Interpreting Court Order?

CO says: Mother shall be entitled to evening placement with DD13 from after school until 8pm two days per month. Said two days per month shall coincide with attendance at DD's extra curricular activities or other events whenever possible. Mother shall be entitled to placement with DD following said extra curricular activity or other event and continuing thereafter until 8pm that same evening or until after the activity is completed. Mother shall provide all transportation for these visits.
Both parents are responsible for guaranteeing that she attends all of her regularly scheduled, routine, school sponsored, extracurricular activities and events when she is in their placement

1. I gave notice Saturday of evening placement dates on Nov 17, Dec 1, & Dec 6 (I wasn't able to fit 2 evenings into my schedule for this month). In Sept & Oct I gave the same notice over the weekend for the next week. I told DD Sunday I'd be picking her up at school for the evening on Thursday. Sunday night after she returned to Ex-H, he emails that he has "family plans" Thursday so that won't work. Monday evening, DD sends me a text asking me to bring some school work she forgot over the weekend when I see her Thursday (DD13 did not have any knowledge of the supposed "family plans"). Ex-H is refusing to let me have my evening placement with DD. Is this contempt/refusal of my placement time?

2. After I sent my notice of my dates, Ex-H informs me DD now has piano lessons on Tuesdays so that won't work unless I pick her up at 5:30. These are private lessons with a private individual at his house at 4pm. The Tuesday in question on Dec 6, DD gets out of school at 1:30 that day. I interpret the order as her piano lessons are not a regularly scheduled, routine, school sponsored, extracurricular activity because this is not school sponsored. I also know these lessons are very easily rescheduled and Ex-H has plenty of notice to do so, which I told him. He is still saying I not only have to guarantee her attendance, but because it says my evenings should be coordinated with attendance at her events that if I don't want to change that day I can't pick her up until the lesson is over at 5:30 and I don't get her after school at 1:30. He seems to have missed that it says AT her events, and DD informed me I can't attend her lesson because "you are not allowed in the house." How would you interpret this visit and what should I do? If ex tells her that my visit doesn't start until 5:30 she will refuse to go with me when I show up at school at 1:30, she won't even get in the car until 4pm on my weekend because "the court order says 4."

This is a new order after a modification of custody (I'm appealing). Since the change he has listed his new wife as DD's female parent/guardian on the school form and gave none of my contact information to the school, refused to give me the information for the 2 medical providers he took her to so I can access her medical records (I asked 3 times for this), doesn't have her call when I ask him to because I can't get ahold of her for days, and now this. Is there anything I can do?

Thank you, Heidi

What does your order say - word for word - about notifying the other parent regarding your visitation?

Why is your visitation so limited?

And - I'm honestly not trying to be mean here - why on earth is your daughter caught up in the middle of this?

Madam, I suggest you ask a friend and a dear relative to read what you've posted.
Then, ask them for an assessment.
After you've done that, hopefully you'll see another perspective here.

I don't want you to think that some nutball stranger is judging you.
So, for that reason, I'm not going to comment on your post.

I ask you to consider the first 50-60 words of your commentary after your item one above.
Please read it and think about it.

Finally, I'll admonish you to be patient.
Use this time away from your daughter to become a better person and mother.
Then consult with your lawyer regarding your appeal.
Don't work against your own best interests by gathering too many opinions.

This must be a very difficult time for you.
So, use it to your advantage.
You can write letters to your daughter, keep a journal, or a video diary.
Those may not be the best solutions, but one day your daughter will cherish your letters, notes, and videos.
I wsh you well, madam.

Proserpina said:

What does your order say - word for word - about notifying the other parent regarding your visitation?

Why is your visitation so limited?

And - I'm honestly not trying to be mean here - why on earth is your daughter caught up in the middle of this?

Click to expand...

This is the order word for word, there is nothing about notifying the other parent. The rest of the visitation is a standard EOW and alternating holidays, 2/3 of summer.
My daughter is caught in the middle of this because first thing Ex-H did after the change was show her the court order to convince her she didn't want to spend ROFR time with me when he was out of state for 4 days, and telling her that since it says her wishes will be considered it's her choice. Then proceeds to show her other things in it, like the 4pm pick up time on weekends, to make sure I don't get one extra minute, among other things... Obviously he is alienating her against me, which started at the beginning of his custody suit when he convinced her she'd rather live with him in his "normal" home with a mom and a dad (when he remarried). A bad GAL who was biased and blind and a bad judge....and here we are. His efforts to cut me out of her life continue.