Relinquishing all parental rights to father

[Jenna]

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible...
Married young to much older man and had child. Divorced when child was age 1. Father got everything, I was young and niave, did not know what was legally mine. Father got custody of child. Father left state with child when he was 3 years old. I was told nothing. To my surprise one weekend they were both gone. For a few years there was no clue to whereabouts or contact.

I remarried and started family. X came back to town. Wanted new husband and I to take child. We happily agreed took my child in and changed custody papers. Long story short, X too involved in marriage and confused more, an already confused child. Child went back to father.

Although attempts were made on my part, never heard from child or father. No address or phone #. Child now in six grade contacts us. Wants to live with us. We welcome child in home with us and other children. Child obviously raised in wrong manner had issues and daily trouble with family, school, rules, and respect of any authority. Husband and I worked hard to help child for over 1 year. Child rebelled about everything constantly. Husband feared welfare of our children and family life, so the child went back to father and way of life that he knew.

Did not hear from child or father until the age of 13. Father had told child if I don't take him he will go to foster care. We took him in happily with great hopes and promises. For 18 months daily problems existed with child on everything. Keep long story short, last straw was when 14 son got physical with me. He recently moved out and home with father again. Husband and I have concern for our three young children and my own safety around troubled teen. Problems have only worsen and now he is back with father and wrong child rearing enviroment.

What can I do to protect my children and self from disturbed teen. I don't us to be an option he can be juggled back to. Father also demanding child support money for past years of child's life. What can I do? What options do I have?

Please help

 

[Duranie]

You desperately need to see an attorney.

you likely cannot terminate parental rights unless there is a stepmother willing to adopt. You cannot terminate rights just because this boy is a problem.

Looks like neither of you sought any good legal advcie which is why the boy has been juggled back and forth betwen homes and now has problems. Is it any surprise?

Father does have a right to seek support from you if the child is with him.

 

[Jenna]

I'm not trying to get out of paying CS, please know up front. When he first took the child and vanished for a few years without any notification to me (Parental Kidnapping I recently became aware of) I have to still pay for that?!

Once x returned to state of Texas with child, he signed over custody to ME. Since child's age of 5-14 years, papers filed haven't changed. Does this matter at all? Is a parent only liable to pay CS for the years child resides with other parent?

If I am a homemaker, haven't worked (for paycheck) in over 10 years how do determine monthly CS due? Will my husband's (step father to child) income be taken into consideration?

Just wanting an idea of what to expect and how much $ I might possibly be looking at.

Oh yeah, is it too late to charge him with kidnapping?! Just kidding, seems like it doesn't pay to be nice these days. The nice have to keep paying.

 

[carney]

Were you ever ordered to pay child support when the divorce went through? If you weren't ordered then, I don't think he can go back now and say he wants child support.

It sounds like this child needs a lot of counseling. He may have a mental illness or may have been abused or neglected by his father and that may be why he acts the way he does. I would take him to a child phsyciatrist and see if there is anything that can be done to help him. I know it's hard when there are other children involved and you have to think about their safety as well, but this child needs help and needs to know he has a family that cares about him. My son is autistic and ADHD and is very violent and I have a 2 year old that I have to watch around him constantly so he doesn't hurt her, so I know what you're going through. But this poor boy shouldn't be passed around like, "I don't want him, you take him. No, I don't want him, you take him back." It's obvious that the father doesn't care or he wouldn't have said "if you don't take him he's going to foster care." There's got to be something a doctor can do to help him. You didn't mention if you tried help of that kind.

 

[Jenna]

I am in the process of obtaining a copy of divorce papers. Quite certain cs in any amount was not mentioned. There was never any discovery of any sort. My x had A LOT to loose if I was told all I could easily be entitled to. Years after divorce would have been soooo different for me and definately the child. I was 18 years old and x was 41 when we met. There's a long story.... what's the saying, If I could go back in time and do it all again..oh yeah would I do it differently.

As far as the teen is concerned, husband and I tried anything and everything to help him. Teen reacted with total defiance & resistance to cooperate every time and everyone. I am very fearful for his future and what he may become. I have felt genuine fear from looking into his eyes many of times. The total disregard and lack of respect for himself and other people worries me. I could have called police and made reports on certain instances, have him put in juvenile detention, and so on..how could I do that to my own son though?! Especially when I am trying so hard to build a relationship with him. Then again, he made need a shot in the arm of reality of consequences to the choices he's making for himeself. It is a difficult place to be in when you want to help all your children and have them all under the same roof, only to find you can't without jeapordizing one's safety.

 

[Duranie]

Back to the CS issue, if you are ordered to pay here on out, they will imput an income for you, probably minimum wage. I am not sure if what he did was considered kidnapping since it is unclear who officially had custody and if it was not disputed within the courts, he got away with it.

If he has custody of the boy and he files for CS, you or your husband will have to pay it to keep you out of arrears.

 

[Jenna]

Custody of teen has been in my name since he was 5 years old.
It was joint at divorce and when he took him out of state without my knowledge.
He was with dad on weekend. When I went to pick up child and after no repsonse, I looked in window... Everything was gone! For years I had now clue to their whereabouts.

Do I still pay Cs if records say I have had custody all this time?

 

[Duranie]

He is not going to be able to go back and sue you for back support. Because you officially had custody on paper and if there was not a CS order, no CS is owed.

He can seek it from here on out though.

 

[carney]

Wouldn't the father have to get legal custody back first before he could get a child support order? If the mother still has custody, can't she fight for child support or does not any of that matter if he is living right now with the father?

 

[Duranie]

The father needs to file for custody first. If he gets it then he can file for at least a temp. order of CS.