Child Support

My husband has a child with an ex girlfriend, they were never married. She recently left Iowa and moved to Washington (the state) to avoid people calling DHS and turning her in for child abuse. Which has been more than a few times. We have no way to contact her. We want to know if their is any way we could either get out of the child support order or at least lower it without having to take custody for the child? My husband has to pay the full amount because she didnt have a job when the support was ordered. She has a job on and off but we cant get it lowered because the DHS people told us we have to have proof of her employment and income but we cant get it unless she gives it to us? We dont know what to do, the support order is killing us and were barely able to afford our house? Please help us

why hasn't your husband filed for custody of the child? This should not be just about child support. He has to pay according to guidelines but if mom has has DHS called on her and the reports can be substantiated he should be filing for custody. He has to pay support and cannot get it lower just because mom moved. He needs to see whether or not the state guidelines allow for an income to be inputed for mom.

He hasnt filed for custody because we can barely afford daycare for our 2 year old and all of our bills

And it is about child support....were considered poverty right now and were paying a ridiculous amount of child support for to a person that cant keep a job. Theres no way the courts would even give us custody because my husband has only seen his other child twice since he was born.

Is there ANYTHING we can do to at least lower the support order

I'm a bit confused about your question. Your husband has a child he never sees whose mother abuses him and can't hold a job and you want us to tell you how to bring even fewer resources into the child's life so you can pay for a house you can't afford? I must be missing something.

WhirledPeas said:

I'm a bit confused about your question. Your husband has a child he never sees whose mother abuses him and can't hold a job and you want us to tell you how to bring even fewer resources into the child's life so you can pay for a house you can't afford? I must be missing something.

Click to expand...

Nope, I don't think you're missing a thing. I think you hit the nail on the head!

Hi Kayla, I am not an attorney do not have any legal background, but I do want to tell you I understand your concern. I too have a husband who is paying child support to two previous girlfriends and he too is suffering a huge financial blow. As the legal advisors mentioned in this forum, if it is not for the safety and welfare of the child, then your concerns can be somewhat selfish. I watched my husband work 60-70 hours per week and bring home only $300. This is how I look at it. We as new wives can not go back in time and changed the decisions our spouses made. When they chose to leave their child's mother, they should have known there would be one day a consequence if they did not legally establish a support agreement and comply with it. Not to say this is way for the child's mother to rebell, but the child's mother way to provide. Even though she may not be doing what you want with the money, the fact is, it is her money. If you feel he child is being abused, by all means please be the child's voice and help the child. I know how you must feel, but please consider what would be the right thing to do for the safety of the child or the mental state of the child..