100 Hilarious Jokes, Because No One Is Too Old to Laugh!

[adjusterjack]

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

 

[Tax Counsel]

I don't think anybody can tell this joke better than Ronald Reagan.

Ronald Reagan was a gifted speaker and that skill, honed from years of acting and radio broadcastung) contributed to his high popularity during his time in office. He had very good speech writers that knew Reagan well and what lines he could deliver very effectively. He used his abilities to try bridging the political gap between Republicans and Democrats which lead to a much higher level of political discourse in Washington than we are seeing today. Even those on Capitol Hill who opposed much of his policy personally liked Reagan. Thomas "Tip" O'Neill, the Democrat Speaker of House (and who held that post continously than any other speaker) often opposed Reagan's political agenda. But after Reagan was shot Tip was among the first to go and see him. They apparently got along on a personal basis just fine. We could do with more politicians like these who can argue politics but still are able to have friendly conversation with members of the opposing party.

 

[adjusterjack]

A wife arrives home on husband's day off.

She asks, "Hey Hubby, have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?

He says, "erm.., I dunno", why ?

She gives him a sexy smile, shakes her cleavage and says "I wonder what's in there?"

Husband smiles, reaches in and pulls out a $20 crumpled note.

Wife asks, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

Husband says, "No I haven't", and starts to grin.

She gives him another sexy smile and pulls up her skirt.

He reaches into her tight panties and pulls out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and starts breathing heavily.

"Now," she says, "have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"50,000 ?! Where do I see that ? he asks, eyes wide open and heavily aroused.

She says, "Go look in the garage."

 

[justblue]

A wife arrives home on husband's day off.

She asks, "Hey Hubby, have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?

He says, "erm.., I dunno", why ?

She gives him a sexy smile, shakes her cleavage and says "I wonder what's in there?"

Husband smiles, reaches in and pulls out a $20 crumpled note.

Wife asks, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

Husband says, "No I haven't", and starts to grin.

She gives him another sexy smile and pulls up her skirt.

He reaches into her tight panties and pulls out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and starts breathing heavily.

"Now," she says, "have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"50,000 ?! Where do I see that ? he asks, eyes wide open and heavily aroused.

She says, "Go look in the garage."

knew what was coming and still find it funny!