100 Hilarious Jokes, Because No One Is Too Old to Laugh!

justblue said:
Okay...now I must join Reddit!
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They have forums for each color of kitty; one of the ones for orange cat is OneOrangeBraincell. There is a forum just about cats that like to sit in boxes. One forum for black cats is devoted to pictures where visitors have to try to spot where the void kitty is. Another is for photos of very fluffy cats. A forum where photos and videos are posted of cats doing human jobs (aka training videos for cats once the take over the world). That's only a fraction of them. If there's something that's connected to cats there's a forum for it on Reddit. Clearly the cats are trying to feed us propacatana to brainwash humans into liking them enough for us to make their take over easier.
 
Tax Counsel said:
They have forums for each color of kitty; one of the ones for orange cat is OneOrangeBraincell. There is a forum just about cats that like to sit in boxes. One forum for black cats is devoted to pictures where visitors have to try to spot where the void kitty is. Another is for photos of very fluffy cats. A forum where photos and videos are posted of cats doing human jobs (aka training videos for cats once the take over the world). That's only a fraction of them. If there's something that's connected to cats there's a forum for it on Reddit. Clearly the cats are trying to feed us propacatana to brainwash humans into liking them enough for us to make their take over easier.
Click to expand...
I gotta ask...when did you develop your unique suspicions about cats taking control of the world? Did you have a cat that ruled the house and kept humans under its paw?
 
The Pope dies and stands before the Gates of Heaven.
He knocks, and St. Peter opens the Gate.
St.Peter: "Yes?? How can I help you??"
Pope: "I wanna speak with God."
St.Peter: "And you are ???"
Pope frustrated: "I'm the Pope!!!"
St. Peter: "Doesn't ring a bell."
Pope very angry: "I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH GOD!!!"
St.Peter closes the Gate and goes to God.
St.Peter: "My Lord, there is someone who wants to talk with you."
God: "Who?"
St.Peter: "He calls himself the Pope."
God: "Who is that supposed to be?"
St.Peter: "I don't know, what should we do with him??"
God: "Let Jesus talk with him, he spent some time down there."
Jesus goes to the Pope.
A few minutes later, Jesus returns laughing like there is no tomorrow.
God: "What's so funny, son??"
Jesus: "Father, you won't believe this, but that Fishing Club I founded 2000 years ago still exists!!!"
 
New invention - Mind control air freshener. Makes scents when you think about it. Works by smellekinesis.

A bird won a race wearing lingerie. It was victorious egret.

There's a 90 year old hip-hop artist. His name is Busta Hip.

There's a new dating app for old people. It's called carbon dating.

I'm reading an exciting book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

This could be another dyxlexia joke: A man goes to Jerusalem and stands at the Wailing Wall. Holding a harpoon.

What's Donald Duck's drug of choice? Quack cocaine.

What has four legs and a hand? A happy Pit Bull.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

Farmer is out with his sheep dog, he tells him to go round up all the sheep. Dog comes back with a herd of sheep, says "I've got them all, all 40." Farmer says "40?!? There should only be 37." Dog says "I know, I rounded them up."

A store clerk fought off a robber with his price gun. Police are now searching for a man with a price on his head.

How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty.
 

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