Soon to be ex is trying to hold children in another state

fdave

New Member
Jurisdiction
Florida
My soon-to-be ex decided to divorce me and moved out of our Florida house into a house in Illinois with her "friend". She said she has not decided yet but that is what she is going towards. So basically we are neither divorced or separated, she will make a call.

She left our 9 year old with me and now it has been 2 months she calls me and tells me that I should send our child to her in Illinois short-term and he will return after attending a wedding of her friends.

I was willing and ready to send her but I got a bit skeptical and started asking about the wedding to which she gave me a story, upon asking further and further she keeps changing the story every time.

My child's flight is in one week, and today she accidentally sent a message which was meant for someone else. In that message she said something to the effect of bamboozling me into sending the child, and then file for divorce and start living in Illinois forever with her child and not allow me any chance to fight for custody or visitation.

After the text she scrambled to calm down the situation by calling me and letting me know that she was playing a prank and nothing like this would happen.

My question is, if I believe her and send the kid to Illinois and she keeps the kid there and divorces me. What are my options to fighting the custody battle and get the kid back in Florida?
 
I understand that I must file the divorce now. I am asking, what if I had sent her she had done something like this? Could I sue her ?
 
Filing for divorce is the equivalent of a lawsuit, it's just not called a lawsuit. If she kept the child you would file for divorce and seek custody and/or visitation.

If you file now and make a pre-emptive strike while the child is with you, you have a home court advantage.

If you wait until she has the child and she files for divorce in her state, she has all the advantage.
 
Bamboozle, huh????

The signs must ALWAYS be read.

If one doesn't read the signs, one aids and abets in his own fleecing.

Definition of bamboozle:
transitive verb

1: to deceive by underhanded methods : DUPE, HOODWINK
I got bamboozled by the salesperson to buy a more expensive model.

2: to confuse, frustrate, or throw off thoroughly or completely
Our quarterback was bamboozled by their clever defense.
 
Doesn't she have to stay in Illinois for a while to get an "established residence" or domicile before she can file a divorce in the court over there?
 
No. She can file any time. She can even get temporary relief immediately. It's the decree that requires 90 days residency.

See the comments on Illinois residency at:

https://www.illinoisdivorce.com/jurisdiction-and-residency-requirement

Understand something here. With all the equality that women have strived for and attained, there is still a double standard in this country when it comes to divorce and children. Mothers generally get physical custody and child support and fathers get visitation. Once that happens you can end up spending tens of thousands on lawyers and travel if she plays games with visitation.

If you need a reason not to send your daughter, read this:

What You Need to Know If You Fly on an Airplane During COVID-19

There is also the problem of an unaccompanied minor traveling by plane. Could be traumatic for a sensitive child or for one that hasn't flown before.

What does your daughter think about taking the trip? Any reluctance that you can use as an excuse for not sending her?
 
My child's flight is in one week, and today she accidentally sent a message which was meant for someone else. In that message she said something to the effect of bamboozling me into sending the child, and then file for divorce and start living in Illinois forever with her child and not allow me any chance to fight for custody or visitation.

After the text she scrambled to calm down the situation by calling me and letting me know that she was playing a prank and nothing like this would happen.

1) Don't send your child unless or until you have some form of court order.

2) File for divorce. Joint legal is okay, but ask for you to have primary physical custody. She is not going to like that, but she's the one that abandoned the marital home and kids.

My cousin left her husband and kids to "find herself". She was shocked that Dad got the house and full custody of the kids in the divorce.
 
1) Don't send your child unless or until you have some form of court order.

2) File for divorce. Joint legal is okay, but ask for you to have primary physical custody. She is not going to like that, but she's the one that abandoned the marital home and kids.

My cousin left her husband and kids to "find herself". She was shocked that Dad got the house and full custody of the kids in the divorce.
"Find herself" is a euphemism for "I want to forget my parental/marital responsibilities while I go off and party/sleep around".
 
Plus, If the child gets to IL it could be years to get this mess straighten out. You should filed in FL as stated and get the ball rolling.
 
So basically we are neither divorced or separated

Ummm...of course you're separated. You're no longer living together and one of you intends to file for divorce.

My child's flight is in one week

In one week - as in mid-May - before the end of the school year?

if I believe her and send the kid to Illinois and she keeps the kid there and divorces me[,] [w]hat are my options to fighting the custody battle and get the kid back in Florida?

I don't really understand the question. "Options to fighting the custody battle"?

Based on what you've written, you can probably assume that your wife will do exactly what she put in that text message. If she does, you'll have to fight the battle in another state, 700-1,400 miles away. The smart thing for you to do would be to consult with a local divorce attorney about initiating the process in your backyard ASAP.

I am asking, what if I had sent her she had done something like this? Could I sue her ?

This is a family court issue, not a civil court issue.
 
My soon-to-be ex decided to divorce me and moved out of our Florida house into a house in Illinois with her "friend". She said she has not decided yet but that is what she is going towards. So basically we are neither divorced or separated, she will make a call.

She left our 9 year old with me and now it has been 2 months she calls me and tells me that I should send our child to her in Illinois short-term and he will return after attending a wedding of her friends.

I was willing and ready to send her but I got a bit skeptical and started asking about the wedding to which she gave me a story, upon asking further and further she keeps changing the story every time.

My child's flight is in one week, and today she accidentally sent a message which was meant for someone else. In that message she said something to the effect of bamboozling me into sending the child, and then file for divorce and start living in Illinois forever with her child and not allow me any chance to fight for custody or visitation.

After the text she scrambled to calm down the situation by calling me and letting me know that she was playing a prank and nothing like this would happen.

My question is, if I believe her and send the kid to Illinois and she keeps the kid there and divorces me. What are my options to fighting the custody battle and get the kid back in Florida?

Don't send the kid. YOU file first in Florida. Then the ball is in your court. If she hasn't filed anything you need to get a lawyer now and file. Look up those in your area that do free consultations.

But my opinion don't send that kid out of state to her. Cancel the flight.
 
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