on going problem with ex

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cherokeechoctaw

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I am married with one child at home. I have had custody of my two kids (from previous marriage) since 1998 and my ex paid CS. She married a man who was wealthy and was threatening to take me to court for my youngest because the youngest wanted to live with my ex because of all the gifts she was bieng bought on her visitation weekends. She was 14 and moved in may 2007. I couldn't afford a lawyer to fight her high dollar lawyer so I reluctantly agreed since daughter was old enough to say where she wanted to live. Court papers were drawn up no CS was to be paid either way with the youngest moving. Ex wife owed back CS. Oldest child sees youngest getting lots of gifts and now she moves out there. she is 16 and she moved dec 2007 with no court papers involved. So both kids chose to move there. Now ex is getting divorce from her cash cow and now wants me to pay CS through the TXAG. Braces and car has been bought for oldest 1 month after her moving there and youngest has braces also. I wasn't notified on any of the major purchases. both have cell phones internet service laptop computers etc... Question is.. Do I have to pay CS since both kids elected to move and if so why should I have to pay for their bad decisions and exes divorce. Her money is gone now and I'm supposed to fill in the blanks? Its not my fault.
 
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Bottom line is they are YOUR kids. You have to pay CS regardless. Her newest husbands money does not matter, you're still responsible for your own children. If the guideline says you have to pay CS based on your percentage of custody and income, you have to pay it. I'm not too clear on whether or not there is an actual amount set by the court for CS on your case? If your judgement states that you are responsible for 50% of medical/dental bills then you have to pay your contributory share of the braces (why would you not want to pay for your child's braces anyway?).
 
No the bottom line is my kids abandoned me after me dedicating half my life to them when their own mother coulndnt careless until she married money and had the financial means to slam me in court with her high dollar lawyer. She had her own CS lowered twice after claiming "i just had surgery" even though it was elective dental surgery in mexico. She pulled the sympathy card and everyone bought it. My kids haven't called me and the last thing my oldest told me was "I freaking hate you" and my youngest has plastered "I hate my father" on her website. They abandoned me for her money and all the stuff she could buy them. I really expect to be put on the chopping block by the TXAG. Even when they should have been on my side when I had my kids they were always on her side. You know, they have that "The woman is the victim" mentallity. They claim the system is equal but I know better. I guess as I can always say that the money I will pay for CS will be a sanity fee. I pay my money never deal with them people again and I keep my sanity. Sorry for all that but I am fed up with her, and the whole lopsided system. Equal rights? For whom? Certianly not the male.

And by the way in my original divorce decree she was supposed to have medical insurance. Did she NO. She was too busy buying boats and furniture for her drug dealing boyfriend. Who by the way, she met while she was a prison guard and he was an inmate. All the while, still married to me. So don't get righteoous with me. You don't know the half of it.
 
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See! Now I have a better idea of the REAL situation. I wasn't getting righteous with you, I was merely stating how things work. Let me tell you, I understand both sides of things.

My ex is a deadbeat who hasn't seen our 4yo son in over a year (his choice), never pays CS or his contribution towards tuition or childcare that he has been ordered to pay. He's in the military and doesn't provide medical for our son either. I provide all medical insurance. My fiancee and I provide everything for my son. I've filed cases with Dept. of Child Support services and they send me $16.00 checks. He's ordered to pay over $300 + the childcare (but DCSS It's more of an insult to injury. I'd rather get nothing. So, on my end I feel helpless. All of the collection tactics I've tried don't help and the court doesn't do much.

On the other hand...my fiancee is an amazing Father, very involved, provides a great home, necessities, etc. A lot like you were with your children and they did almost the same thing to him. In our County in California whenever a parent files for a modification of custody or support it is mandatory that they go to mediation. She's filed twice in the past year (just FYI, I don't think this is a coincidence, I've been around 2 years, they've been divorced for 5 and she hasn't filed and had no problems before I came. Maybe because I don't stand for letting him have her push him around). Either way, the first time they went to mediation they suggested a new 50/50 schedule that is just not working for anyone. He asked to go back to the week on, week off schedule, she went ballistic and filed again, this time for 100% custody. They go to mediation and the report basically trashes me, my son and my fiancee. I don't find it to be a coincidence that this M.F.T. that did the mediation also happens to practice in the same city as the new Mother In Law to his ex who is ALSO an M.F.T. She suggested an 80/20 custody schedule after its been 50/50 for 5 years. Is that justice? No! The kids are not abused, neglected or molested. They threw us under the bus for their own selfish reasons. Kids are a**holes. The problem is we provide for them on more of a practical level and she benefits because she doesn't have to buy clothes, pay for sports, braces, etc. Instead she buys iPods, XBox 360's, weekend getaways. Thankfully, she showed up late to court and the mediators suggestion was not able to be enforced because the Judge threw it off the docket.

If I can give you any advice...do your homework. Read up on how the system works in your state/county. Child Support Services will help you. If she owes back support to you, that can be used as a credit towards support owed to her (that's how it is here, not sure where you are). If she didn't provide medical and there are medical expenses unpaid file a contempt of court order, writ of execution, whatever you can do (again, not sure about the laws in your state, I'm assuming you're not in CA). There are Family Law Facilitators that can help. If you have to, just to know where you stand, get a free consultation from a Family Law Attorney (I'm not one to advocate wasting an attorney's time, but sometimes if you're at a total loss that's all you can do. Some are even willing to work out payment plans). I used to want to do Family Law but the system drives me crazy so that's why I do personal injury...lol.
 
Well we are basically on the same page. So you also know how it is to be in my shoes. I apologize for my bieng quick to judge but I have seen many lawyers and been screwed by most so I'm not a real fan of the profession. But if you can defend your client from your heart and not just for the money you can't lose. I was looking for possibilities. And the real irony to the whole situation is that she still claims to be the victim. Even when she lived across the street from me and my daughters and not even a phone call on kids birthdays no visitation for half a year. Nothing ever was started by her until the borrowed money started flowing. The only thing I can think of at this moment is that I only have a little over three years to deal with her and her BS. I'm pretty sure that she will get a phone call on graduation night in 3 years. lol I'm in TX by the way where the TXAG cares nothing but bankrupting families. To show you how messed up the system is here, my wife is owed over 12000 now (the TXAG has that case also) and nothing has been done in over a year. Thank you PILAWGIRL and once again, apology.
 
No problem, most attorney's and people in the legal profession are judged quickly. Being able to redeem your reputation with tact is the real challenge :) Hope everything works out for you.

If it makes you feel any better, there WILL come a day when your girls will see who REALLY took care of them and who bought their love for personal and financial gain. It may not be next year, three years from now, it may not happen until one of them is 30 years old but it will be realized one day. I speak this from experience, I was one of those kids growing up. The truth will always come out.
 
AMEN! PILawGirl! "Know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free!"

Cherokee...I feel your pain man! I've ridden the "Woman's Court" system for almost 13 years now, and you're right. We men get no respect.

In the words of my Ex, "It don't matter what the judge says, I can do what I want". YES, I'd say your Ex willl get a court order that you must pay child support.

However, IF you got the BALLS, you really dont HAVE to pay it. Not that I'm condoning that sort of thing, but in the end it's TRUE. The only thing to my knowledge that they can do is put you in jail, garnish your wages, and withold your tax refund. If you can live with those things, and want some sort of revenge, then there ya go!

My Ex has been found in contempt for not paying her child support 3 times. All I can do is take her back to court AGAIN. Funny thing is, I never took her to court in the first place. She has taken me to court trying to get custody back, and when the judge finds out she's behind, he throws out her motion, and finds her in contempt of the initial order. Her arrears are now approaching the $10,000 mark, and I'm thinking that would be a good milestone to take her back into court myself.

Wish you all the best !!
 
PlLawGirl Have you tried calling the branch of service he is in and let them know that he is not paying and providing medical for his son. My daughter's dad is in the military and they don't pay when it comes to a man not supporting his child.
 
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