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Brokenmomof3

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Jurisdiction
Iowa
My ex boyfriend and I had broken up. He trucks for a living so i drove our little girl to see him for the weekend and when we left he said he was keeping her. Anyway we are in the middle of working our custody and visitation. He has her and only alowes me every other weekend. I have now had our son he is 3 months old and he has nothing to do with him. I asked for DNA test he said no just say he isn't mine then it was u only want my money. Now it is I'll give up my rites to him. I can't afford a lawyer because I was a stay at home mom till he threw me out. I just don't know what to do or if he can even give up one kid when we have 2

Can my ex give up rite to one of our kids and keep the other. He doesn't want our son but wants our little girl. (This last paragraph was first thread OP started - now combined Betty3)
 
You would have to agree & there would have to be a step parent adoption of your son.
 
I just read your other post/thread - seems you are not talking about ex husband but ex boyfriend whose paternity of your son hasn't even been established yet. He currently has no rights to give up. He would need to go to court to get paternity established by DNA.
 
If paternity hasn't been established by DNA & he is not on birth certs. on either child, he cannot legally claim being the Father.
 
So does this mean I can take for lack of a better word our little girl back as well. Because he refused to let me have her back after I let him see her for the weekend. And now only let's me see her every other weekend but we haven't need to court he has a lawyer and asked for temporary custody. But that's it I have not signed any paperwork
 
He is going to have to go to court to establish paternity by DNA & then request visitation/any type of custody. If he establishes paternity, you can request child support.
 
If you were never married and there's never been a DNA test done to establish that he is in fact your daughter's father, then it seems to me that he doesn't have any right to keep her from you.
 
Your ex-boyfriend can't just force you to agree on custody and support. If he is the father of your child then he has a legal obligation to support the child. So who is the father listed on the birth certificate? Considering that it seems you already have one child together, one has to wonder whether your ex-boyfriend is trying to intimidate you based upon your financial issues. And if your ex is making claims about whether some or none of the children are his, you may be able to keep custody of your children and require him to take a paternity test if he wishes to assert his legal rights as the father.

This seems to be a good summary of the law and procedure regarding child support and paternity testing in Iowa: Paternity and Iowa Law - and this is a Guide to Iowa Courts Determining Child Support. Best of luck with your situation and your children.
 
Agree - unless he goes to court & gets a DNA to establish paternity, you can go & get her. He can't keep you, the Mother, from her.
 
OP also started another thread regarding this. (had less details to start with)
 
YOU always have full rights to the children. Legally, they are your children and right now, only your children. You can take your daughter at any time.

In order to establish paternity, you must file in court to do so. The court can order him to have a DNA test. Child support, visitation, and custody are decided after he has proven to be the legal father. A parent who works on the road is very unlikely to get full physical custody.

You *could* just not ever establish paternity and he would have zero rights to these children but there are a couple of downsides. 1. He might initiate the paternity case. 2. If you apply for or need any sort of government benefits for the kids, and if you aren't working I am guessing that will be the case, the state will insist upon naming the father. In other words, if there is another parent out there who could be supporting the kids, the government will not. 3. You would not be entitled to any sort of support from him to care for the children without establishing paternity. He created these kids, he owes it to them to provide support.
 

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