Restricting freedoms/Mental Illness

[danlandolfe]

My girlfriend and I suffer from mental illness and I feel our rights are being infringed upon by family members from both sides of our relationship. My parents have a habit of forcing me to do things that I don't want to do, like throw out personal things, avoid people they think are causing me to be ill, ect., all aimed at helping me be healthy, but misguided and harmful to me. My father has religious reasons, my mother just hopes that I'll be forced to get better.

My girlfriend has the same problems with her family, but her family is actively taking away her ability to use the phone, go places(like to the store a mile away), and if she does anything that doesn't match what they think is good for her they tell her that her life will be ruined and they will take away things they promise they will give her(like a house). Her mother likes me but thinks her daughter and I enable each other not to get better(a concept which I feel is unfounded). Her mother's boyfriend does not like me for personal reasons(he verbally assulted me against a wall and harassed me repeatedly after words and I yelled at him to get him to stop). She maintains that since when we were together before her daughter was suffering from delusions that when we get back together the same will happen. She wants her to live under her roof and go to college, something that her daughter also wants to do, but I know her daughter can do with me now that I have recovered enough to do so and know that I can be just as effective as she can.
She would give me permission to speak with her daughter and speak my piece with her as well but fears angering her boyfriend and losing his help fixing their house(he does house maintinence and repairs). As far as my GF calling, and me calling her, her mother's BF threatens to take his future gifts away from her if she talks to me and since he doesn't want me to call I don't.

My questions are;

1. Is it legal for parents(or their significant others) to restrict personal freedoms for adults that don't have a condition that makes them incapable of taking care of themselves?

2. If not, what are their laws I can cite when they do this to prove they don't have the legal right to infringe on our personal decisions and freedoms?

3. What is the proper way to approach someone who uses the rule:
"a person who is a danger to them self loses their rights" as a springboard to take over a person's personal life when they are not a danger to them self to protect them from harm in the future.(the fact is she was hospitalized last for
for 8 months for public nudity and has never attempted suicide).

4. Failing this what legal action can be taken in the form of protection from this occurance, not in the form of a lawsuit or charges.

5. Do I have the right to call a household in which she lives if her parent doesn't mind and her BF does?

6. Do I have the right to stop by to talk to her?

7. Does she have the right to leave for as long as she wants?

8. What action can(should) be taken to prevent him from being verbally abusive to her or coercing her mother(she is disabled-from brain cancer).

I feel that if I am equipped with the proper legal knowledge and advice I can empower myself to deal effectively with situations in which our rights are being compromised so help is very much appreciated.

 

[calalily]

Does her mother have some type of conservatorship or court order where the mother is responsible for making decisions for the daughter? If not, what you are facing is what many young adults face when they still live at home, the "As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules" law. If she wants her mother's financial support she'll have to abide by what her mother wants. The live-in boyfriend has no right to abuse any one but unless the mother kicks him to the curb, there is nothing you can do. He lives there, the mother lets him rule the house, so unless your girlfriend can move out on her own and be financially responsible there is nothing you can do. If they don't want you to call or come by then you can't because they (the mother who is abiding by the BF wishes) own the house and pay the phone bills, not your girlfriend. Do either of you get state assistance for your disabilities such as services through MHMR, Social Security, disability or anything. They can help with affordable housing and maybe school; check into their services. My son too suffers from mental illness and is not yet cabable of living on his own. He gets services from MHMR and if he gets disability they may help him get housing and help him live independently. Hang in there, check on services, and good luck. Also, there are some websites for peopel with specific disabilities, with forums and chatrooms, that may be able to help. I hope you know that parents really do try to do what is best for their children but when those children are disabled adults with adult needs and wants it 's soooo very difficult to create a balance in the home and to do what is right. Good luck and take care.

 

[buckminster]

You should contact your local MH patient advocate office. They may not be much help directly but they will help you understamd what your rights are in this situation. For instance my bipolar GF was not receiving the appropriate care and was being abused at a county MHS facility. I had to get my attorney involved in order to resolve the issues.