What do I do now?

[Angelique2086]

Jurisdiction

Pennsylvania

My daughter's father lives in Las Vegas but she lives with me in Pa, I have primary physical custody. She was recently visiting him and he has since told me shes afraid to live with me. My daughter is 7 and she denies all of that. I have no money for a lawyer but he has plenty and a very very good lawyer. What can I do?

 

[army judge]

My daughter's father lives in Las Vegas but she lives with me in Pa, I have primary physical custody. She was recently visiting him and he has since told me shes afraid to live with me. My daughter is 7 and she denies all of that. I have no money for a lawyer but he has plenty and a very very good lawyer. What can I do?

As long as you have physical custody in the form of a court order, and you're doing a good job as a parent, all he can do is file for a change of custody in PA, not NV.

You don't need a lawyer, if he does file, yous imply appear and tell your side of the story: you're good mom, you take care of your child, she's going to school, she's loved, and given proper health care.

You bring three or four witnesses (friends, family, etc) who know what a great mo you are to testify on your behalf.

You don't seem to have anything to worry over, because many people just talk, but if this guy's going to act he'll eventually lose.

 

[Angelique2086]

Thank you for that. I have another question... she recently visited him in vegas and when returned home, she said he was constantly questioning her about everything that happens here with me. He then has called me to tell me she doesn't feel safe with me. He has already had children and youth here, which has gotten him no where bc the case has been closed. Now, he is threatening me again with doing what needs to be done to keep his daughter safe. My daughter has denied saying that, like I said shes 7. I don't know what to do when he throws his next thing at me.... he is very good at making things up and twisting people's words.

As long as you have physical custody in the form of a court order, and you're doing a good job as a parent, all he can do is file for a change of custody in PA, not NV.

You don't need a lawyer, if he does file, yous imply appear and tell your side of the story: you're good mom, you take care of your child, she's going to school, she's loved, and given proper health care.

You bring three or four witnesses (friends, family, etc) who know what a great mo you are to testify on your behalf.

You don't seem to have anything to worry over, because many people just talk, but if this guy's going to act he'll eventually lose.

 

[army judge]

Thank you for that. I have another question... she recently visited him in vegas and when returned home, she said he was constantly questioning her about everything that happens here with me. He then has called me to tell me she doesn't feel safe with me. He has already had children and youth here, which has gotten him no where bc the case has been closed. Now, he is threatening me again with doing what needs to be done to keep his daughter safe. My daughter has denied saying that, like I said shes 7. I don't know what to do when he throws his next thing at me.... he is very good at making things up and twisting people's words.

I suggest you stop communicating with him about anything and everything if it doesn't involve your daughter's school or health. If he starts to discuss anything but your child, advise him that you are hanging up, then proceed to do so.

Read your existing child custody orders and make sure you do everything the order requires, but nothing more.

I wouldn't stress your child and tell her to not discuss you, that's just a frustrating chore. Just live your life, be a great mom and good person. Then the child will say only good things, which is what she's probably doing anyway. He's probably fishing, trying ot scare you, just don't allow him to make you play his game.

Bottom line, its all about making your daughter's life better. There's nothing you wouldn't do to help your daughter, just keep doing it, and you won't have to say it. Live your life for the next decade or so to make your daughter's life better than yours. Then keep doing it for your grand kids.

 

[Angelique2086]

So even though now he is getting his lawyer involved, I still should be fine? I am terrified he'll make up some twisted crazy things to get her away from me.

 

[shrinkmaster]

You have no obligation to discuss his claims. Your conversation should be about co parenting your child nothing else.

 

[Betty3]

You need to stop communicating with him (except for the co-parenting of the child) - don't get involved in the "games" he is playing. Just be the good Mom you seem to be.

 

[mook32]

If anything gets filed, contact an attorney and they can request interim attorney fees that your ex will pay. A local attorney could discuss the likelihood of a judge granting that. Otherwise home state is PA and they have continuing, exclusive jurisdiction over the matter.

 

[ElleMD]

If he files to alter custody/visitation, then you contact an attorney. Until, there is nothing to worry about. Wasting time agonizing over what lies he might possibly tell and who might possibly believe him is beyond pointless. It is also extremely unlikely.