What to reasonably expect

[cubs0126]

My girlfriend and I have a two year old son together. We are breaking up due to irreconcilable differences. She has lived in my home with me since the child was born. When we attempt to sort out the child custody/support situation, what can I reasonably expect? I have a good job with insurance and have always been a loving and supportive father. I would like to get as much custody as possible, without making things ugly. I, obviously, will file the child support papers and a pay faithfully. I just want to move on in a new direction, without leaving my son behind. So, what can I expect?

 

[Duranie]

You can certainly ask for joint custody and to get a set visitation schedule. You really should see an attorney.

 

[cubs0126]

Exactly what is joint custody? I don't really know much about this matter. And, to take this one step further, is it totally out of the realm of possibility to be awarded primary custody of my son? If so, why? Why do the courts lean so favorably toward the mother?

 

[Duranie]

Who has been the primary caregiver until now? Why do you think you should have custody? Obviously both parents want it but that is impossible. Most of the time it is the mother that is the primary caregiver.

Joint legal custody gives you some power in making decisions for the child. Joint parenting time 50/50 is not awarded much. in most families the mother spends the most time with the child but if you have been a stay at home dad and have done most of the nurturing then you can file for custody. I suggest you 2 try to work something out.

 

[ohiogranny]

Mom has the upper hand custody-wise because you are not married. She has custody. You need to file for paternity/support/parenting time. Then you will have equal rights, but until then she is the custodial parent and court will not disrupt the status quo unless there are serious issues with mom's caretaking and is abusive/neglegent to the child.