Teen Mom Seeks Custody

[snicole93]

I am currently 4 months pregnant and have been struggling with finding out what is going to happen after I have the baby. I will be 18 years and 5 months old, so I will be a "legal adult". The father will be 21 at that point. We live in different states, I, Virginia, and him in Pennsylvania.

I think it would be best to get sole custody, I dont think it would be beneficial to be taking a newborn/baby or even a child back and forth between the states. He is also in college at Penn State, he has another year. Along with classes, he drinks and smokes weed and has a pop-punk band. He begged me to get an abortion, but I dont believe in that, and now he wants to try and talk like he actually cares about being a father. I have a house and ways to financially support this baby, which he doesnt even have a job or any source of income.

I dont know how to proceed in getting this sole custody, and with child support he would get visitations. I just want the best for this baby, and I dont feel safe wiith him having that right while he lives such an irresponsible life and wanted the baby dead in the first place.

Any help would be great,
Shelby.

 

[irish223]

I am currently 4 months pregnant and have been struggling with finding out what is going to happen after I have the baby. I will be 18 years and 5 months old, so I will be a "legal adult". The father will be 21 at that point. We live in different states, I, Virginia, and him in Pennsylvania.

I think it would be best to get sole custody, I dont think it would be beneficial to be taking a newborn/baby or even a child back and forth between the states. He is also in college at Penn State, he has another year. Along with classes, he drinks and smokes weed and has a pop-punk band. He begged me to get an abortion, but I dont believe in that, and now he wants to try and talk like he actually cares about being a father. I have a house and ways to financially support this baby, which he doesnt even have a job or any source of income.

I dont know how to proceed in getting this sole custody, and with child support he would get visitations. I just want the best for this baby, and I dont feel safe wiith him having that right while he lives such an irresponsible life and wanted the baby dead in the first place.

Any help would be great,
Shelby.

Until paternity is established, you will have sole custody. If you file for child support, then the father will have the right to request joint legal custody and visitation, and he will probably get it. Or, if you don't file for support, he can still file to establish paternity and custody/visitation. Nothing you've posted would prevent him from securing those rights as the father of the child.

 

[Proserpina]

OP, please understand that he'll get visitation even if he's not paying child support.

The latter is not an admission fee to the former.

So you may as well file for child support anyway.

 

[THEJKH1999]

if you dont want to worry about it and he doesnt want the baby anyway then discuss with him about leaving him off the Birth certificate, maybe even draw up a contract that says you agree not to go for child support if he doesnt go after parental rights?
i dont even know if it is binding but it might help?

If he wants to be a part of his childs life you cant stop him, he has as much chance in court as you do, there is no special court just for mothers to exclude fathers rights, atleast not yet!

 

[Proserpina]

if you dont want to worry about it and he doesnt want the baby anyway then discuss with him about leaving him off the Birth certificate, maybe even draw up a contract that says you agree not to go for child support if he doesnt go after parental rights?
i dont even know if it is binding but it might help?

If he wants to be a part of his childs life you cant stop him, he has as much chance in court as you do, there is no special court just for mothers to exclude fathers rights, atleast not yet!

Such a thing is not binding. It would basically be a waste of time and paper.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Unfortunately, you choose to has sex with an unemployed, booze drinking, weed smoking, punk band playing college student. If he chooses to have paternity established and wishes joint custody and visitation the court is very likely to grant him this.

In such situations the assumption is that the child benefits from the attention of both parents.

Gail

 

[bluemann33]

I am currently 4 months pregnant and have been struggling with finding out what is going to happen after I have the baby. I will be 18 years and 5 months old, so I will be a "legal adult". The father will be 21 at that point. We live in different states, I, Virginia, and him in Pennsylvania.

I think it would be best to get sole custody, I dont think it would be beneficial to be taking a newborn/baby or even a child back and forth between the states. He is also in college at Penn State, he has another year. Along with classes, he drinks and smokes weed and has a pop-punk band. He begged me to get an abortion, but I dont believe in that, and now he wants to try and talk like he actually cares about being a father. I have a house and ways to financially support this baby, which he doesnt even have a job or any source of income.

I dont know how to proceed in getting this sole custody, and with child support he would get visitations. I just want the best for this baby, and I dont feel safe wiith him having that right while he lives such an irresponsible life and wanted the baby dead in the first place.

Any help would be great,
Shelby.

As the others have said he will get some sort of visitaions if he chooses. Remember, he hopefully will grow up with what seems a college education. The child may benefit with him as a dad if not now then in a few years. Hopefully the child will amke him speed that process up. Good luck.