Mom suing dad's estate over pension

[cassandralue67]

Jurisdiction

New Jersey

My mom is currently suing my dad's estate of which myself and 2 siblings were the beneficiaries. I am 28, my sister is 15, and our brother is 39 (he and I do not have the same mom) I am going to try to make this as simple as possible.

2011 - my parents got divorced (so i thought - technically was a divorce bed and board), my dad bought her out of the house for about $150K and she signed the house over to my dad. In the divorce it mentions that my dad is not entitled to my moms 401K or pension. The divorce decree also required my dad to have a life insurance policy of $100K for my little sister. (he lost his job and did not have life insurance at the time he passed)
2014 - my dad receives notification that he is to receive a pension from a job he previously had (this was a surprise) - he takes the lump sum and tells my brother and I about it.
2015 - my dad passes away

My mom somehow found out about the pension and is suing the estate for the amount, plus damages, and attorney fees. She is also now trying to add in the life insurance policy. My dad spent the majority of the money on his healthcare and living expenses while he was sick. We used some to manage the estate as well so there is not much left anyway.

She says because they were technically still married that she is entitled to it. Is this really true? My dad didn't know he was getting a pension when the divorce decree was written which outlines that hers cannot be touched. Shouldn't the lawyers have done a better job on my dad's behalf?

Also, the company my dad worked for told my mom about the pension because she works there too. As far as I know, the company didn't recognize them as married, and she was not on any of his paperwork as a contact, Isn't that against the law? Can we do anything about it?

To top it all of, my mom stopped paying her attorney who removed herself as counsel (my mom is truly a piece of work), now what does that mean for us? We have attorneys who are fighting this, but we are racking up the bills, and it just doesn't all make sense to me. Please help me to understand.

 

[adjusterjack]

Sorry, can't help you yet.

Too many contradictions. Your Mom says she is "technically" married to your Dad but you allude to a "divorce decree" that says this, that, and the other thing.

Can't have it both ways.

The first thing you need to do to make sense out of all this is go to the courthouse and see if there is a divorce case there with your parents' name on it.

If there is, see if the divorce decree was actually signed by the judge and officially entered. If yes, get a copy. Then, when you are sitting with the copy on the table in front of you, come back to this thread for additional discussion.

 

[cassandralue67]

Sorry, can't help you yet.

Too many contradictions. Your Mom says she is "technically" married to your Dad but you allude to a "divorce decree" that says this, that, and the other thing.

Can't have it both ways.

The first thing you need to do to make sense out of all this is go to the courthouse and see if there is a divorce case there with your parents' name on it.

If there is, see if the divorce decree was actually signed by the judge and officially entered. If yes, get a copy. Then, when you are sitting with the copy on the table in front of you, come back to this thread for additional discussion.

So this is where it gets tricky, my parents had a divorce SETTLEMENT, which was carried out, but they are only legally separated. They never filed the divorce with a judge. Does that make more sense?

 

[cbg]

She says because they were technically still married that she is entitled to it. Is this really true?

If the divorce had not been finalized by a court and she is still a legal spouse, yes, it is really true. Under the law, the beneficiary of a pension or retirement plan MUST be a spouse, if there is a legal spouse, unless that spouse signs something relinquishing their rights.

I can't tell from here if they were still officially married or not. But IF they were, then unless Mom signed something that said otherwise, yes, she is legally entitled to his pension.

As far as I know, the company didn't recognize them as married, and she was not on any of his paperwork as a contact, Isn't that against the law? Can we do anything about it?

No, that is not against the law and there is nothing for you to do about it. Unlike pension and retirement plans, above, there is no law anywhere in the US that requires a spouse to be listed as a contact and no reason for an employer to "recognize" them as married unless they opted to be recognized as such.

 

[ElleMD]

If your Dad told his attorneys he didn't have a pension, why would they write a provision for this in the separation agreement? Might as well state she isn't entitled to his non-existent summer home too. It is no different. Now if Dad lied to his attorney about the pension and summer home, it isn't the attorney's fault.

If Dad was required to have life insurance to cover his minor child in the event of his death, he needed to have a policy whether it was available through an employer or not. This is not uncommon when minors are involved as upon death, the parent is no longer able to provide support. Getting compensation from the estate is the only option.

What happens between your mother and her counsel does not concern you nor change the outcome.

 

[cassandralue67]

She says because they were technically still married that she is entitled to it. Is this really true?

If the divorce had not been finalized by a court and she is still a legal spouse, yes, it is really true. Under the law, the beneficiary of a pension or retirement plan MUST be a spouse, if there is a legal spouse, unless that spouse signs something relinquishing their rights.

I can't tell from here if they were still officially married or not. But IF they were, then unless Mom signed something that said otherwise, yes, she is legally entitled to his pension.

As far as I know, the company didn't recognize them as married, and she was not on any of his paperwork as a contact, Isn't that against the law? Can we do anything about it?

No, that is not against the law and there is nothing for you to do about it. Unlike pension and retirement plans, above, there is no law anywhere in the US that requires a spouse to be listed as a contact and no reason for an employer to "recognize" them as married unless they opted to be recognized as such.

My dad received the pension himself as a lump sum and used it prior to his death. if he was the one that received and used the majority of the pension money, and this was BEFORE his death, she should still get it?

 

[army judge]

My dad received the pension himself as a lump sum and used it prior to his death. if he was the one that received and used the majority of the pension money, and this was BEFORE his death, she should still get it?

The money is gone.

Sadly, your father is dead.

Unless his estate was worth seven, or eight figures, (and even that might not mean anything) there's no money for anyone to obtain.

Any other specific questions you have, I suggest you direct to your attorney.

Based solely upon your posts, your mother's legal position appears rather weak.

That's understandable, she's hurt and knows there's not a damn thing she can do to the one she feels hurt her, your father.

Hang in there, as this will pass.

 

[cassandralue67]

The money is gone.

Sadly, your father is dead.

Unless his estate was worth seven, or eight figures, (and even that might not mean anything) there's no money for anyone to obtain.

Any other specific questions you have, I suggest you direct to your attorney.

Based solely upon your posts, your mother's legal position appears rather weak.

That's understandable, she's hurt and knows there's not a damn thing she can do to the one she feels hurt her, your father.

Hang in there, as this will pass.

thanks for that, I appreciate it. My siblings and I don't want any money; our only goal is to keep the house my dad built and to keep it in our family forever. I am afraid if my mom were to win we would be forced to sell the house.

I hope that this too passes. Thank you everyone for your help and input.

 

[ElleMD]

If he received and spent the pension, there may not be much recourse. The lack of an insurance policy to provide for his minor child is a bit of a sticky wicket. Unfortunately, judicial remedies for this are all over the map and there is no one way it is handled. Much depends upon the judge, local variances, the wording of the actual document providing for this, the outcome and effect on the child, assets of the estate, and many other factors.

If they are still legally married, the house very well may go to her anyway. Had they divorced that wouldn't have been the case, but as they never bothered to divorce, in the eyes of the law, they are just as married as a couple cohabitating and in love.

 

[cbg]

The pension is for him, for his use, during his lifetime. However, if there is anything that has not been distributed at the time of his death, the law says it goes to a legal spouse if there is one, with the one exception I've already indicated.

 

[cassandralue67]

If he received and spent the pension, there may not be much recourse. The lack of an insurance policy to provide for his minor child is a bit of a sticky wicket. Unfortunately, judicial remedies for this are all over the map and there is no one way it is handled. Much depends upon the judge, local variances, the wording of the actual document providing for this, the outcome and effect on the child, assets of the estate, and many other factors.

If they are still legally married, the house very well may go to her anyway. Had they divorced that wouldn't have been the case, but as they never bothered to divorce, in the eyes of the law, they are just as married as a couple cohabitating and in love.

Thanks for the info. My dad bought my mom out of the house during this time that they were separating and the deed was transferred into his name only. he also outlined in his will that the ONLY beneficiaries would me myself and my two siblings. He also appointed my brother as the trust for my younger sister so as not to give my mom any access (not sure if this makes a difference), would the house still possibly go to her when all is said and done?

 

[army judge]

Thanks for the info. My dad bought my mom out of the house during this time that they were separating and the deed was transferred into his name only. he also outlined in his will that the ONLY beneficiaries would me myself and my two siblings. He also appointed my brother as the trust for my younger sister so as not to give my mom any access (not sure if this makes a difference), would the house still possibly go to her when all is said and done?

Any answer you receive is simply a guess.
The matter is being litigated.
You'll need to see how the judge rules.
What you've been told is things look good, based upon what you've recited.
I'm sure the other side has opposing information.
No one can guarantee you the outcome you seek.
Now you must do what we all do, wait with bated breath for the judge to rule.