to me in a way that no child should be permitted to talk to an adult. I do have texts saved in my phone from her which show the way she is treating me.
I am at my wits end and am very hurt! My daughter and I had no problems just less than a year ago. Now she hates me. I know it is because she does not want to come to my house. She has even told me that if I would drop it she wouldn't act this way. I feel that I have a right to visit where I live. This whole situation is insane. My daughter's mother is abusing her mentally by the damaging things she has put in my daughter's mind. The latest excuse is that she is "afraid" of me. My current wife and I had a really bad argument when my daughter lived with us. I have never even laid a finger on her, or anyone else for that matter. But I believe my daughter's mother has told her that if she says she is afraid she won't have to come with me. It is all a lie and obviously there were never any issues in the past.
I have filed contempt papers, but I am very curious to know how I can expect this to play out. Will I be denied my rights as a father? When I am able to prove what her mother has done, will the courts stll believe that it is in her best interest to be with mom? At this point I would rather see her in foster care because her mom is mentally abusing her and she doesn't even realize! I am sorry for giving you so much info, I just wanted to make sure you have all the info!
I also would like to add that mom's husband recently signed his rights away to his 14 year old daughter to a prior relationship. The reason they say is because the child was miserable at their house. I don't know if this has any pertinence or not. Also, mom and step dad both have a lengthy history in the courts. Step dad beat mom one time, but my daughter doesn't know that. In fact, my daughter knows nothing about her mom, yet her mom feels the need to inform my daughter about every mistake I have ever made. She also discusses the child support with my daughter. Mom also told daughter that if she doesn't want to come she won't have to. (Ok...I'm done rambling...sorry!)
