Mom is reneging on verbal consent for vacation

[Dad1234]

My jurisdiction is: California

Mom and I have 50/50 physical and legal custody. My daughter literally alternates every other day and every other weekend with her mom or me. We also have split holidays and breaks mandated on a court order.

We both live in Northern California, within 7 miles of each other. I have been planning a Spring Break trip to Southern California for almost a year. A few months ago, I mentioned this to my ex and I received a verbal consent to take my daughter. This morning, my ex texted me saying that I never asked or talked to her about this trip and that my daughter cannot go. She says that if I take my daughter, she will call the police and tell them that I took her without permission.

My daughter says that she and her mom spoke about this trip again last night. Her mom knew full well that we were going on this trip and has known for a very long time. She has not made any objections to it to our daughter.

According to court papers, it is my ex's Easter Sunday with my daughter but the weekend is mine so she wouldn't get her until Sunday morning. Spring Break is supposed to be broken up between the two of us so that means the status quo, every other day, and the weekend after Easter falls on her schedule (defined as Friday-Sunday).

My daughter is crushed. She has been talking very excitedly about this trip for several months.

If I take my daughter anyway and my ex calls the police, what would happen? I am her father and my ex has known about this trip and has verbally consented in the past. My daughter could corroborate this fact if the police were to ask her (she's 14 yrs-old).

Would the police take into account my ex's erratic nature? She has major mood swings and goes from being fine to completely the opposite at a drop of the hat (no real reasons to explain the lashing out). Her past episodes have caused her to have a permanent restraining order filed against her by my wife.

She used to pull this sort of stuff on me before when we had a general custody order and that is why I had to have it modified to detail exactly which holidays are who's on a court order.

Thanks for any advice.

 

[CdwJava]

If I take my daughter anyway and my ex calls the police, what would happen?

If the trip violates what is written into the text of the court approved custody papers, you could be charged with violating the court order - a misdemeanor (PC 166(a)(4)).

I am her father and my ex has known about this trip and has verbally consented in the past. My daughter could corroborate this fact if the police were to ask her (she's 14 yrs-old).

You can certainly raise that as a defense at trial, but the police can only act on what is in writing. Unless this trip is accounted for in the visitation and custody documents IN WRITING and agreed to, the police will act appropriately and you could be arrested. At the very least, they would likely have to forward the case to the DA for his review.

Would the police take into account my ex's erratic nature? She has major mood swings and goes from being fine to completely the opposite at a drop of the hat (no real reasons to explain the lashing out).

No, they wouldn't. They have to heed the judge's order.

She used to pull this sort of stuff on me before when we had a general custody order and that is why I had to have it modified to detail exactly which holidays are who's on a court order.

Sadly, it seems you should have also accounted for this trip in the revised papers.

If you take her on the trip, you risk prosecution for violating the court order. Whether the DA would file or not, I can't say. But, if the ex calls the cops and this trip is not specifically allowed in the order, you coul dbe in trouble.

- Carl