My step daughter at 17 wants to move out

JCatron

JCatron

New Member
Jurisdiction
Missouri
My step daughter will be 17 in January. My husband has full custody of her. She does she her mom once a month for weekend. My step daughter has decided she wants to move out when she turns 17 with her mom or a friend. With her dad having full custody I dont know how this works. She is not abused in any way. The only reason she wants to mive is because we just moved 1.5 hours away from her mom and friends. Is there anything we can do or need to do legally? Will we be going against the custody sgreement letting her go? Because I know at 17 we cant stoo her.
 
A poorly written law in Missouri means that if she moves out without permission, law enforcement may - I do not say will, I say may - be reluctant to move her back home. However, there is nothing in that law that prohibits your husband from dragging her little behind back where it belongs. The age of majority in Missouri is 18, not 17, which means that until she is 18 and not a minute earlier, she lives where her father says she lives. If he says she lives at home with you , then she lives at home with you. It is a myth - widely believed, but a myth nonetheless - that at 17 she can go wherever she wants.
 
JCatron said:
With her dad having full custody I dont know how this works.
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Not quite sure what you mean by this.

JCatron said:
Is there anything we can do or need to do legally? Will we be going against the custody sgreement letting her go?
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Legally, there is no "we." This is entirely your husband's call. If your husband wants to allow his daughter to move in with her mother or a friend, he is free to allow that, and it would not violate the custody order to do so." That said, if she moves in with her mother, that would be a de facto change or custody that would allow mom to seek a court ordered modification of the custody order and an order requiring your husband to pay child support.

Also, ditto what "cbg" wrote.
 
JCatron said:
My step daughter will be 17 in January. My husband has full custody of her. She does she her mom once a month for weekend. My step daughter has decided she wants to move out when she turns 17 with her mom or a friend. With her dad having full custody I dont know how this works. She is not abused in any way. The only reason she wants to mive is because we just moved 1.5 hours away from her mom and friends. Is there anything we can do or need to do legally? Will we be going against the custody sgreement letting her go? Because I know at 17 we cant stoo her.
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If her dad has sole legal and physical custody he decides where she lives. So if he says no, she can't move out. If he says yes, she can move out but at any time he can tell her to move home until she's legally an adult.

At 17 yes your husband can stop her. Until she's an adult she does what her legal guardian tells her to do.
 
At 17 she can make things difficult and complicated.
Dad just needs to make it clear to her that she does not have permission, and that she will be embarrassed by the results of her addicti if she forces him to come looking for her or to report her missing.
If dad has to drag her from friends homes she will quickly lose friends, and the parents if those friends certainly aren't going to support her anyway.
Mom will make things worse for herself if she allows this to happen in violation of the current custody order. Dad should talk with mom and both need to be unified in their message that leaving home is not an option.
 
JCatron said:
My step daughter will be 17 in January.
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Good for her, I hope she has a very happy birthday.

If she skedaddles or skitters away, stay our of it.

That is your hubby's issue.

All you should do is be supportive, don't take point.
 
army judge said:
Good for her, I hope she has a very happy birthday.

If she skedaddles or skitters away, stay our of it.

That is your hubby's issue.

All you should do is be supportive, don't take point.
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I have neen in her life since she was one. Its not just my hubbies issue. Thanks for your opinion.
 
JCatron said:
I have neen in her life since she was one. Its not just my hubbies issue. Thanks for your opinion.
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Legally? Yes, it is. Love and support her and your husband, but if push came to shove, you have no rights.
 
I do not disagree that emotionally, you are involved. Legally, you are not. If this comes to any kind of legal issue, it will only be your husband who can take action.
 
Many of the posters here have been in your shoes and have raised children who are not biologically theirs, so it is not without sympathy that we say there is no we, it is only he. You can support from the sidelines but unless you have legally adopted this girl, you can not legally act. That means if she runs off to mom and someone needs to go drag her tush home, it has to be dad. Police are reluctant to get involved in custody matters in every state (and in most cases downright refuse) unless the child is in active danger (that is what courts are for-not officers). In yours, there is an extra level of reluctance.
 
JCatron said:
I have neen in her life since she was one. Its not just my hubbies issue. Thanks for your opinion.
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Legally it is just your husband's issue. Legally you are a stranger. You have to just support your husband otherwise you may make things worse.

I was a stepmother. I had to realize there were a lot of things I couldn't do and that legally I had no say. When my ex husband's oldest son was taken out of his mom and stepdad's home, I told my ex I would pay for a lawyer to get him custody of him. THe kid had been abused by his stepdad. But he didn't take me up on it - legally I couldn't do anything. I couldn't get custody. I wish I would have been able to because the kid is now almost 16 and worse than both his parents and somehow his grandma got temporary custody and that woman is the last person who should have a kid in her home after she screwed up my ex and his siblings.

You were told what the law is and what your husband can do - and only your husband.
 

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