Need Help

[heatherA]

I have a 2 & 3 year old by my ex who I was with for five years. He was very domestically abusive to me pretty much the entire time. For instance, he has 5 assault charges on his record. He was also working a 2nd shift job nearly the full five years and was into drugs and never saw me or the children ( we all lived together). About a month ago he got very physical with our daughter which scared the crap out of me. It was a wake up call and I realized I had to get all three of us out of the situation before something terrible happened. The only family I have that could help me was my mother who lives in Flordia. I grabbed a little bit of cloths that I could and my children and I came to Flordia to stay with my mother for a bit ( we lived in Iowa before). I just talked to my ex for the first time today and he is threating to come find us and do something terrible if we don't come back. My question is regarding custody, child support and signing over parental rights.

His name is on the birth certificate for both of our children. When I lived in Iowa and seperated from him for 3 months, I filed for assistance and they said they would start the child support process. Nothing has ever been done and that was almost a year ago. He acknowledges the kids when we are all together but he would never want them to live with him. Besides where he is living and with the drugs it would be an awfully unsafe environment for my children. I am going broke being a single mother and can't afford an attorney. Is their a way to get papers to have him sign over his rights?

Thanks!

 

[Duranie]

You cannot get him to sign over rights. You chose him to father your kids, like it or not he does have rights. The courts are not going to allow a termination of rights unless you are remarried and the stepfather is willing to adopt.

You might have a case for supervised visitation at best, but you have to prove he is a danger to the kids.

You are going to have to see an attorney, or call legal aid to see if you qualify.

Since you moved out of state you must meet the jurisdiction and residency requirements for Florida, which is at least 6 months, so if you have lived there for at least that long, then you should be able to file for child support.

 

[carney]

Yes, that is true. I live in Florida and you have to wait 6 months before you can do anything. I couldn't tell from your post if you are married to him or not. If you are, then you have to wait six months to file for a legal separation. I don't know how long Floridas separation has to be but you do have to file it through the court to count. If you are not married then you just have to wait the 6 months to become a resident of the state to file for assistance. Florida is very strict on having the children have a relationship with the father. You will have no chance of getting his rights taken away unless he has no contact with them for a year and you don't know where he is. The courts here don't really care about the drug problems or the danger it puts kids in. I went through the same with my ex. It doesn't hurt to ask for supervised visitation because you may get it but understand that you may not. His assalt charges may help.

Go to your local child support office and ask them if they can get child support for you even though you haven't lived here 6 months. They may be able to help you on that.

Believe me you will be in a worse situation if you go back to him. Just ignore what he says and don't let him know where you are. The only way he can find you is if you give him your address. There is a new law in a lot of states that says if one parent abuses a child and the other parent doesn't report it or get the child out of harms way then the non-abusing parent can be charged with abuse as well because they didn't do anything about it. Women can now be charged because they stay with an abusive man and their children can be taken away. That almost happened to a friend of mine and so she pressed charges against her husband even though she was afraid of him.

 

[carney]

Oh, also if he continues to threaten you, call your local abuse shelter(you can get the number from the police office) and talk to them about what is going on. They may be able to help you get a restraining order or may have some advice on what you can do to protect yourself and your children.